today's sermonette

the politics of crazy

2011-04-08T11:41:00.002-05:00

i've worked with folks with various forms, grades, classifications and degrees of mental illnesses for nearly 30 years. while some of them prove to be a little funny from time to time, they all have something in common: they need help. of some sort or another, they need some kind of help, whether medical, psychiatric, institutional, or just a hug and a friend, they need it. often, they don't realize the need, either. and sadly, once they DO get some help, they think, "ok, i'm cured; i don't need any more." sadly, some of those afflicted with mental illness commit crimes. they range from [just saw this in the paper this morning] blocking and yelling at an emergency vehicle to horrific crimes. bloody, gruesome crimes. things no normal thinking human could do. you've seen, read, heard of them. hopefully, not experienced them yourselves. but try to employ a diminished capacity or insanity defense in iowa? no way in hell. if, in the very rare event that such a defense actually works, they've gotta change the law to make it harder to use such a defense. earlier this week, in the latest example of a tragedy involving mental illness, a deputy sheriff was shot and killed by a man suffering from bipolar mental illness, according to media reports. notorious was the shooting of a popular football coach a couple years ago by another young man also deluded by an on-going mental illness. lost in the shuffle, however, are the hundreds and thousands hurt [emotionally and physically] by others suffering from un- or under-treated mental illnesses. but NOW the republicans in the state legislature vow not to adjourn until they fix the mental health system in iowa. let me give you a clue, boys and girls on the hill. congrats on discovering what has been a decaying problem since the first reagan administration: your party has been playing a leading role in the dismemberment of a once-functional mental health system throughout the u.s. but now, because of your fear of taxes and governmental intrusions into personal lives, rather than help, house, and treat the mentally ill, you force them under bridges and into jails. good luck, but what the hell took you so long? [oh, yeah: how ya gonna pay for this? just curious, of course.]

roadies, off-roadies and BMXers unite!!

2010-11-12T14:21:00.003-06:00

chad vandelune started a nice thread on the dsm cycling facebook group's page, wondering aloud how to get more bikie's KIDS involved with the ewing park BMX park. as someone who has been involved with ewing park, and its predecessor NBL track, since their inception, i said i'd try to put the two groups in touch with one another.
here is the email i sent out to the ewing park email list:

i've been following and taking part in a very lively discussion on facebook among some cycling pals of mine, prompted by a question posed by one who asked:

"XXXX XXXXX is wondering why more of his friends with kids don't have them racing at the DSM BMX track. A good friend of mine just started his boys this year and wants to know how to get more people involved. What would it take for some of you to get your kids out there?"

one friend said [with more than a bit of irony, given how much we spend for our road and cylcocross bikes and all] that the hold back was the cost of trying it for a kid, not knowing whether they'd LIKE it or not.
i said that all they needed to do was to get on this list and ASK to borrow somebody's for a trial ride, and they'd be able to do it.
others suggested maybe the track needed some bikes and helmets for use on practice nights.
another suggested that "the track needs to be promoted to the [cycling] community."

the upshot is that here are a bunch of men and women who have been road and mountain bike racing and riding for years who now have kids of their own, and they want them to start by BMX racing.
my question to you is, "WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

there will be logistical issues, scheduling and all that, as many of these folks train and race themselves. but these are people who ride and race A LOT, and who have lots of friends--with kids--who do likewise.
this is a perfect opportunity, what with the season sure to end at first snowfall, to plan for a really big rookie class in 2011, with possibly many more nights of practice and racing.
i look forward to answering any questions this list might have, and am eager to help merge to two groups. bike racing rocks.
please respond. --kim west

here are the responses i've received thus far--just one day into it--from the ewing park email list.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DISCUSSION BY LEAVING YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.

1--from kittie weston-knauer, former president, and head mover and shaker, of BMX in des moines:
Kim, we may have had our last outdoor race for the season Sunday pass. Question, where do the roadies race in the winter time. We could get a jump on the season if we were to have an indoor facility. Does anyone in group know of place with about 23,000 square feet where a track could be built and used until April of 2011. This would also give the roadies something to do themselves during this time of the year.
I am excited to know that they want their youngsters on BMX bikes. A great idea would be to acquire bikes and helmets that could be used at any time by any of the racers. With the proceeds from the Redline Cup Qualifier this past summer, we were able to purchase a 40 foot trailer, so space does exist to house the bikes, helmets and any other equipment. I would love to sit with interested roadies to talk about the reality of an indoor facility or planning for the 2011 outdoor season with two or three nights of practice and two days of racing per week. We would love to be included in cycling coverage in whatever manner that might take.
Let's keep the dialogue going. Kittie

2--from the josts:
you could contact standard byke in quad cities and see if they have a couple old bikes to donate.

3--from amy graber:
Just an fyi, Scott and Kay are at a funeral and they run the track so probably won't get back to you for the next few days.
i do know there are helmets at the track for new people to use and I think there is a bike there so the kids can try it. If not, we have two or 3 bikes ourselves and always have them with us if people ever want to give the track a try. All they have to do is come in long sleeves and long pants.
Promoting, comes mainly from word of mouth. The track is trying desperately to raise $15,000.00 so they can seal the track (to keep it from eroding) and asphalt the start and berms. So, money for advertising is tight. Ewing Park BMX does have a facebook page (we'd love to have more facebook friends, friend us!) and we are planning on doing as many parades as possible this spring and summer to get the word out.
We are also trying to get info into the DSM register via pics and community info pages.
So, please keep talking about Ewing Park BMX to your friends! We'd love to have them bring their kids out! Last year, the membership doubled in size and we hope to do that again next year! I know my hubby (who raced as a kid) and my son (his first year was this year) have had a BLAST racing together this year!! We have become BMX crazy in one short year.
Thanks, Amy Graber

4--from marty stutz:
Thank you Kim West for this intriguing, thought provoking email.
There is clear win/win potential in this dialogue. I’m copying the list on this email in hopes that others can expound upon and/or correct any inaccuracies in what I have to say.
I think that the concerns expressed by your cycling friends are legitimate but you addressed them appropriately.
BMX can cost a lot…but it does not have to cost a lot. Jeans, a long sleeve shirt, tennis shoes, helmet and virtually any bike. Many racers ride bikes found on Craig’s List, EBay, etc. and are very competitive. You are absolutely correct that if a family showed up to check things out on a practice night or reached out to this distribution list that they would be able to get their hands on a bike and give it a try. I will never forget how warmly we were greeted on our first night at the track after my then 5-year old son found a flyer at Bordenaro’s Pizza and we decided to check it out. A local 15 year old expert ushered him around the track and provided tremendous advice and encouragement and pretty much watched over him the entire session.
The track does own some helmets and one bike. I need to donate my son’s old helmet (thanks for making me realize that) and suspect that others have gear that they could contribute as well.
The track is in its second season under the auspices of the American Bicycle Association (ABA) (ababmx.com). This sanctioning organization is great and offers tremendous support at the local, state, regional, national and international levels. Ewing Park is still in its infancy but has gained good momentum in a short period of time. As you might imagine, starting, maintaining and improving a track is quite an undertaking. Ewing Park BMX is a non-profit organization subsisting primarily on race entry fees and subject to costs including insurance premiums, the ABA’s cut, trophies, kybo (sp?), etc. To the extent there is “extra” money (what a concept) it’s plowed back into the track…e.g. corner signage, a storage container, maintenance equipment, etc.
Recently we (and by we, I mean you Amy) have come up with some great fund raising ideas that are being implemented. We have also preliminarily talked a bit about pursuing grants. Such lump sums could really jump start plans for more permanent (and pricy) improvements (e.g. paving, sealing, staging area, etc.) that could take the track to the next level. Many of us have attended ABA National races in the Midwest and I think that has helped to form a longer-term vision of what Ewing Park could become.
It won’t happen overnight, but it starts with continuing to grow our local base and expanding from there. That’s where the win/win comes in with you opening the door to promote the track to the broader cycling community. This overture is a wonderful opportunity to reach out to others with a passion for two-wheeled, human-powered competition.
I am not the most eloquent person in the world but I could speak pretty passionately about BMX in general and the potential of Ewing Park in particular. I serve in no official capacity as a representative of the track and don’t want to overreach here. Those who serve in official capacities are receiving this message. If they approve I would be more than willing to play a role in promoting Ewing Park BMX. I would be happy to meet with members of your circle or to help in any way you see fit.
As a parent I can speak without equivocation regarding the benefits of BMX to my 6-year old son. He plays all the team sports where, at his age, no one loses and everyone wins. That’s fine. But BMX has taught him to be self-reliant (i.e. once he’s in the gate, he’s on his own). He has learned to win humbly and to lose graciously. He has seen how to act and how not to act. He has dealt with adversity. And he has realized the rewards that can come from practice and hard work.
Thank you again for reaching out. I, and presumably many others who received your email, look forward to advancing this conversation.
Kind regards, Marty Stutz

5--from angie boyens:
Hi Kim -
I would say the cost to start is kind of exaggerated. I love biking - so decided to start my son who is six this year. We just had him go out in jean and a long sleeve t-shirt, borrowed a motorcycle helmet from the neighbor and had him race a few times. Once we was hooked - we upgraded the little diamond back (his everyday bike) we had bought at Rassy's to a redline purchased off eBay for less than his original bike. Next year - we are going to invest in the bike pants and jersey and maybe some better shoes....
I will say - on a positive note - it has given my son a ton of confidence on the bike. He is now riding trails with me, I have had him at Banner and Aquahbi and he is better than me :). Still trying to peak the interest in my 8 year old daughter, she tried a practice at Ewing Park and didn't like it. At the last race - she said she may try it again, now that we have a better bike for them to race.... We shall see.
Take care, Angie Boyens

as i said, PLEASE pass this around, share your thoughts, ideas and feelings about this. ewing park bmx presents a fantastic opportunity to get more kids of all ages [recall, i'm 58] involved in yet ANOTHER kind of bike racing. and isn't that the point of a cycling community? to help it grow, and in turn, to make our LARGER community better and truly more bike friendly and bike welcoming?
and yet another reason to buy yet another bicycle?
thanks for contributing!

softies on bikes [and other 21st century lazy athletes]

2010-08-09T11:08:00.005-05:00

i'm a bicycle racer.

i have been since 1983, and am proud of it. although i'm 27 years older than when i began racing, i still think my best years of racing--and results--are ahead of me. i've competed hundreds--without thinking, maybe thousands?--of times, and have won many many times. i've won lots of small races, some bigger races, in every discipline of bike race i've entered, except bmx, dammit. i've competed in small, unsanctioned "citizen" races put on by small towns and committees during local festivals. i've competed in huge races promoted by large, national corporations whose business is putting on good, hard bicycle races.

i've had my ass handed to me in all sorts of circumstances, by all level of competitors. it always sucks. i've dished out my share [or more] of on-the-road testosterone invectives to fellow competitors who i felt weren't racing or working as hard as i thought they should. and i go around afterwards and tell them that it was in the heat of the battle, nothing personal. that's how heated i get sometimes.

folks who know me know i am opinionated and not shy about it.

i have always loved long, hard bike races. i LOVE racing under hot and humid conditions: brings out the tough guy in folks. if you can't take it, drop out. darwinian racing at its best.
i disdain--i LOATHE--wheel suckers and whiners who aren't here to work.

so this is nothing new, right? same old crap, mr. west.

here's what has me bugged:
1--hy-vee triathlon, bigge$t in the world, best triathletes around--near and far--train all YEAR to bust it out at hy-vee.
it rains, and they CANCEL the junior events. "sorry kids, too dangerous."
they shorten the open and elite events. "sorry, grown-ups, it's in your best interests."
2--big creek triathlon, an old event that has been run in late-july to mid-august for 30+ years. heat index above 100F. "gotta shorten it, too dangerous."
these are events for "athletes" who have trained months and years for these events.

counter those facts with these:
1--ragbrai 38 just ended. it's been held the last full week of july for, what, 35 years, and was in august before that? seven days of riding, rain, shine, hail, thunderstorms, freezing cold, whatever. a family affair for up to 20,000 people of various fitness levels. raining? take shelter, or not. use your judgment.
2--the iowa state [bicycle] road race championships were held the day before big creek. the category 1/2 and cat 3 race was 108 miles long. many other races were 81 and 57 miles long. it rained like a son of a bitch for the first 80 miles, then was a steam oven for the rest, over a very hilly course around west branch, iowa. it was run un-affected.
3--yesterday at high noon--long after the last big creek triathlete had finished, a friend and i took off on a 3-hour ride into the scorching heat of the day. long, tempo with hills. i'm 57; my friend 40. we were tired when we finished, but we were better cyclists for having done so. no whining, no bitching about it.

