Tuesday, September 22, 2009

from my "mysterious ways" file

to quote my televangelist brothers and sisters, i truly AM blessed. so much so that i will share MY good fortune with you:

Dearest in Christ,

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am Mrs Sarah Hamson. I am married to Mr. Richard Hamson who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for many years before he died in the year 2004.We were married without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of ($2.600.000.00) Two million six hundred thousand dollar in a Bank here in Ivory Coast . Presently this money is still in the bank. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to my cancer problem.

The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a charity organization that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want an organization that will use this fund for orphanages, school and church, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained, Isaiah 56:7 for my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations." The Bible made us to understand that "Blessed is the hand that giveth" I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers.

I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace". I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always... I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you more information’s on how to go about the transfer of the fund into your account.

I await your soonest response with your full information, example. Your full name....................... Address....................................... Age...........................................

I will use the above information to obtain an authorization letter that will legally and officially approve you as the new beneficiary of this fund from the Federal Ministry of Justice Cote d'Ivoire . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply with the above information.
Remain blessed in the Lord
Take care, Yours Sister in Christ
Mrs Sarah Hamson.


Buckshot77 said...

I wonder how long it will take Nigerian scam artists to figure out that the word "endeavour" is used so rarely in our language that it's a pretty much dead giveaway. On the plus side, that is probably the most well written scam letter I've seen in quite some time. So Rev, are you going to send in your name and address?

the mostly reverend said...

dude, i'm already sitting by the mailbox waiting for my ship to come in!

can i get an AMEN?
hallelujah, and ship's ahoy!!

gpickle said...

What the hell IS your real name, anyways?

Sister Nun of the Above?
The Mostly Irrelevant Grandpa Kim?
Mr Mystery West?
Russ Linguini?

I give up!

the mostly reverend said...

you remember mr. fristo? awww...