what's the point? it's this: just because you work out, that in and of itself does not make you an athlete. weekend warrior, maybe, but in my book, nothing more. if that's all you want, fine.
just don't go telling others within my earshot how tough you are.

and if you say, "well, the promoters are to blame," TELL THEM they woefully underestimate the abilities, desire, training, and self-knowledge of the folks who pay to do their events.
don't just sit around and say, "boy, i was really tough out there on that shortened course."
at least, not where i can hear you.

i know, you're gonna say, "hey, loudmouth, how come you're doing all this smack talking, and you do tandem and masters races. thought you were a big tough cat 1."
true, true. but i dedicated this season to trying another demanding type of racing, tandems. we aren't content to just be a cute couple riding a tandem. we want to be the best.
right now, we're not, we know it, and we continue to kick our asses to get to be the best.
it's not as easy as it seems. ask kim or brian eppen, if you don't believe me. THEY'RE the best.

now, a related topic:

races, race promoters, and the people who race

our team, zealous racing, is the biggest promoter of races in central iowa, and perhaps the entire state of iowa. we put on races all year long, from march through october. for years, we have had mid-week training races [the legendary elkhart time trial series, the flood-dependant water works park omniums, and last year's altoona criteriums]. they are cheap, fun, and GREAT opportunities to develop skills for beginners, and sharpen skills and fitness for the serious races that take place on weekends.

and we have for years put on large, significant weekend races: early season gravel races at mitchellville, the legendary altoona road race, the state fair crits, and numerous cyclocross races in september and october [including the state championship races long at pella and now for the past few years in altoona].
we promote these races for the sake of the sport, for the benefit of the host communities, and for the opportunities they present to race the visibility of bicycle racing to the unknowledgeable public, some of whom might be the ones who terrorize you on your daily training rides in their death cages.
for years, we have sponsored the "iowa cup," the season-long battle for individual supremacy in a pre-designated series of races of all sorts through-out the state.
as a team, and to an individual, we do NOT benefit financially from these race-promoting endeavors. it costs a ton of money to do this, and it takes a shit-load of behind the scenes time to make these happen. long hours are spent year-round mending fences, convincing residents that bike races are a good thing, attending meetings, glad-handing folks who only know about drunken revellers and lawsuits, but not the long years spent training on a bike because you love to ride and race bikes.

these are long hours that could be spent training but are diverted to race-promotion activities because we love the sport of bicycle racing and we want as many folks as possible to be able to take part in it.

you think it's easy, or profitable? put one on.

and yet--getting back to the "softies" theme--what do we get? complaints from a very few that we don't do enough. okay, when i began racing, you could get training sew-ups for $5, chains for $5, and entry fees were $10 to $20. you could do actual stage races in iowa. hotel rooms were $30 split 6 to 8 ways. and you won a few bucks in return.

now, weekend races cost $30 to $60 bucks. it cost $135 to do a 28km time trial at masters nationals for a tandem; same fee for a 72km road race. [which is why we went to michigan instead.]

training races? race like a girl is $10-$15; no prizes other than swag. elkhart? $15; $5 for juniors. prizes? IT'S A TRAINING SERIES! you want cash prizes, race on weekends or do the open men class. you spend long hours training, and spend big bucks on your tt bike, then race it where it counts. put your money where your mouth is.
we were content to do the tandem series this year, marking our improvement against the other teams, little-by-little, until we finally beat them. but not by enough.
next year, folks!

it's good to be back, readers. thanks for your patience. got busy, got married, got lots of irons in the fire. but i will post these musings more frequently.
apparently i have a bit on my chest.

classic bicycling reading material, part 1

2010-04-07T14:28:00.004-05:00

what's the weather for TODAY? let's see...

2010-02-22T05:08:00.001-06:00

click on map for a better glimpse!

the more things don't change, . . .

2010-02-18T15:18:00.002-06:00

[click on image to enlarge, for easier viewing]

the greatest crimefighter the world has ever known!!

2010-02-11T10:24:00.000-06:00

on weekends, that is...

what does your coffee say about YOU?

2010-02-09T08:33:00.002-06:00

Coffee snobs can find more than froth and sugar at the bottom of their cups - personality lives there as well.
While strolling out of a cafe on the way to work, that cup of coffee in your hand is actually emitting hidden meanings to passers-by.
In their new book, The You Code, body language experts Judi James and James Moore decipher what our caffeine preferences reveal about our self esteem, stress levels and even sex life.
THE ESPRESSO DRINKER - James and Moore describe the espresso as "the unfiltered cigarette of the coffee drinking world". Espresso drinkers tend to be moody, hard-bitten and hard working. They are into leadership and fast goals. They don't suffer fools but are hard living and prone to "night-time shenanigans, followed by a rather louche attempt at day time repair". The espresso drinker can be an experienced, exciting and consummate lover but is not known for reliability or unswerving loyalty.
THE BLACK COFFEE DRINKER - This type is al about minimalism and takes a no-frills, direct approach to life.
The black coffee drinker can be quiet and moody but prone to brief bursts of extroversion. "A difficult but potentially rewarding friend, colleague or partner," James and Moore conclude.
THE LATTE DRINKER - Typically metrosexuals or cuddly-toy collectors, latte drinkers are pleasers with an overwhelming compulsion to be liked. A latte drinking boss will use a baby voice to tell you off.
By taking a dark and dangerous drink and turning it into a comforting milky bedtime beverage, James and Moore say, latte drinkers reveal that while they may want to come across as hot shot contenders, they have an immature side.
THE CAPPUCCINO DRINKER - What's not to like about the extroverted, optimistic cappuccino drinker? Like their drink, cappuccino drinkers are all froth and bubble, bored by detail and liking - but not obsessed with - material objects. "Freud would have a field day here," write James and Moore. "Cappuccino froth gives the tongue the mother of all workouts and is all to do with the physicality of the experience rather than the basic consumption of the beverage." The cappuccino drinker enjoys sex but is easily bored by an unimaginative partner.
THE INSTANT COFFEE DRINKER - These are cheerful, straight forward types, who like a laugh and live by the maxim "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". But instant coffee drinkers can be unadventurous in their careers and need to let others see the hidden depths in their personality. The no-nonsense instant coffee drinker is allergic to pretentious behaviour, say James and Moore, and they are likely to keep their socks on during sex.
THE DECAF SOY MILK DRINKER - A self-righteous eco-worrier and attention seeker with a tendency to be picky, fussy - and squeamish in the bedroom. What's more, this faux choice implies a pretentious, high-maintenance type who wants what they can't have and is disguising their true personality. "If caffeine gives palpitations and cow's milk brings you out in spots there's little hope for you in the cockroach society that is city dwelling", James and Moore conclude.
THE FRAPPUCINO DRINKER - Flighty and shallow, the frappucino drinker will try anything once - especially if a celebrity has done it first. They fancy themselves trend setters but send out the message that they are someone who favours style over substance. The frappucino drinker's relationships often last as long as their drink choice, according to James and Moore.
THE NON-COFFEE DRINKER - Unfortunately, the verdict isn't good. Frightened of coffee equals frightened of life, say James and Moore. If the taste of coffee puts you off you really are a child, they say, and it's time to join the world of grown ups. But there's hope. "Twenty one days is all it will take to break your cycle of disgust and then you'll be back in the real world."

2010-02-08T05:40:00.000-06:00

ice beards revisited

2010-02-05T05:47:00.003-06:00

a brief visual review of recent winters,

as measured in snow beard currency

december, 2008

december, 2007

january, 2010

december, 2007

music to go insane by

2010-02-03T13:04:00.000-06:00

barred by facebook? hmmm...

2010-02-02T13:33:00.002-06:00

the users of facebook have such weak stomachs. but blogophiles are of stouter stuff. read here for details about this clever after-market item.

heckling the hecklers

2010-01-28T10:22:00.002-06:00

why i race:

justice stevens: say it isn't so

2010-01-25T15:32:00.002-06:00

when i was a young trouble maker, i admired the u.s. supreme court. its players--the nine--were THE big league to me. william o. douglas, thurgood marshall, the minnesota twins [harry blackmun and chief justice warren burger], hugo black, john marshall harlan II, william brennan, lewis powell, jr, felix frankfurter, and others, were the players who drove me to know and use the constitution in the defense of others.

. . . . .

the supreme court was an impartial institution, steeped in deep respect for tradition and respect for the individual, historically. but that has changed. the erosion began slowly, but reached a fever pitch with the second bush presidency, with the appointment not of legal scholars but ideologues.

it reached a milestone last week with the court's decision in citizens united v. federal election commission, which threw away decades of precident to the contrary and threw open the doors of the voting booth to the latest class of citizens: corporations.

. . . . .

cries of "judicial activism" by the right wing shall forever ring of hypocrasy in light of a decision in a case grabbed and docketed for re-hearing on a completely ignored point, so that the same court that gave george w. bush the presidency in 2000 can reserve for its corporate constituency the right of buying each and every election it desires in the future.

. . . . .

read more here, and follow the links the opinion provides.

and weep for the past and future of american democracy.

the answer to today's traffic quiz

2010-01-21T08:29:00.003-06:00

Traffic Question

Most men will get this right .....
Q: You are driving along a narrow two lane road

with a NO PASSING sign posted,

and you come upon a bicycle rider.
Do you:

(a) Follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles,

(b) Do you break the law and pass?

. . . . .

Which is the correct choice?

A: Why take unnecessary risks and get a ticket?
IT'S ONLY FOR TWO MILES, WHAT IF SHE FALLS !
Men get it right, because men are more considerate.

monday got ya down?

2010-01-18T10:08:00.000-06:00

A brief interview with the devil, given how he was a little busy, what with the world the way it is, and such

2010-01-07T15:19:00.002-06:00

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The devil wore patent leather Bruno Magli wingtips, a Dolce camelhair jacket, houndstooth fedora. We met at a small café on the outskirts of Amsterdam; he was dashing off to a climate meeting where he planned to heckle scientists in the form of a trembling flat-earther before cruising over to North Korea to whisper backwards Latinate phrases into the tormented ear of Kim Jong Il. Then on to Alberta to broker some new oilsands deals, and finally, off to Rome to further tempt Vatican clergy in the form of a beautiful, smooth-skinned altar boy named Rodrigo.

Not bad for an afternoon's work, he said, grinning.

Thank you for taking the time to answer a few questions. I understand you're very busy.

Hang on, just finishing up this text to Ballmer. "Congrats on Windows 7! We finally did it!" Now let me just Twitter about finding irrefutable proof that Obama is a Nazi sympathizer, then plant this item on Drudge about the new health care bill secretly taking H1N1 vaccines away from white Christian children and giving them to Mexican illegals. There.

OK, make it quick, I gotta pack for a petrochem summit in Davos. Keynote, as usual. Those boys f--king love me.

I appreciate your time. Now, many say the world is in a horrible state of turmoil...

Isn't that great, by the way? That's just f--king great. Dear God, I rule.

I'm sorry?

It's not, actually, just FYI. Here's a little secret I don't talk about much, but you'll forget it the instant I leave anyway: The world is actually teeming with beauty and life and rejuvenation, hope and awe and epiphany, every moment of every day. There is pure bliss, entire universes of knowing, pure God consciousness available in the smallest instant, the complete breath, the gentlest human touch. But you didn't hear it from me! (Laughs, concrete curdles).

Well, there have been some pretty difficult, even horrifying events in the past few years...

Let me just clear up one misconception right here. People thought I was swamped during the Bush years, running that whole glorious, bloody spectacle. And it's true, I was busy. But it was also wonderfully easy.

What do you mean?

Honey, I had armies of devoted minions in power back then. I basically sat back like a fat, narcotized Hamptons housewife while my staff brought me cupcakes made of war and fear and homophobia, Christian evangelicals and Muslim hysteria and economic failure. Glorious, glorious time.

But now? Now it's ... different. Bloom is off the black rose, you might say. I'm still busy, still plenty of ugly out there, but I'm not in control anymore. Now I'm just herding cats. Very, very dumb cats.

But we still have all these problems...

Sure you do. But now there's this sickening movement toward responsibility and progress that I find totally nauseating. I spend all my time planting these ridiculous stories, going lower and lower on the intellectual food chain just to get the dittoheads to scream about, what's that crap again? Birthers? Death squads? Teabagging? ACORN? This is what I'm reduced to. F--king hate it. But at least I'll always have oil. And guns. Talk radio. Monsanto.

But even the world's finest scientists say we're on the cusp of meltdown, what with global warming and ...

Global warming? Please. Total hoax. Evolution? Hoax. Electric cars? Hoax. All of existence? Hoax. The Bible? Actually not a hoax -- the true, literal, perfect English transcript of floaty magic-winged creatures living on sparkly clouds and judging what you eat and how you have sex, because everyone knows the Almighty loves war, college football, and large caliber handguns, hates gays, Muslims and the French, and wears a U.S. flag lapel pin that was actually made in China. Ha!

I don't see how that relates to...

You don't? You don't see how I can hurl BS into the culture on a spit and a whim before I even eat my morning sacrifices? Let me put it this way:
Millions of you actually believe the Bible is literal fact, but you think climate change is a grand, devious ruse. Come on. Who but me could pull off such a masterstroke? I should have my own goddamn reality show. Oh wait, I have all the reality shows.

So you're saying humanity's really not on a collision course with destruction?

Oh hell, of course you are. It's all decay and annihilation and flow and flux. Human civilizations come and go like a divine menstrual cycle. I set my Panerai by it. Never forget, sweetheart: change is the only constant. But as any good mystic or pagan will tell you, destruction and creation are the same god with two intergalactic calling plans. Existence bounded up in a nutshell, the king of infinite space. This is all just a delightful illusion. I should know; I co-designed it.

But what about all the corruption and deception?

Look, I don't care how you measure. Trilateral commission, U.N. security counsel, NSA, CIA, Blackwater, communism, shadow governments, all of them. It's just a grand circus, you know? This is all just a ride. My day-to-day power lies in making millions forget what a cosmic joke it all is.

You take yourselves so damn seriously: your raging political parties, the "crucial" issues, Wall Street, gun control, organized religion, banks, credit card companies, big oil, even the endless wars, dictators, all this nefarious churn. You know what it is? It is the silliest charade. It is monkeys playing piano. It is a grand flea circus on the back of a celestial dog, and he's about to scratch himself.

But what of the pain and suffering? The agony of existence?

Oh my sweet Allah with steaming pork sandwich, what an egotistical species you are! Millennia of war and death and pain and fighting over tiny scraps of land, little dusty strips of nothing, thinking God bestowed it upon you! Let me tell you something: the divine has no agenda whatsoever except to know itself in myriad form. God is a life energy. I am a death energy. Creator/destroyer. Light/dark. Inhale/exhale. Shiva/Shakti. Spit/swallow. Both vital. Both omnipotent. Both essential. You have to choose to see it. You feel me?

I think I do.

How about now?

Please take your tail out of there.

Sure thing, lovebug.

All right, since we're already out of time, let's do a quick lightning round.

Love lightning. Drizzle it on my virgin sacrifices every morning.

I'll toss out some names and current events, and you tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. All right?

Bring it.

Barack Obama

Ha! Dude pisses me off. Can't seem to rile him. Thinks he understands things. Actually does. Know what I hate more than anything, and that includes laughter and singing in the shower and multiple orgasms? Wisdom. Calm, assured wisdom in the face of all the whining and screeching I can muster from my minions. Such gall. Makes my soul pimple.

Rush Limbaugh

I have hangnails more interesting.

Glenn Beck

Who?

Ann Coulter

Has a bizarre thing for dwarves dressed in Chewbacca costumes while she's in full body latex and covered in Crisco. Oh wait, Glenn Beck? Now I remember. All about yodeling, self-flagellation, sniffing the tailpipes of monster trucks, usually simultaneously. They make a cute pair, like a puppet show in an asylum.

The world's dictators. Mugabe, King Abdullah, Hu Jintao...

Ah, now we're getting somewhere! My boys! Some of my best work at the moment. Monsters in different skins, the shadow side incarnate. Love them. What a terrific mirror they are for that part of you so many of you refuse to see!

How about the "New Atheists?" Richard Dawkins, Chris Hitchens, et al?

Cute. Harmless. Completely missing the point. Look, it's way too easy to point out the childish folly, the cute mythology of every major faith in the world. Of course they're fiction. Of course they're totally absurd. Of course those in charge use them to keep millions weak and guilt-riddled and forcibly detached from the idea that they already are divine. A no-brainer, really.

So they're misinformed?

To say the least. They're also only half right. Atheists have merely cut off part of their soul to spite their fate.

After all, it's far more interesting, more challenging to peek behind the silly religious rulebooks and church politics and the obvious myth-making, and taste the source, the wider energy at play. Believing in floaty angels and immaculate conception is for children. Not very bright children, at that. The tantrikas had it absolutely right: the divine is available in an instant, in every moment -- no rules, no complicated hierarchies, no institutions. You are god. You are the devil. Everything else is just maya -- illusion.

But wait, what about...

Whoops, hang on, that's my phone. It's a text from Jesus. Wants to meet for a drink. And it's only noon! That kid is so crazy. If you people only knew. Bye now.

today's forecast: becoming patsy & ferlin, with a good chance of soapflakes

2010-01-06T07:03:00.002-06:00

greasoned seedlings, goys and burls!

2009-12-24T12:13:00.001-06:00

FLASH: dog bites man!

2009-12-18T10:57:00.003-06:00

click here for more details...

it's the new "gold"

2009-12-16T15:14:00.003-06:00

can you say "camiseta roja"?

248,298 and counting!

2009-12-13T08:51:00.002-06:00

will we reach 250,000 today? perhaps 'round midnight. thanks to all the fans of scrubs and sarah chalke, around the world. i had NO idea she was that popular. seriously popular.

"liege, 1980" -- DON'T SAY IT ! !

2009-12-11T06:04:00.004-06:00

[click to enlarge, but read it to yourself, not aloud.]

regular readers will be familiar with my regular rants about how to many neophites overuse the word <<epic>> to include such non-descript events as one's morning poop or a regular bicycle training ride. although either might exceed one's nominal expectations of the day, neither should approach the limits of your capacities or the peripheries of your mental capabilities. now, it seems, the good people at pez have picked up my rant, and have given it an appropriate illustration that proves my point. so just because it snowed the other day, it snows EVERY fucking winter, doesn't it? and just because you ride your bike outside in the snow, STFU about the so-called "epic" nature of it, because if YOU say it's epic, it ain't.

and i con't care if you're lance fucking armstrong, it STILL ain't epic just because you say it is.

now, go out and ride your bicycle.

it's just another day . . .

only a little colder.

shortbus heckling training video released

2009-12-03T16:24:00.001-06:00

this is how SERIOUSLY we take our heckling!

bikini cross, 2009!

2009-12-01T23:41:00.003-06:00

[click on photo to enlarge]

* * * * *

if i had a nickel for everytime i said "you just GOTTA go to jingle cross," i'd be a fairly wealthy man.

but if i had a dime for every time someone said to me, "you know, you were RIGHT about what you said about going to jingle cross,"

i could afford to buy these women

"kim west radio cycling show"

racing bikinis!!

pearl

2009-11-20T11:42:00.003-06:00

pearl dancing at burning man. she danced with friends every sunday morning; it was her spiritual thing. she was such a powerful being. things and people flourished because of her.

janna and her burning man bike; it was later painted white and permanently decorated with flowers and such. sadly, i never made it to the festival with her.

i first encountered and became entranced by this smile in junior high school. it never changed. i'm sure gonna miss this one.

. . . . .

life never gets easier, i've learned. the most one can hope for is to not be overwhelmed by what life throws your way. ironically, the very strength that pearl helped others discover within themselves was never fully accessible to pearl when she needed it most. she constantly pushed and tested her limits in her explorations of human despair, to better equip her to help others cope with theirs. it was not necessarily a noble undertaking, in her view. it was just what she did: she gave of herself to others. those who knew her were better as a result of that.

pearl

2009-11-19T08:15:00.003-06:00

my friend pearl died monday; i learned of her death yesterday. i am struggling to put into words how i feel about this loss.

ahead of the curve

2009-11-17T20:33:00.003-06:00

that's where i've always striven to stay. so with that as my guiding principle, watch this. and take notes. i tell ya, i'm ON to something that's gonna be BIG.

let's make THIS happen in des moines!!

2009-11-13T13:10:00.001-06:00

check out this link to an insane ride--entirely within the portland city limits!
or watch THIS video from 2007, which gpickle tells me is BETTER!!

i hate qwest

2009-11-12T09:40:00.002-06:00

Chat Transcript
info: Thank you for using Qwest.com. A Qwest Sales and Service Consultant will be with you in just a moment. Your account information is confidential and protected by law. Advise our agent if you prefer that we don't use it to market bundled services. This has no effect on the service or offers we provide for you.
info: Thank you for contacting Qwest. My name is Taylor B. How may I help you today?
kim west: i am unable to log into my account.
Taylor B: I apologize for the inconvenience.
Taylor B: I will be happy to assist you.
kim west: that's ok; not your fault.
Taylor B: What is the billing phone number on your account?
kim west: 515-XXX-XXXX
Taylor B: Thank you.
Taylor B: Just to verify that I am speaking with the responsible party on this account, please provide me with your Qwest Security Code.
kim west: hm?
Taylor B: It is a 12 character code Qwest issued to you.
Taylor B: If you are at the billing number now, I can have an automated call made to you with the security code or I would be happy to mail the security code to your billing address.
kim west: [reading from current bill] 515-XXX-XXXX-ZZZ
RTaylor B: That is your account number. The security code is a separate 12 character code.
kim west: yes...
Taylor B: Are you at that billing number now?
kim west: no; it's my fax line. where can i find it? i just want to pay my bills on line and avoid the most annoying automated voice mail system ever.
Taylor B: Well it should have been mailed to you when your service started. I would be happy to mail the security code to your billing address. In the meantime, if you call the billing department at 800-491-0118, they can take a payment over the phone.
kim west: i started using this number in 1994. i have already made the payment, i just want to get outside and do something else.
Taylor B: Okay. Unfortunately, I cannot access any account information without verifying a security code.
kim west: whatever. click.

the beauty of delusion: 3' passing laws

2009-11-04T11:08:00.003-06:00

jane: "if we just had more laws to protect bicyclists, we could pedal our way right into nirvana."

dan: "jane, you ignorant slut."

ol' dan is right again. read here for today's proof that more laws don't protect bicyclsts; strict enforcement and uniform application do.

that, and an EFFECTIVE public awareness campaign about the policy of strict enforcement.

"no, really: we're just friends"

2009-11-03T15:29:00.002-06:00

that's not completely true -- yet.

today, i became a "fan" of former governor and fellow-radio talk show host sarah palin. on facebook, anyway.

but soon, i hope to become an actual friend.

i think i have a lot to offer, in a friendship kind of way, and i think she is sharp enough to recognize that.

but time is of the essence.

the future of our democracy--our way of life--lies in the balance.

or some sort of shit like that.

wish me luck...

i'm going in!

answering THE age-old question:

2009-10-29T15:35:00.000-05:00

a pie in the sky to soupy sales

2009-10-23T06:06:00.000-05:00

nighthawks at the diner

2009-10-22T23:00:00.002-05:00

"iggy; you call me iggy."
"look, i'm sorry i'm late, jim. boy, ooo, four-car pile-up. oof. i delivered a baby this morning about nine o'clock, i was saving lives; i was out there on the highway. it was, you know, there's nothing worse than roadside surgery..."

dick cheney was "incompetent war fighter" - general paul eaton, ret.

2009-10-22T14:09:00.001-05:00

National Security Network Senior Adviser Gen. Paul Eaton (Ret.), who served more than 30 years in the United States Army and from 2003-2004 oversaw the training of the Iraqi military, responded to Dick Cheney's accusations on Afghanistan from last night:
"The record is clear: Dick Cheney and the Bush administration were incompetent war fighters. They ignored Afghanistan for 7 years with a crude approach to counter-insurgency warfare best illustrated by: 1. Deny it. 2. Ignore it. 3. Bomb it. While our intelligence agencies called the region the greatest threat to America, the Bush White House under-resourced our military efforts, shifted attention to Iraq, and failed to bring to justice the masterminds of September 11.
"The only time Cheney and his cabal of foreign policy 'experts' have anything to say is when they feel compelled to protect this failed legacy. While President Obama is tasked with cleaning up the considerable mess they left behind, they continue to defend torture or rewrite a legacy of indifference on Afghanistan. Simply put, Mr. Cheney sees history throughout extremely myopic and partisan eyes. "As one deeply invested in the Armed Forces of this country, I am grateful for the senior military commanders assigned to leading this fight and the men and women fighting on the ground. But I dismiss men like Cheney who inject partisan politics into the profound deliberations our Commander-in-Chief and commanders on the ground are having to develop a cohesive and comprehensive strategy, bringing to bear the economic and diplomatic as well as the military power, for Afghanistan -- something Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld never did.
"No human endeavor can be as profound as sending a nation's youth to war. I am very happy to see serious men and women working hard to get it right."

poster child

2009-10-21T11:25:00.002-05:00

i hate cliches.

i hate it when a bicyclist is killed by a motorist.

i hate it even more when that motorist is not charged and held legally and morally accountable for that death.

i hate it even more when a culpable politician hides behind a cliche to cover the fact that he lacks balls and a spine.

egro, i hate it twice as much when two bicyclists die.

but imagine how i feel when when i read the continuing story about this unbelievable situation in san antonio and the entire state of texas.

here comes my cliche du jour:

fucking politicians

more music before bed

2009-10-13T21:43:00.000-05:00

i've just gotta have another . . .

2009-10-13T21:38:00.001-05:00

ahh, life used to be so simple...

2009-10-12T04:46:00.000-05:00

Friends,
Last night my wife asked me if I thought I was a little too hard on Obama in my letter yesterdaycongratulating him on his Nobel Prize. "No, I don't think so," I replied. I thought it was important to remind him he's now conducting the two wars he's inherited. "Yeah," she said, "but to tell him, 'Now earn it!'? Give the guy a break -- this is a great day for him and for all of us."
I went back and re-read what I had written. And I listened for far too long yesterday to the right wing hate machine who did what they could to crap all over Barack's big day. Did I -- and others on the left -- do the same?
We are weary, weary of war. The trillions that will have gone to these two wars have helped to bankrupt us as a nation -- financially and morally. To think of all the good we could have done with all that money! Two months of the War in Iraq would pay for all the wells that need to be dug in the Third World for drinking water! Obama is moving too slow for most of us -- but he needs to know we are with him and we stand beside him as he attempts to turn eight years of sheer madness around. Who could do that in nine months? Superman? Thor? Mitch McConnell?
Instead of waiting to see what the president is going to do, we all need to be pro-active and push the agenda that we want to see enacted. What keeps us from forming the same local groups we put together to get out the vote last November? C'mon! We're the majority now -- the majority by a significant margin! We call the shots -- and we need to tell this wimpy Congress to get busy and do what we say -- or else.
All I ask of those who voted for Obama is to not pile on him too quickly. Yes, make your voice heard (his phone number is 202-456-1414). But don't abandon the best hope we've had in our lifetime for change. And for God's sake, don't head to bummerville if he says or does something we don't like. Do you ever see Republicans behave that way? I mean, the Right had 20 years of Republican presidents and they still couldn't get prayer in the public schools, or outlaw abortion, or initiate a flat tax or put our Social Security into the stock market. They did a lot of damage, no doubt about that, but on the key issues that the Christian Right fought for, they came up nearly empty handed. No wonder they've been driven crazy lately. They'll never have it as good again as they've had it since Reagan took office.
But -- do you ever see them looking all gloomy and defeated? No! They keep on fighting! Every day. Our side? At the first sign of wavering, we just pack up our toys and go home.
So, at least for this weekend, let us celebrate what people elsewhere are celebrating -- that America now has a sane and smart man in the White House, a man who truly wants a world at peace for his two daughters.
Many, for the past couple days (yes, myself included), have grumbled, "What has he done to earn this prize?" How 'bout this:
The simple fact that he was elected was reason enough for him to be the recipient of this year's Nobel Peace Prize.
Because on that day the murderous actions of the Bush/Cheney years were totally and thoroughly rebuked. One man -- a man who opposed the War in Iraq from the beginning -- offered to end the insanity. The world has stood by in utter horror for the past eight years as they watched the descendants of Washington, Lincoln and Jefferson light the fuse of our own self-destruction. We flipped off the nations on this planet by abandoning Kyoto and then proceeded to melt eight more years worth of the polar ice caps. We invaded two nations that didn't attack us, failed to find the real terrorists and, in effect, ignited our own wave of terror. People all over the world wondered if we had gone mad.
And if all that wasn't enough, the outgoing Joker presided over the worst global financial collapse since the Great Depression.
So, yeah, at precisely 11:00pm ET on November 4, 2008, Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. And the 66 million people who voted for him won it, too. By the time he took the stage at midnight ET in the Grant Park Historic Hippie Battlefield in downtown Chicago, billions of people around the globe were already breathing a huge sigh of relief. It was as if, in that instant, one man did bring the promise of peace to the world -- and most were ready to go wherever he wanted to go to achieve that end. Never before had the election of one man made every other nation feel like they had won, too. When you've got billions of people ready, willing and able to join a cause like this, well, a prize in Oslo is the least that you deserve.
One other thought. The Peace Prize historically has been given to those who have worked to throw off the yoke of racial discrimination and segregation (Martin Luther King, Jr., Desmond Tutu). I think the Nobel committee, in awarding Obama the prize, was also rewarding the fact that something profound had happened in a nation that was founded on racial genocide, built on racist slavery, and held back for a hundred-plus years by vestiges of hateful bigotry (which can still be found on display at teabagger rallies and daily talk radio).
The fact that this one man could cause this seismic historical event to occur -- and to do so with such grace and humility, never succumbing to the bait, but still not backing down (yes, he asked to be sworn in as "Barack Hussein Obama"!) -- is more than reason enough he should be in Oslo to meet the King on December 10. Maybe he could take us along with him. 'Cause I also suspect the Nobel committee was tipping its hat to all of us -- we, the American people, had conquered some of our racism and did the truly unexpected. After seeing searing images of our black fellow citizens left to drown in New Orleans -- and poor whites seeing their own treated no better than the black man they had been raised to hate -- we had all seen enough. It was time for change.
Thank you, Barack Obama, for giving us the opportunity to redeem ourselves. Now for the tasks ahead. We need you to do all that you promised to do. We need it. The world needs it.
My prediction for the future? You become the first *two-time* winner of the Nobel Peace Prize! Yeah!
Fred (that's Norwegian for "Peace"),
Michael Moore

first a cyclist, next an innocent old woman! will SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THEM??

2009-10-06T08:35:00.004-05:00

[attack suspect]

Woman seriously injured after attack by 5 raccoons

By Audrea Huff
3:59 p.m. EDT, October 4, 2009
Polk County Animal Control is warning Lakeland residents to be on the lookout for raccoons after a 74-year-old woman was mauled by several of the animals Saturday night, the sheriff's office said.Gretchen Witted of Waterford Drive in Lakeland suffered severe injuries after being attacked by five raccoons yesterday.Polk authorities are currently looking for the raccoons. Meanwhile, automated phone calls and alerts have been sent to residents in neighborhoods around where the attack occurred.
[attack suspect--maintain a safe distance]

[a raccoon gang meeting]

[a raccoon gang chieftain]

[ the most dangerous of all known raccoon varieties--the cougar raccoon.]

tour of mi$$ouri economic impact report--2009

2009-10-01T12:24:00.001-05:00

Lt. Governor Kinder Presents 2009 Tour of Missouri Economic Impact Study
Third annual race proves to be most successful
BRANSON, MO - October 1st, 2009 - Lt. Governor Peter Kinder, chairman of the Missouri Tourism Commission and Tour of Missouri, Inc., presented economic impact results from the 2009 Tour of Missouri during a meeting of the Missouri Tourism Commission today in Branson.
"The 2009 Tour of Missouri was met with tremendous support all across our state and I am proud to report that the numbers prove the same," said Lt. Governor Kinder. "Over 4,000 volunteers worked tirelessly to showcase Missouri across the globe as a world-class tourist destination. We were blessed with great weather through the entire week and, even though we visited smaller towns on this year's revised route, spectators from all across the world helped us surpass last year's success to once again make the Tour of Missouri the largest sporting event ever held in our state."
Throughout the week, 500,000 spectators were estimated to have watched the race at one of the 11 host cities or somewhere along the 600 mile route which passed through many communities in Missouri. In 2008, an estimated 434,000 spectators saw the Tour at some time during the seven stages. In 2007, there were nearly 368,000 spectators who watched the race.
The total economic impact by spectators during the seven-day event was $38.1 million, that's up from $29.8 million in 2008 and $26.2 million in 2007.
"This year's race was a huge success thanks to the tremendous efforts of each of our host cities, corporate sponsors, Missouri State Highway Patrol, Missouri Department of Transportation and spectators from across the world," Lt. Governor Kinder said. "I am very pleased that for the state's investment of $1.5 million in the Tour of Missouri, we were able to return over $38 million to communities in our state."
During the course of the seven day event, the average out-of-state visitor spent over $220 per day during their visit. In planning their trip, 83% of non-Missourians said the Tour of Missouri was the reason they came to spend time in Missouri. The average out-of-state visitor spent more than four days in the Show-Me State.
The Tour of Missouri also showcases Missouri to a global audience via live coverage on the Internet and on television.
This year, the Tour's official website, www.tourofmissouri.com, received hits from visitors in 153 countries and territories. An estimated audience of 5.6 million people watched nightly highlight shows on the Versus television network and an estimated 1.4 million people watched highlight shows on Fox Sports Midwest and Fox Sports Kansas City.
Following the 2008 Tour of Missouri, the International Cycling Union, the sanctioning body for professional cycling, raised the ranking of the Tour of Missouri to a prestigious 2.HC ranking, making the event one of the top five races outside of Europe. The increased international appeal helped attract seven pro tour teams who competed just weeks before in the Tour de France.
The 2009 Tour of Missouri economic impact study was conducted by IFM Sports, an international leader in sports marketing and research. IFM is a global company based in Germany with American operations based in St. Louis, MO.
IFM Sports conducted the economic impact study for the 2008 Tour of Missouri. They have also provided similar reports for groups such as: Major League Baseball (MLB), the International Cycling Union (UCI), the International Tennis Federation and the National Basketball Association (NBA), among many other professional sporting organizations.
At today's Missouri Tourism Commission meeting in Branson, Lt. Governor Kinder pledged his support for a 2010 race and urged fellow commissioners to also support bringing the event back for a fourth year.
Contact: Gary McElyea

573-751-1088

Gary.McElyea@ltgov.mo.gov

from the orphanage mailbox

2009-09-24T11:10:00.001-05:00

I went for a ride this past Saturday with some members of “The Guilty Party”. As we crossed County Home Road and continued north of town we came upon a carcass lying in the middle of the lane we were in. Given the size I thought it might be a pig but drawing closer one could see it was a well kept Weimaraner. The blood from the fatal injuries was red and raw against the pavement, indicating the dog had been hit and left recently. Among the group sadness was felt and expressed. Personally having the good fortune of being owned by dogs I have felt troubled for the past several days by seeing this dog, obviously someone’s pet, left to die alone in the road.

A couple of days prior we had another hit and run in the same area. This time the hit and run involved a cyclist, Joey Richey, an acquaintance who had just completed Ironman Canada. As he was riding he was struck from behind and the driver of the vehicle left him in the ditch. Fortunately passer-bys helped him and after receiving treatment for a broken shoulder and lacerations he will soon be shopping for a new helmet, repairing his bike and able to train and race again.

I find this callous attitude towards living beings appalling. Thoughts from great thinkers continue to circulate in my mind, the first from Mahatama Gandhi, “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated” and the second from Thomas Edison, “Until we stop harming all living beings, we are still savages”.

Like Joey, I offer the person striking and leaving him the benefit of doubt; in that perhaps this individual was somehow unaware they struck another living being with their vehicle. While I don’t drive as much as I used to I think of the sound a butterfly makes as it hits the windshield of a car and how the sound snaps me back to awareness.

And I muse…how can an individual be so ‘asleep at the wheel’, detached from their awareness that the act of hitting a dog whose weight approached 90 pounds or striking a cyclist hard enough to split their helmet and send them to the hospital for several days does not snap one back to awareness, compassion and most importantly, right action?

In his address to the 2005 graduating class of Kenyon University David Foster Wallace touches on this detachment and of the members of our society who choose to operate on a default setting, detached from awareness, not only at the expense of themselves but at the expense of others as well.

From personal experience I realize we far too often speed along in our lives, unknowingly frustrated and frightened by the choices we have made, detached from and unaware of everything outside of, as Foster Wallace puts it, “our tiny skull sized kingdoms”. Driving, struggling with the cell phone, ketchup is spilled onto Dockers from another tasteless ‘eat and run’ McMeal as the race is on to make another meeting or commitment and then…a sound snaps one awake, returning one to awareness, sometimes sadly at the expense of another living being.

In closing I offer the quote from Roman philosopher Seneca, “Wherever there is a human being there is an opportunity for kindness”. There are times I find this practice is difficult but I have come to find when the practice of genuine and authentic kindness is shown first to ourselves we are released from the chains of frustration and fear binding and harming us, allowing the cultivation of wakefulness and awareness leading to opportun ities to share kindness and compassion with other living, sentient beings.

The Pitbull

from my "mysterious ways" file

2009-09-22T09:13:00.002-05:00

to quote my televangelist brothers and sisters, i truly AM blessed. so much so that i will share MY good fortune with you:

Dearest in Christ,

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am Mrs Sarah Hamson. I am married to Mr. Richard Hamson who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for many years before he died in the year 2004.We were married without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of ($2.600.000.00) Two million six hundred thousand dollar in a Bank here in Ivory Coast . Presently this money is still in the bank. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to my cancer problem.

The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a charity organization that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want an organization that will use this fund for orphanages, school and church, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained, Isaiah 56:7 for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations." The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth" I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace". I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always... I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you more information’s on how to go about the transfer of the fund into your account.

I await your soonest response with your full information, example. Your full name....................... Address....................................... Age...........................................

I will use the above information to obtain an authorization letter that will legally and officially approve you as the new beneficiary of this fund from the Federal Ministry of Justice Cote d'Ivoire . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply with the above information.
Remain blessed in the Lord
Take care, Yours Sister in Christ
Mrs Sarah Hamson.

for my tea-bagging friends!

2009-09-19T00:12:00.002-05:00

The Teabagger Socialist-Free Purity Pledge
by Laura Clawson

Daily Kos readers are awesome and send awesome emails:
I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:
I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.
I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.
I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.
I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:
-Social Security
-Medicare/Medicaid
-State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
-Police, Fire, and Emergency Services
-US Postal Service
-Roads and Highways
-Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
-The US Railway System
-Public Subways and Metro Systems
-Public Bus and Lightrail Systems
-Rest Areas on Highways
-Sidewalks
-All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)
-Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)
-Public and State Universities and Colleges
-Public Primary and Secondary Schools
-Sesame Street
-Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
-Public Museums
-Libraries
-Public Parks and Beaches
-State and National Parks
-Public Zoos
-Unemployment Insurance
-Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
-Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)
-Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
-Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)
-Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking
-Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That
-The Grand Canyon
-The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials
-The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery
-All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC
I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.
I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.
I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.
I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.
Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.
Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.
SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR ___.
_____________ _________________________
Signed Printed Name/Town and State

another friend's life comes to an end

2009-09-16T13:27:00.005-05:00

i received an email from a high school classmate late last night; the subject line read simply "craig settle."

i immediately knew the nature and purpose of the email. the only uncertainty was the "how" of craig's death; the inevitability of it was not in question, however.

craig and i were good buds in high school, although we really came about it in backwards kind of way. he was an outstanding athlete; i was a little smart ass who went out for sports because i wanted to hang out with my friends, and that's where they were after school, evenings, and many weekends. they were jocks; i usually handed out towels.

we bonded during junior high football and track, despite the fact that he played basketball and i wrestled. we clicked when it came to music and other "cultural activities" of the day [late 60s and early 70s; you figure it out]. i taught craig how to tie dye for example, and the first thing he did that turned out well was his football practice jersey.

i also taught him how to grow his hair long and get kicked out of school as a result.

i mentored him in civil disobedience. we were both early and young fathers, and had that in common, too. craig had a very cool early camero, a VERY hot street machine. i enjoyed it vicariously. when he joined the "sons of silence motorcycle gang," i had no such similar affiliation, thankfully. as a "son," he became "wish-bone" to his peers. i was always "kim" and he remained "craig" to me. his fellow members looked aghast, but he never once commented on it to me. we retained a quiet mutual respect for one another.

i can only imagine that his death was a complication of some unpleasant, drug-related cause. that matters not to me. that others may strongly disapprove of his lifestyle and his activities also matters not to me.

what matters to me is that a man--a friend--who meant much to me during my early, formative years has died, and that i no longer have the opportunity of running into him at completely unexpected times, as we often did.

i'll miss those chances to catch up.

the rest of the shit? it doesn't matter to me.

.....

Craig Richard “Wishbone” Settle, 56, of Nevada, died Tuesday, Sept. 15, 2009, at Mary Greeley Medical Center in Ames. Memorial services will be at 10:30 a.m. Friday, Sept. 18, at Memorial Lutheran Church, 701 11th St., in Nevada, with Pastor David R. Burling officiating. Burial will follow in Nevada Municipal Cemetery. The family will receive friends from 5 to 7 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 17, at Chet Ryan Mortuary, 708 Fifth St., in Nevada. Craig was born June 5, 1953, in Nevada, to Richard W. and Laura I. (Michaelson) Settle. He was a 1971 graduate of Nevada High School. He was employed with Mid-States Millwright Builders. On Oct. 31, 2003, he married Virginia “Ginny” Eyanson in Ames. He is survived by his wife, Ginny, of Nevada; one son, Chad (Amy) Settle, of Ames; his father and stepmother, Dick and Cindy Settle, of Nevada; one grandson, Devin Settle; two brothers, Mark (Judi) Settle, of Olathe, Kan., and Steve (Kelly) Settle, of Ankeny; one sister, Tracy Lewis, of Washington Township, Mich.; two stepchildren, Vicki Schadt, of Ames, and Chuck Schadt, of Nevada; mother-in-law, Karen Holder, and father-in law, Glen (Gloria) Eyanson, all of Nevada; three step-grandchildren, Haley Halladay, Hallee Schadt and Heavann Schadt; three stepbrothers and sisters, Nico, Vanessa, Boyd and their spouses; and several nieces and nephews. He was preceded in death by his mother, Laura Settle on April 17, 2001. A memorial fund has been established.

the uselessness of the iowa bike coalition

2009-09-16T12:24:00.002-05:00

mark wyatt, shown here in a rare moment when he is NOT riding his bicycle in a bike lane somewhere in iowa, advocating LOUDLY on behalf of all bicyclists, or at least on behalf of motorists who encounter bicyclists.

we CAN be so annoying sometimes, can't we mark. i guess we ought to just shut up and let YOU do job 1: fund-raising.

paging mark wyatt! there's a crisis here on the iowa ROADWAYS!!! and a 3' law would NOT have saved mark grgurich.

BUT STRICT ENFORCEMENT WOULD ACT AS A DETERRENT.

why don't you try to do something that WILL help bicyclists?

. . . .

like the requirement that "ALL motorists in iowa, upon reaching their 70 birthday, SHALL be tested for both vision AND driving skills ANNUALLY before obtaining or renewing their driver's license."

.....

any comments?

i want to share some great music to ward off the inevitable sadness of today

2009-09-04T07:00:00.003-05:00

REPORT THIS TRUCK TO WARREN COUNTY SHERIFF

2009-09-03T16:50:00.001-05:00

click to enlarge photo

this may be the truck that struck and killed mark grgurich last sunday near cumming on county road G-14.

tour of missouri - FREE STUFF & INTERVIEW IDEAS

2009-09-03T15:08:00.005-05:00

i'm heading to missouri this weekend for the duration for my radio show. i want some input from you, my listeners.
who do YOU want to hear from?
at the top of my list, of course, are jason mccartney and tom zirbel. but who else? are there riders from the mid-west or some other part of the country who deserve to get some air time? are there somereally cool stories out there that you want to know more about?
contact me with story ideas at
eeastonwest@aol.com or
kimwest@kxno.com or
515.669.8318

by the way, have you registered to win some really sweet prizes? the tour of missouri has, once again, has given us all sorts of great stuff, and all you have to do is REGISTER.
here's what you might win:
--cannondale quick 6 bicycle [$500 value, a quick conversion to a nice cyclo cross bike]
--yakima double down 4 rear hitch bicycle race [$350 value]
--mavic road shoes and pedals [$300 value]
--bissell "healthy home" vacuum [$250 value]
--tour of missouri replica leaders jersey [$100 value--but i'll try to get it autographed!]
here's how you enter:
1--go to my "personality pages" at my radio website: http://kxno.com/pages/kimwest.html
2--click on the "tour of missouri" link
3--enter your email address
and then sit back, enjoy the tour of missouri [i'm going to have LIVE daily updates on one of the clear channel FM stations--can you believe they haven't told me which one yet?], and watch for some amzing in-depth interviews. hopefully, the ones you want!
so email or call me, and if you're at the races, get in touch with me, and buy me a drink!

you say you've got funk in your face?

2009-08-26T21:13:00.000-05:00

here's your solution...

think about this while you ride YOUR fixie, boys & girls

2009-08-25T21:56:00.001-05:00

steve schurtz, in the case i call "it's knot my line"

2009-08-24T10:32:00.007-05:00

i just received a quick note from pal and race promoter tim putnam about another long-time buddy from my days in mason city, steve schurtz.
tim says:
"Steve had a freak accident this past Sat night. He was getting off his sailboat and the safety line caught between his sandal and foot. As he was stretched out getting on the dock the boat moved causing Steve to lose his balance, twisting his leg and resulting in a break of his lower tibia and fibia, a couple of inches above his ankle. He is scheduled for surgery this Friday.
He is in room 578 at Mercy Medical Center North Iowa and and may be dismissed tomorrow until his surgery on Friday.
Steve is in good spirits now and will have a long road to recovery before he will be able to complete in another Triathlon.
Please wish Steve well.

mail best wishes to:

steve schurtz

318 Meadow Lane

Mason City, IA 50401

from the mailbag: ULTRA light bottle cages

2009-08-22T10:30:00.002-05:00

a long-time reader writes, to share some of the latest, state-of-the-art discussions from his area's techno-weenie e-list. today's topic [or "thread" in today's youthful parlance]: light-weight water bottle cages.

friday, august 21, 2009, 6:22:55 pm: "Does anyone have carbon bottle cages they'd like to sell me?" -Ryan Serbel

friday, august 21, 2009, 17:11:31 "I don't have any because I am not a big fan of them since they don't seem to last, especially with full bottles on rough roads. I use the tracx cages the hold the bottles securely even on rough roads." -andreas

saturday, august 22, 2009, 8:00 am "I second that thought - King Ti bottle cages are the only way to go - totally secure and lightweight. I've seen a few bottles bounce out of carbon cages in races this year." -Terry

august 22, 2009 " The most secure carbon cage I have seen and used are the arundle carbon cages. They are good enough for mtb. I do use the ALuminium Gt40 cages from Cannondale on my race bike. They are light, look good, adjustable (flex them in for a tighter fit), and 10 dollars. The "it's all about performance video" does not give answer to the water bottle cage issue directly. But is does talk about other carbon parts. And it is all about 'performance'. -Jeff

august 22, 2009, 10:13:58 "It is my understanding that Walmart makes some pretty nice carpet-fiber cages. i think you guys would like them. they are found right between the training bras and the depends. and then there is always the impromptu bottle strapping method. [see below]

or for the super domestique... [see below] note that even the security device on the handle did not deter these performance driven boys. this is also a good option if you are short on cashola.

keep those cards and letters coming, folks!

a STATE FAIR marathon tonight!!

2009-08-21T20:58:00.002-05:00

i couldn't make it to the state fair tonight, so i'm doing the next best thing: it's a "state fair" movie marathon right here at the orphanage. that's right, i was digging through the vast orphanage movie archives [looking for the joe e. brown cycling classic, "6 day racer"--found it, too, right next to the frank zappa cinematic marvel, 200 motels], when i realized that right there in the middle of my "iowa heritage" wing was the makings of a great evening of adult entertainment--iowa style! beginning with the original version of the phil stong story starring will rogers and janet gaynor, i'll throw back as many "beers on a stick" as i can until i have to get up and switch reels to the 1945 version, which featured dana andrews and jeanne crain in a much darker version of the story of life and love on the midway. then, to cap the evening, i'll screen the hilarious 1962 re-re-make starring two of my favorite crooners and matinee idols, pat boone and bobby darrin. this version REALLY put a new spin on the old story line.

if i haven't run out of popcorn by the conclusion of this third film--a real laugh fest, believe me--i'll watch "6 day racer"--which showcases joe e. brown's amazing fixed gear riding prowess. he does his own riding in this gem. cycling is what launched brown's career, you know, as his entree to vaudeville was on two wheels. the guy really was quite a character, and the final event in the six-day features some of the most amazing feats of bike handling you'll ever see--x-games or not.

gotta run--the jiffy pop is jumpin' in the kitchen!

the sun is shining a little [lot] brighter today

2009-08-18T12:18:00.002-05:00

just this morning, a friend told me that her mother always said "if you can't say something nice about someone, then shut up." or something like that. well, i'm not about to pass on the death of robert novak, one of the most evil people ever to have a talk show on television. but in honor of my friend's mom, i'll say this about bob novak, who was known as the "prince of darkness"-- upon his death, the world is a brighter, nicer place.

robert novak, here shown stalking off the set of his "point-counterpoint"-type show with james carville, after he got pissed about something or other. novak's nadir as a straight-shooting journalist came when he outed valerie plume as an undercover agent for the cia, a well-documented fact that he steadyfastly danced around.

a clash of cultures, & a clash of understanding

2009-08-14T17:18:00.002-05:00

i was sent a link to a quite interesting piece from sports illustrated.
to read it, click here. it's long, but it's a pretty damned good read.

the world is a better place because of les paul

2009-08-13T13:10:00.003-05:00

i've been saying for years that cycling makes me feel better. here's why!

2009-07-30T21:34:00.002-05:00

"A Berlin brothel has come up with a novel way to offset the impact of the global economic crisis and target a new group of customers at the same time - offering a discount to patrons who arrive on bicycles. "The recession has hit our industry hard," said Thomas Goetz, owner of the Maison d'envie brothel.
"Obviously we hope that the discount will attract more people," he added. "It's good for business, it's good for the environment - and it's good for the girls." Customers who arrive on bicycle or who can prove they took public transportation get a €5 ($7) discount from the usual €70 ($100) fee for 45 minute sessions, Mr Goetz said. He said the environmentally friendly offer was working a charm.

"We have around 3-5 new customers coming in daily to take advantage of the discount," he said, adding the green rebate has helped alleviate traffic and parking congestion in the neighbourhood. Germany is one of the few countries in the world where prostitution is legal. It has about 400,000 prostitutes who, since 2002, have been allowed to enter formal labour contracts."

is it time for biker bucks?

2009-07-28T11:30:00.004-05:00

pedalgrl, the kim west radio cycling show's northeast iowa correspondent, tells of a small dispute brewing in her neck of the woods about where and whether bikes should be parked in a business district. read here for details: http://pedalgrl.blogspot.com/2009/07/thoughts.html

. . . . .

my initial reaction was to purchase a rubber stamp that reads "biker bucks" and stamp all your paper currency. let the business people know the power of two legs in a language they understand.

thoughts?

at des moines stamp company, an old-fashioned one that requires an ink pad is $8. $25.90 will get you a perma-inked stamper. i am told that if you spend $50, you get 10% off; spend $100, get 15% off; $150, 20% off.

NOW any thoughts?

i can take orders for biker bucks stamps in the comments section.

finally- a reason to wear a helmet?

2009-07-28T10:58:00.002-05:00

i hear it all the time:

"where's your helmet?" [said by a highway patrolman in an intersection]

"hey, organ donor, do you know where i can find a bar?" [said by a guy--one of many--wearing stars & stripes-styled jerseys as we roll into a small town]

"hey, wear a helmet! you're breaking all the rules & laws of ragbrai!" [said by a guy in full-aero tuck on his tri-style bike, as we safely pass him on his left. he chased me down after i cupped my ear and said "what" three times to chew my ass.]

"you're setting a bad example" [a fat man on a bike as i rode by]

.....

but there might be a reason to pull the old giro out of the zippered case and slip it on the noggin: the much misunderstood firefighter on a sunday morning in asheville, north carolina, on a crusade to keep young children safe.

did anyone get the make and model of the cyclist's helmet?

read here for more.

the ride to ragby, day one

2009-07-18T01:59:00.002-05:00

large groups of bicyclists descend upon the atlantic super 8

recipe for a good day
ingredients:
--five friends
--80 miles
--five bicycles
mix liberally
add:
--80 miles of headwinds
--three miles gravel
--2 pinch flats [to ME, of all things!]
--free beer from the baggers at the east end of the white pole road
[we just crossed over i-80 west of earlham and
we saw 25 to 30 assorted loaded bikes and cyclists
cheering as we approached. i asked "did i hear free beer?" and it was on.]
--2 smoking rooms at the super 8 in atlantic
--2 large casey's pizza
--3 six-packs of beer [including guinness]
--assorted sweet things from a bakery
--versus tour coverage
--20 extra miles to roll it up to an even 100 for the day
shape five sleepy cyclists into four large beds,
and let rest overnight
--let the old guy wake up at 130 to go to the lobby to blog
--get up at 600 am for the free breakfast buffet
--add 3 1/2 to 4 hours live tour
--set out for 50 damned hilly miles of riding to council bluffs
and hope like hell the wind has changed!!
.....
life is good . . .

hello again

2009-07-16T08:57:00.003-05:00

[for explanation, see below]

.....

i've been problem-solving lately, this time at the american mustache institute's think tank. i can't really disclose what we've been thinking about, but it's beginning to look a lot better for the hairy lippers among us.

let's just leave it at that.

but those of you who have been asking about my health and whereabouts, thank you, and please understand that every now and again, i am called to a higher cause, and i must respond. but my heart remains here, at the orphanage.

my own personal mustache, by the way, is alive and well, and is looking forward to a little sun and relaxation over the next few days.

see you on the road.

i hope to be filing dispatches from along the way...

cheerio!

.....

by the way, since i'll be somewhat more mobile the next few days, and will be without my vast photo library, i thought i'd upload a photo that, should my posts NEED photo illustration, i'll have one at the ready. it will be up to you, my faithful readers, to imagine the more appropriate illustration. maybe you could post links in the comments section. in the meantime, you'll have to rely on mine, with a supplied caption.

it's a little quiz, of sorts, i suppose.

you can never doubt the credibility of FAUX NEWS again

2009-07-09T08:32:00.002-05:00

sing it with me: "god loves republicans..."

we answer the obvious

2009-07-08T12:08:00.003-05:00

Dear Dr. Science,

How come no matter which direction I ride my bicycle,

the wind blows against me?

--from Christopher Coughlin of Colorado Springs, CO

A: Were you born after 1950? I detect in your question a kind of "the world owes me a living" whine that's so prevalent in people of that generation. Instead of feeling gratitude for the fact that you have a bicycle, or two legs to ride it, you complain that bike riding moves you through the sea of air, producing the effect of a wind on your face. If you rode your bike in a vacuum, the troublesome wind would vanish, but the cumbersome life support system you'd have to wear to accomplish this would make a little headwind seem like a blessing.

news from inside the arctic circle

2009-07-03T14:58:00.002-05:00

first-term alaska governor and former star on the television series "rosanne" sarah chalke has announced that she will surrender her crown as "miss alaska" as soon as the end of this month, it was reported by the office of donald trump, who owns the competition which resulted in ms. chalke winning the title two years ago. ms. chalke immediate plans are unknown at this time, although she previously indicated she would like "to work to preserve the institution of marriage" and "see russia."

she has also told close advisors that she really enjoys reading newspapers, and is becoming quite proficient at sodoku, a numbers game.

reason prevails in france, zirbel prevails in fitchberg, chaos prevails in kazakhstan

2009-07-03T08:25:00.003-05:00

the score on friday:

tour organizers--1

tour competition--1

tour fans--1

fantasy league players--1

.....

the classic "everyone wins" scenario. well, there might be some bruised and battered egos here and there, mais que sera sera, oui?

.....

and elsewhere...

local hero tom zirbel is at it again, this time with a 23-second lead after a wet 14.3 km time trial in the four-day race. this follows his starring role as the ultimately heart-broken leader of the nature valley grand prix. hopefully, tom won't be reprising this role, but with FOUR kelley benefits riders filling out the top-5 after stage 1, and with sprint bonuses abundant, it's going to be a real team effort, whatever the outcome.

best of luck to tom and all my friends at the bissell pro cycling team; likewise, good luck to my friends at kelley benefits, too. i love cycling like this.

.....

will it be a bloodless coup at astana? has the lance contingent already been woken up and told to go the the airport, honduran-style? in an international replay of the locally-famous "loyalty ploy," soon-to-be born-again speedster and drug fan alexander vinokourov has announced that he is prepared to regain control of his baby, and is fit to be a good daddy once again. and he has the love, money, and support of the kazakh minister of everything relevant.

i DO enjoy the man's cycling style; it's not surprising that his social and business skills in of the same vein.

next year's gonna be interesting, clearly.

pssst! c'mere; i've got a deal for you...

2009-07-02T07:40:00.002-05:00

when i stumble upon something really fantastic, my first instinct is to share my good fortune with others. i can't help it; it's what makes me a democrat, among other things.
so when i found this in my in-box--NOT in my spam filter--i immediately knew what i HAD to do.
and here it is.
i'm sharing this with you essentially as i was given it; glean from it what you will. i can't tell you what to do ["you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it order it with a slice of lime."]

. . . . .
When God wants something done, He always gives it to ONE PERSON to do—a Moses, a Peter, a Paul, a David, a Gideon, a Mary. Had you noticed?
In Pray and Be Rich, Dr. Richard Gaylord Briley reveals a startling Biblical truth that has great implications for your life:
One person, committed to a goal, is all God needs to change the world.
He’s done it many times. And if history turns many more pages, He’ll surely do it again. At the very least, you and God together can change your world.
The new audio program – Pray and Be Rich – is about one person—YOU—and the success plans that God has for all who believe, pray and act on the message of the Bible.
To start, to get the most from this sensational audio program and find daring faith to act upon your God-given potential for success, you must already believe that:
The Bible is more than humanity’s oldest book of living wisdom—though it is at least that.
Life has meaning and purpose.
Your life has a special purpose, even if that purpose and a plan to achieve it are not yet clear to you.
In Pray and Be Rich, Dr. Briley unlocks the Bible’s secrets about wealth, its use and abuse.
It astonishes many that Jesus spoke more about wise use of our possessions (our wealth) than any other subject. Riches are extensions of whatever we make of ourselves. Wealth is extra power to use for good or evil.
All babies are born poor. But as you’ll find out in Pray and Be Rich, five percent of them, in free societies, grow up to be richer than the rest.
This widely-ignored fact gives extra hope for success to anyone with a clear goal in life.
Pray and Be Rich reveals the Biblical secrets that will enable you to become a member of the five percent of people who rise to the top and succeed.
About Dr. Briley – creator of Pray and Be Rich
Richard Gaylord Briley is a protégé of both Arthur S. DeMoss, the billionaire philanthropist, and Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking, with whom he worked 18 years.
In Pray and Be Rich, Dr. Briley reveals the secrets he learned from Peale and DeMoss – both of whom used Biblical secrets to become great successes.
In Pray and Be Rich, Briley reveals how to apply purposeful faith and “seven spiritual secrets of success” (hidden in plain view in the Bible) to reach life-enhancing goals.
Thousands say this program has helped to put them on their path to success.
While learning what’s in this book, Dr. Briley raised over two billion dollars for religious and charitable causes, started two medical research foundations and found true success to be spiritually based.
He says, “My major life purpose to help people solidify vague dreams into measured, reachable goals.” In fact, God wants his believers to be a success!

Audio Tapes: 4 tape sethttp://shop.newsmax.com/shop/index.cfm?page=products&productid=134?s=al&promo_code=8250-1

the really groovy thing is that this book--which really DOES contain the bible's heretofore unrevealed "7 secrets of success"--isn't all that you get for just $9.95 [you read THAT right--down from the regular retail price of $49.95. you ALSO get "the deck of reagan." read below for just a sample of the wit and wisdom you can learn from playing solitaire--or go fish--with the deck of reagan.

go forth and be successful--or rich, whichever comes first.

and tell me about it...

from the mailbag

2009-06-27T05:22:00.002-05:00

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness -- actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick ####### freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always. . .
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

my tribute to an amazing musician, no matter how weird he was

2009-06-25T17:56:00.001-05:00

i love republicans, but who doesn't?

2009-06-25T07:06:00.003-05:00

the grand old party now seen in a new light, giving new life to one of my favorite words, "dalliance."

who's your favorite blue-blooded love machine?

ensign? foley? captain wide-stance? gingrich? rudy?

ah, yes, "love, american style" . . .

family values . . .

preserving the sanctity of marriage . . .

seriously, i'm loving this stuff.

in happier times: a man and his dog

2009-06-25T06:02:00.002-05:00

in an easier, less stressful time, then-lieutenant george armstrong custer reclines with his dog and with other staff members of general fitz-john porter, during the civil war in virginia, the peninsular campaign, may through august, 1862. on this day, june 25, 1876, general custer met his demise at the battle of the little big horn.
by the time he made his stars, custer, as a general, had polished his image.
no word on the fate of his dog.

rain? WHAT rain?

2009-06-23T21:26:00.003-05:00

i don't know what YOU did tonight, but for me, when mickey's hands look like he's blocking a free kick, i know it's time to ride. i pay no attention to the skies, and i DON'T set my shit up in a garage.

garages and rainy days are for sissies,

not bike racers.

i won't hear it. ever.

i laugh at the rain: ha ha ha ha!

no, i've got too many big competitions ahead of me, and my program says

"june 23--go out and kick some serious ass today."

so i did. computers never lie.

read 'em and weep, sport fans.

and then, buy yourself some golf clubs on craig's list.

i train with racers; not quitters.

they've changed the name of the state

2009-06-23T19:56:00.002-05:00

ROWA

[Republicans Out Wandering About]
* * * * *

read THIS tasty little tidbit about a prospective republican presidential candidate in 2012; he's right up there with sarah palin!

* * * * *

Sources Question Governor's Story
Gov. Mark Sanford Says He Disappeared To Go Hiking
POSTED: 5:01 pm EDT June 23, 2009
GREENVILLE, S.C. -- WYFF News 4 has received exclusive information from sources who say they have information about Gov. Mark Sanford's whereabouts during a mysterious absence over the past several days.
Sanford's wife Jenny said she last talked to him on Thursday, and though she didn't know where he is, she said she wasn't concerned. She said he had left to have time to write.
Joel Sawyer, communications director for the governor's office, then said the governor had been on the Appalachian Trail. Sawyer said staffers heard from Sanford on Tuesday morning and the governor plans to return Wednesday.
Sawyer said the governor is surprised by all the attention.
On Tuesday, sources told News 4's Nigel Robertson that a state vehicle is missing and was tracked down, not to the Appalachian Trail, but to the Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta.
Sources told Robertson that a federal agent spotted Sanford in the airport boarding a plane. Robertson was told that the governor was not accompanied by security detail.
Sanford has been out of reach for more than four days, including Father's Day.
Sawyer has emphasized that the governor was hiking on the Appalachian Trail and that it wasn't something the staff or Jenny Sanford were concerned about.
But sources told WYFF News 4 that the federal agent who spotted Sanford saw him at the Atlanta airport, which is about 80 miles from the start of the trail.
WYFF News 4 has not yet confirmed where the plane was going or how the governor got to the airport, but it is clear there are two very different stories.
News 4 called the governor's office, and was told again by staffers that they stand by their original statement that the governor is hiking the Appalachian Trail. They did not want to comment on this story.
Previous Stories:
June 23, 2009: Missing Governor 'Taken Aback' By Attention

i LOVE this stuff. don't have to make up the good news, do ya?

analog update

2009-06-19T10:42:00.003-05:00

one week later, and i'm still without a digital converter box.

i received my government-issued $40 coupons [i got two] saturday or monday. they are lying about like an un-opened pack of smokes, tempting me. i have not touched them, nor caressed them, but i've thought about both. they're so damned shiny and digital-looking.

i folded up [although did not remove] the rabbit ears and old vhf round antenna. i hooked up the vcr and dug out collected tapes of 2002 giro, and have been watching that. phil, paul, bobke, and the characters from that distance past. my dvd player continues to remain unused since its purchase several years ago. i've thought about moving it from the living room to the bedroom where my surviving tv resides. i have many dvds, including a derek trucks concert and a new 3-disc woodstock collection. i would like ot watch them at some point.

i AM having trouble knowing what the weather is and what it will be doing, but i understand that it is going to get hot and humid one of these days.

i read at huffiingtonpost.com that walter cornkite is gravely ill. this digital thing is probably killing him.

and that's the way it is...

al franken update: coleman on coleman

2009-06-19T10:36:00.002-05:00

many readers have asked me, "mostly reverend, what in the world is wrong with norm coleman?"

for the sake of brevity and my battery's uncertain capacity, i won't go into that. but i will supply this link to a wonderful op-ed by nick coleman, no relation to either me or the former senator, that ran in the strib june 14th. read it, and you'll see that not everyone in minnesota is crazy, but that most minnesotans know someone who is...

is des moines REALLY bike friendly?

2009-06-18T15:28:00.002-05:00

then let's see how long it takes the city to enact THIS ordinance...

Bicyclist Harassment Ordinance Passed
18 Jun 09
COLUMBIA, MO—A city of 84,000 people in Missouri has passed a bicyclist harassment ordinance making the throwing of objects, verbal assault and other offenses illegal, and a misdemeanor offense punishable by a $1,000 fine or one year of jail time.
The Columbia ordinance, which is modeled after similar ordinances in South Carolina and Colorado, makes it a misdemeanor to do the following: throw an object at or in the direction of a cyclist, threatening a cyclist to frighten or disturb the cyclist, sounding a horn with the intention to frighten or disturb a cyclist, knowingly placing a cyclist in the path of physical injury, or knowingly engaging in conduct that creates a risk of death or serious physical injury for a cyclist.

thought for the day: catching up

2009-06-18T09:11:00.003-05:00

so i'm spending a few days in a continuing ed seminar this week. i'm seeing folks from an earlier life, and it's good. people that i first met and worked with way back in the day of early cambus in iowa city in the early 70s, when tom diehl and i [along with many others] drove a bunch of 1953 or so gmc transit buses in and around iowa city. these buses--in true hippie fashion--had faces painted on their front ends. they had virtually NO safety features, you know, like brakes and stuff. you could catch passengers in the back door if you were feeling sinister. no seatbelts for the driver, which made it a real challenge staying seated as you cruised around the downhill by the dental school. WHEEE!!!

tom tells me he finally quit smoking about a year and a half ago. then there's frank rivera, who surprised the hell out of me when he told me--years ago--that he was a big harley fan, and had a hog that although he really didn't ride it that much, he spent a lot of time and money on it. his bike was more of a show thing; loudness and cool were a couple of important factors, as i remember it. frank always seemed like areally quiet guy to me [i've known him for, christ, maybe 20 years now?], and this must be his way of speaking up. quite a contrast to me. i really don't seem to keep too much to myself [although you might be surprised].

and then a woman came up to me and said "you probably don't remember me, but..."

i couldn't immediately recall her name and circumstance, but i recognized her face, and knew that i knew her. it turns out we were neighbors in iowa city in the early 80s, when i was a new single parent, in school full-time, and working two or three jobs. addie and i lived in a cool old apartment building at the end of summit street, a long, low brick building with two up and two down, with a common open screened-in stairway at the rear. when i had to go to the school in the evenings to study [yes, i did], i could just leave the back door open, with addie in bed, and let the neighbors know i would be back later. addie knew that if she woke up and was frightened, she could just go upstairs and hang out a while. it was that kind of a place. before i even had a chance to say anything, vicki asked how addie was. said she was such a cool kid. man, i loved living there, and i loved having such great neighbors. it was great seeing vicki, and having all those old memories unleashed.

i saw dick, my old lawyer and george's buffet buddy from iowa city. he retired a couple years ago, and my friend peter [whom i have yet to see here] runs the office now. peter and i were so crazy in mason city in the 80s. i saw susan, also from mason. and so many more: faces i recognize but whose names have either fled or taken shelter somewhere in that old addled grey matter upstairs.

i made it easy for others yesterday by wearing a new green "kim west radio cycling show" t-shirt. today, it's a multi-hued green tye-die grateful dead t-shirt. green, in support of the unrest in iran. i've always been in favor of a certain level of unrest.

more thoughts will follow.

i AM trying to pay attention, after all.

but i have a bunch of racing coming up: tonight in altoona, tomorrow in state center, saturday, the brat criterium in johnston, and nationals in louisville the end of the month, and another set of nationals the first week of august. i'm trying to get serious about it, and have been thrilled to get lots of little go-fast goodies to enable this. i'll tell you about it later.

by the way, you, too, can have one of those cool green kim west radio cycling show t-shirts. $15 plus s/h. contact me.

edison home movies

2009-06-17T08:11:00.001-05:00

weather report

2009-06-16T16:19:00.001-05:00

NEW thursday race series!!

2009-06-16T11:13:00.002-05:00

THIS JUST IN!!!

from lane anderson:

I met with the city of Altoona monday morning and got tentative approval for a 3-race Thursday night Series in Altoona.

The series will be July 16, Aug 6, and Aug 20. There will be a Men's "A", "B", and Women's race each night. The course is an undulating 1.2 mile circuit with 4 corners and one 180 degree turn.

They are going to close the roads for us this Thursday, June 18, for a trial run. If it goes off without a hitch, they'll approve the series.

I'm hoping to get out as many folks as possible to get a true test and so we can all get a good workout in (which is my ulterior motive for doing this). We will have to have insurance coverage for this Thursday, so I will need to charge an entry. It's not usacycling so there's no "1-day license" required. All participants will pay $10/night.

Please spread the word, get as many people out as possible.

Altoona Thursday Training Series
Brought to you by ALL9Yards Realty
July 16, Aug 6, Aug 20
Stand Alone Event June 18

6:00 - Women - 15 laps
7:00 - “A” (Cat 1,2,3,4) - 20 laps
8:00 - “B” (Cat 5) - 10 laps

Course: 1.2 mile rolling circuit. 4 corners and 1 hairpin turn each lap.
Registration Opens at 5:00, closes when you are too late to pin your number
Entry: $10/rider. No one day license required
Directions: From the corner of 1st Ave and 8th St in Altoona (HyVee) go east on 8th St SE (NE 46th) to NE 80th on the East edge of town. Go south on NE 80th to the “Tuscany Development” at 17 St SE. Turn east into the development, registration and start/finish is at the corner of 17th St SE and 17th Ave SE.
Each race of the series will have merchandise prizes for the top 3 as well as possible primes during the race. Depending on participation, there may be an overall cash purse for the series.

Contact: Lane Anderson (515) 971-1761
Not a USACycling sanctioned race.
“When you choose ALL9Yards Realty, Cycling wins”

technical difficulties

2009-06-13T08:32:00.002-05:00

i am, by nature, a bit of a fuddy-duddy, as regular readers by now well know. as it relates to television, for the past few years, that has meant a return to rabbit ears. since february, i have lived without who-tv13 [i can't help it, i preferred their local news to kcci's], kdsm-fox17 [god, i love old seinfelds, and 2 and 1/2 men], and who knows what else. but since midnight, it's gone [as it, sadly, letterman and the early sunday morning original star trek episodes at 130 am on kcci...sniff].

totally gone, except for the snow, i assume, as i haven't checked yet.

i'm going to see how long this experiment lasts, which is tough, as the tour promises to be a GREAT one, and i am sorely tempted to reactivate my long-dead dish subscription for a month and then let it go.

we shall see.

my reasons are multiple, and range from purely economic, to political, social, as well as fitness-related. in a fit of picque, years ago, i bought a DVD player, and plugged it in, electrically, but not through the tv. i might just do that, and play old converted from video to dvd tour, giro and vuelta tapes for the past many, many years. i DO love cycling on tv.

but we'll see, i certainly have many other things to do other than watch tv.

let's see if i can withstand my internal pressure to cave.

wish me--and others who are also struggling--luck.

2009-06-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

Two time Tour de France champion Laurent Fignon said he can’t rule out a link between his advanced cancer and doping, according to a French TV interview to be broadcast on Sunday.
The retired winner of the Tour in 1983 and 1984, told the "7 a 8" interview program there might have been a connection between doping and the advanced cancer affecting his digestive system, even though doctors assured him this was unlikely.
Fignon, who tested positive for illegal substances twice in the late 1980s, has been diagnosed with an advanced cancer that has spread through his gastro-intestinal system and has metastasized in his pancreas as well. Fignon recorded the TV interview to publicize his forthcoming book, "We were young and unconcerned."
The book describes the life of racing cyclists in past years, including the range of stimulants and corticoids taken by riders.
"In those days everyone was doing it," he explained. "But it is impossible to know to what extent doping harms you.
"Whether those who lived through 1998, when a lot of extreme things happened, will get cancer after 10 or 20 years, I really can't say," added Fignon, who also won the 1989 Giro d'Italia and Milan-San Remo in both 1988 and 1989.

zirbel on top at nvgp!!

2009-06-10T13:56:00.001-05:00

tom has been spending his time wisely since the tour of california. let's hope the bissell pro cycling team can keep him in yellow at the nature valley grand prix.

congratulations, tom!!

things they do in colorado

2009-06-08T21:31:00.002-05:00

despite regularly messing with cyclists in group rides, the state of colorado does do some things right from time to time. take this example:

Springs woman gets 3 years in death of 2 bicyclists
By Hailey MacArthur The Gazette

COLORADO SPRINGS — Barbara Thomas, 64, was sentenced to three years in prison starting immediately in the deaths of two bicyclists, a judge ordered today.
Judge Gilbert A. Martinez convicted Thomas on two counts of vehicular homicide after she plowed into a group of bicyclists riding down the hill on S. 26th Street, killing two of them. Jayson Thomas Kilroy, 28, and Edgar "E.J." Juarez, 30, were struck and killed Aug. 6, 2008, when Thomas attempted to turn left onto Westend Avenue in her 1986 Ford F-350, a one-ton pickup truck. She was under the influence of prescription morphine and barbiturates, and she was not wearing the glasses required by her restricted license.
"When you kill two people in a reckless manner," Judge Martinez said before delivering his decision, "I don't think probation is appropriate. I don't think the max sentence is appropriate."
Thomas could have been sentenced to as many as six years under a plea bargain.
At the sentencing, Thomas, who takes 18 daily prescriptions and lugs an oxygen tank on her lap in a wheelchair, begged the judge to let her spend time at home with family before being transported to the Department of Corrections. She attempted to lift herself out of her wheelchair, pleading with the judge, who did not change his decision.
"Oh, my god," she said. "Don't take me."
Read what the mother of one of the victims said in court at Gazette.com.

suppose any of the prosecutors in central iowa read my blog?

dogtown cruiser nights!!

2009-06-03T08:03:00.002-05:00

everyone is welcome to join us for the very first dogtown area cruiser night, tonight at 600 pm at the drake farmer's market.

pamela anderson knows how it's done: hop on your cruiser [or any bike, for that matter] and come on down to 25th and university, across from the drake diner, and get ready to have some fun as we ride around the town for about 45 minutes or so. NOT FAST, just cruisin'.

tonight the ride winds up at woody's smoke shack at 2511 cottage grove, where woody will have food specials and live music, provided by the ortonville circus, a fine area bluegrass band.

and it's FREE!!

woody says if you want to drink alcohol, bring your own. the smoke shack doesn't have a liquor license, but he doesn't mind folks having fun.

these rides will happen every wednesday night, with a different route and different destination each week. we'll have live music, food and drink specials, movies, and all sorts of cool things.

make it your regular wednesday night thing.

quality family time

2009-06-02T07:47:00.005-05:00

i took the grandkids with me to the memorial day weekend of races this year. i've been going there to race and share a little fun for twenty years or more. i've enjoyed friends and their families all this time. i've always said it's my family, this cycling circle i inhabit, and it is.

so i really didn't give it a second thought when i offered to initiate the grandkids on THEIR first exposure to big-time american bicycling. the complications and realities of doing this AND racing myself would remain to be seen and experienced, but i knew it would work out somehow, and it did. and saturday morning, parked in my traditional location at the top of the snake, and my race already out of the way, i prepped the kids for THEIR first race participation. numbers pinned, i gave them final strategic instructions before we began the trek to the start line. they listened intently. for being not particularly verbal, jabari blew me away with his understanding and concentration. both kids have since before birth attended collegiate wrestling meets and tournaments, so they grasp the concept of competition--their dad is no flash in the pan on the wrestling mat, even now, years after his string of 4 all-american seasons at iowa state, he still coaches others year-round--but to see their intense focus really amazed me. i mean, nyla is just four, and jabari is only 21 months [although his RACING age was 3 for snake alley].

this photo STILL makes me laugh, as the kids have completed their warm-ups and hot laps around a street barricade, and each of them collects their thoughts in their own fashion. nyla is so girlie-girlie with her abundant hair-pretties and streamers but her "i'll rip your heart out" look" suggests otherwise. jabari is clearly engaged in his visualization routine. little did i know...

after their races, we relaxed as i always do, heckling others in the afternoon races on the snake, at devil's bend. for you cat 4s and 5s who want to be subjected to this torment, upgrade. i believe wayne and garth said it best: "you're not worthy!" the heckling NEVER begins until after noon. even the devil keeps regular hours.

as anyone who has ever raced the snake knows, it's exhausting. over the years, i gone racing with scores of different teammates and buddies, sharing rides in old vws and vans, and sleeping in beds and on floors in crowded houses and cheap hotel rooms. yet i'd trade them all for this one. i hope the grands enjoyed it as much as i did.

[thanks, maria, for this last photo]

how other folks spend their bicycle time, energy, and $$

2009-06-02T07:17:00.002-05:00

the author describes this as an ordinary bicycle with a dual-exhaust pulse jet engine bolted to the side. well, i recognize the brooks saddle and schwinn-style springer fork, and even the cateye cyclocomputer, but beyond that, . . .

well, i'd suggest you go here to read and see more.

truth in advertising

2009-05-29T05:46:00.004-05:00

fashionistas in the news!!

2009-05-28T11:00:00.004-05:00

these olive green t-shirts are the latest thing. when the beautiful people at cannes were not flashing the flesh and their pearly whites on the runways and beaches, they were seen wearing these babies.

now, you, too, can look like brangelina, shu qi, andie macdowell, and others.

in medium and large only, at this time.

$15, plus shipping.

get 'em while you can.

the red ones you can get ONLY by winning the prestigious "most aggressive rider" award at select races throughout the midwest.

kids sizes, SM, XL, and XXL will be available soon.

PENAL TOUR of IOWA

2009-05-28T09:55:00.003-05:00

COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa (kim west radio cycling news) - Close to 10,000 prisoners will cycle around Iowa next month, watched by scores of guards on bicycles, in the 37th penal version of the Tour of Iowa, authorities said Monday.
The 10,000 prisoners will cycle in a pack and breakaway sprints will not be allowed. They will be accompanied by 500 guards, prison sports instructors, and Gannett employees. There will be no ranking, the idea being to foster values like teamwork and supression of joy.
"It's a kind of escape for us, a chance to break away from the daily reality of prison," said Flava Dave, a 38-year-old prisoner in the western Illinois city of Galesburg, at the official launch of the event. His last name was not given.
"If we behave well, we might be able to get released earlier, on probation," he told reporters.
The prisoners' Tour de Iowa will take them 708 km (442 miles) around the state, starting in the western city of Council Bluffs on July 19 and stopping in 170 villages and towns, each of which has a prison. However, participants will sleep in tent cities, local shanty towns, and homeless campsites.
The finish line will be in Burlington, following Tour de Iowa tradition.
"This project aims to help these men and women reintegrate into society by fostering values like inhumane effort, teamwork and loss of self-esteem," said T.J. Juskiewicz, of the Gannett prison authorities.
"We want to show them that with some training, you can achieve your goals and start a new life, albeit a pitiful, worthless one," he said.

photos from the weekend [family stuff]

2009-05-27T10:37:00.008-05:00

the grandkids had their first taste of competition, doing the children's snake alley and melon city. in great racer tradition, i fudged jabari's "racing age"--from 22 months to 3 years--to get him in at the snake, on his strider cycle.
waiting, waiting, waiting

jabari is READY to race

nyla does hot laps to prepare

jabari's laps were not as hot, but he did MANY of them

he might not have been the first to cross the line, but he had as much fun as any of them. he did not stop at the line: jabari went another half block, and cried when i turned him around to go back

nyla, who actually DOES know the proper way to fit a helmet, was cursed and blessed with a head full of beaded "hair pretties" on her braids, so she only appears to be sporting a "marge simpson 'do" in these shots.

i'll most likely post more in the days to come, as i sort through the ones i have. they had a great time racing, although jabari was NOT pleased to be too young for sunday's and monday's events.

2009 iowa state track championships this sunday

2009-05-26T16:09:00.005-05:00

[click on photo to see more]

poor victoria would not be allowed to race like this-

-she'd have to remove her brakes and derailleurs, too.

but chances are you have a track bike hanging around somewhere.

why not toss it in the car, get some friends to go with you,

and head up to kenosha this sunday for some track racing,

iowa style [read: out of state].

here's the poop, patty:

State of Iowa Track Racing Championships,

Washington Park Velodrome,

Washington Road and 22nd Avenue,

Kenosha, Wisconsin

Sunday May 31:

9:00 am --Registration and practice begins

10:00 am --RACING begins

Open to riders from Iowa and other states

Entry fee for all classes $25 (one entry fee cover all events)

Likely events:

--200m flying start sprint

--Match Sprint

--Individual Pursuit

--Points Race

--Kilometer

Medals will be given to first three male and female riders in each category, as well as overall omnium champions.
For information contact:

Bruce Timmerman

1350 O’Hagen St,

Dubuque, IA 52001

563 557-9344 (home)563 599-3296 (cell)

timmermanbruce@netscape.net

USA Cycling Permit Applied For

Organized by Chain Reaction Cycling Club

.....

by the way, wanna carpool to kenosha? let me know, via the comments. i'll arrange a guest house saturday night for us.

it's that time of the year

2009-05-19T08:46:00.003-05:00

each may, as the flora at the orphanage comes into its own, i've taken a couple quick snaps from the same spot across the street. it's been fun watching the place evolve. the obvious things, the autumn blaze maples and the row of miss kims [the dwarf lilac bushes that define the perimeter of the estate], are difficult not to notice. but it's the subtleties of life at the orphanage that make it an interesting place. as i study the the serial [i'll post the entire collection in a few days], i notice the passing of my roommates, from spotted and deaf, to fleet and elegant. the cars i drive have been prominent some years, and they, too, are ever changing. my bicycles have been seen from year to year, and although the photos are always taken with the morning sun, i notice the variety of bikes that i've ridden prior to making my early-morning records.

here's how the orphanage looked a few hours ago:

settle in for another exciting tale from yesteryear

2009-05-18T11:03:00.000-05:00

god loves a blonde; shouldn't you?

2009-05-14T06:38:00.002-05:00

happy bike week

2009-05-12T21:54:00.003-05:00

everyone in des moines, and all of iowa, for that matter, is all "i wanna be bike friendly" -- although what they are REALLY saying is "i want my city to receive a bike friendly STATUS." there's a hell of a big difference. you know it. i know it. most REAL cyclists know it. but for some reason, politicians just don't quite seem to grasp it.

neither do engineers, nor city planners.

here's an interesting article about ONE city that DOES get it.

In German Suburb, Life Goes On Without Cars
By ELISABETH ROSENTHAL
VAUBAN, Germany — Residents of this upscale community are suburban pioneers, going where few soccer moms or commuting executives have ever gone before: they have given up their cars.
Street parking, driveways and home garages are generally forbidden in this experimental new district on the outskirts of Freiburg, near the French and Swiss borders. Vauban’s streets are completely “car-free” — except the main thoroughfare, where the tram to downtown Freiburg runs, and a few streets on one edge of the community. Car ownership is allowed, but there are only two places to park — large garages at the edge of the development, where a car-owner buys a space, for $40,000, along with a home.
As a result, 70 percent of Vauban’s families do not own cars, and 57 percent sold a car to move here. “When I had a car I was always tense. I’m much happier this way,” said Heidrun Walter, a media trainer and mother of two, as she walked verdant streets where the swish of bicycles and the chatter of wandering children drown out the occasional distant motor.
Vauban, completed in 2006, is an example of a growing trend in Europe, the United States and elsewhere to separate suburban life from auto use, as a component of a movement called “smart planning.” [for complete article, click here]

give me a waterboard, dick cheney, and one hour . . .

2009-05-12T21:32:00.002-05:00

for mom

2009-05-10T06:20:00.003-05:00

i come from rather modest roots. folks who know me know that. i don't live high on the hog, i don't spend money on tight jeans or loose women. i know the value of a dollar, and know the meaning of an honest day's work. that's why i went to college for so damned many years. i've tried to pass along to my daughter, and now to my grandchildren, the core of my values, so that they, too, might grow up appreciating classic lugged steel-framed bicycles and mid-sixties and older volkswagens. many of my core values were given to me by my mother, a woman also of very modest means, the child of immigrants, a single mother working to support her two young sons, living on the wrong side of the tracks. during her life, which ended all too soon, some twenty-one years ago, she did manage to touch the lives of many thousands of people, all of whom were better for having met her. some may not have realized who or what it was that caused that upswing in their lives, or what it was that turned the tide of events in their existences. but many others did, and some of those who recognized the contributions my mom made to them tried to at least acknowledge her, later in her life. one such occasion is shown below.

mom later confided in me that "ron always made me feel a little uncomfortable. i don't know whether it was that horrible cologne he wore--a gift from jane wyman, he said, or those cheap, brown polyester suits that had never seen the inside of a dry cleaners shop. he was a large man, and he was always sweating like a stuck pig. i always believe that the more a man sweats, the more lies he's trying to conceal. and i don't take a cotton to liars." as such, any time she knew she was going to meet with ron, she'd carry a little scented kerchief in her hands to cover his aroma. mom was always fond of patchouli.

happy mother's day, mom.

tom boonen's tour bus

2009-05-09T05:45:00.001-05:00

oh, tom. temptation is such a bitch.