Thursday, July 30, 2009

i've been saying for years that cycling makes me feel better. here's why!

"A Berlin brothel has come up with a novel way to offset the impact of the global economic crisis and target a new group of customers at the same time - offering a discount to patrons who arrive on bicycles. "The recession has hit our industry hard," said Thomas Goetz, owner of the Maison d'envie brothel.
"Obviously we hope that the discount will attract more people," he added. "It's good for business, it's good for the environment - and it's good for the girls." Customers who arrive on bicycle or who can prove they took public transportation get a €5 ($7) discount from the usual €70 ($100) fee for 45 minute sessions, Mr Goetz said. He said the environmentally friendly offer was working a charm.
"We have around 3-5 new customers coming in daily to take advantage of the discount," he said, adding the green rebate has helped alleviate traffic and parking congestion in the neighbourhood. Germany is one of the few countries in the world where prostitution is legal. It has about 400,000 prostitutes who, since 2002, have been allowed to enter formal labour contracts."

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

is it time for biker bucks?

pedalgrl, the kim west radio cycling show's northeast iowa correspondent, tells of a small dispute brewing in her neck of the woods about where and whether bikes should be parked in a business district. read here for details:
. . . . .
my initial reaction was to purchase a rubber stamp that reads "biker bucks" and stamp all your paper currency. let the business people know the power of two legs in a language they understand.
at des moines stamp company, an old-fashioned one that requires an ink pad is $8. $25.90 will get you a perma-inked stamper. i am told that if you spend $50, you get 10% off; spend $100, get 15% off; $150, 20% off.
NOW any thoughts?
i can take orders for biker bucks stamps in the comments section.

finally- a reason to wear a helmet?

i hear it all the time:
"where's your helmet?" [said by a highway patrolman in an intersection]
"hey, organ donor, do you know where i can find a bar?" [said by a guy--one of many--wearing stars & stripes-styled jerseys as we roll into a small town]
"hey, wear a helmet! you're breaking all the rules & laws of ragbrai!" [said by a guy in full-aero tuck on his tri-style bike, as we safely pass him on his left. he chased me down after i cupped my ear and said "what" three times to chew my ass.]
"you're setting a bad example" [a fat man on a bike as i rode by]
but there might be a reason to pull the old giro out of the zippered case and slip it on the noggin: the much misunderstood firefighter on a sunday morning in asheville, north carolina, on a crusade to keep young children safe.
did anyone get the make and model of the cyclist's helmet?
read here for more.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

the ride to ragby, day one

large groups of bicyclists descend upon the atlantic super 8
recipe for a good day
--five friends
--80 miles
--five bicycles
mix liberally
--80 miles of headwinds
--three miles gravel
--2 pinch flats [to ME, of all things!]
--free beer from the baggers at the east end of the white pole road
[we just crossed over i-80 west of earlham and
we saw 25 to 30 assorted loaded bikes and cyclists
cheering as we approached. i asked "did i hear free beer?" and it was on.]

--2 smoking rooms at the super 8 in atlantic
--2 large casey's pizza
--3 six-packs of beer [including guinness]
--assorted sweet things from a bakery
--versus tour coverage
--20 extra miles to roll it up to an even 100 for the day
shape five sleepy cyclists into four large beds,
and let rest overnight

--let the old guy wake up at 130 to go to the lobby to blog
--get up at 600 am for the free breakfast buffet
--add 3 1/2 to 4 hours live tour
--set out for 50 damned hilly miles of riding to council bluffs
and hope like hell the wind has changed!!
life is good . . .

Thursday, July 16, 2009

hello again

[for explanation, see below]
i've been problem-solving lately, this time at the american mustache institute's think tank. i can't really disclose what we've been thinking about, but it's beginning to look a lot better for the hairy lippers among us.
let's just leave it at that.
but those of you who have been asking about my health and whereabouts, thank you, and please understand that every now and again, i am called to a higher cause, and i must respond. but my heart remains here, at the orphanage.
my own personal mustache, by the way, is alive and well, and is looking forward to a little sun and relaxation over the next few days.
see you on the road.
i hope to be filing dispatches from along the way...
by the way, since i'll be somewhat more mobile the next few days, and will be without my vast photo library, i thought i'd upload a photo that, should my posts NEED photo illustration, i'll have one at the ready. it will be up to you, my faithful readers, to imagine the more appropriate illustration. maybe you could post links in the comments section. in the meantime, you'll have to rely on mine, with a supplied caption.
it's a little quiz, of sorts, i suppose.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

we answer the obvious

Dear Dr. Science,
How come no matter which direction I ride my bicycle,
the wind blows against me?
--from Christopher Coughlin of Colorado Springs, CO
A: Were you born after 1950? I detect in your question a kind of "the world owes me a living" whine that's so prevalent in people of that generation. Instead of feeling gratitude for the fact that you have a bicycle, or two legs to ride it, you complain that bike riding moves you through the sea of air, producing the effect of a wind on your face. If you rode your bike in a vacuum, the troublesome wind would vanish, but the cumbersome life support system you'd have to wear to accomplish this would make a little headwind seem like a blessing.

Friday, July 03, 2009

news from inside the arctic circle

first-term alaska governor and former star on the television series "rosanne" sarah chalke has announced that she will surrender her crown as "miss alaska" as soon as the end of this month, it was reported by the office of donald trump, who owns the competition which resulted in ms. chalke winning the title two years ago. ms. chalke immediate plans are unknown at this time, although she previously indicated she would like "to work to preserve the institution of marriage" and "see russia."
she has also told close advisors that she really enjoys reading newspapers, and is becoming quite proficient at sodoku, a numbers game.

reason prevails in france, zirbel prevails in fitchberg, chaos prevails in kazakhstan

the score on friday:
tour organizers--1
tour competition--1
tour fans--1
fantasy league players--1
the classic "everyone wins" scenario. well, there might be some bruised and battered egos here and there, mais que sera sera, oui?
and elsewhere...
local hero tom zirbel is at it again, this time with a 23-second lead after a wet 14.3 km time trial in the four-day race. this follows his starring role as the ultimately heart-broken leader of the nature valley grand prix. hopefully, tom won't be reprising this role, but with FOUR kelley benefits riders filling out the top-5 after stage 1, and with sprint bonuses abundant, it's going to be a real team effort, whatever the outcome.
best of luck to tom and all my friends at the bissell pro cycling team; likewise, good luck to my friends at kelley benefits, too. i love cycling like this.
will it be a bloodless coup at astana? has the lance contingent already been woken up and told to go the the airport, honduran-style? in an international replay of the locally-famous "loyalty ploy," soon-to-be born-again speedster and drug fan alexander vinokourov has announced that he is prepared to regain control of his baby, and is fit to be a good daddy once again. and he has the love, money, and support of the kazakh minister of everything relevant.
i DO enjoy the man's cycling style; it's not surprising that his social and business skills in of the same vein.
next year's gonna be interesting, clearly.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

pssst! c'mere; i've got a deal for you...

when i stumble upon something really fantastic, my first instinct is to share my good fortune with others. i can't help it; it's what makes me a democrat, among other things.
so when i found this in my in-box--NOT in my spam filter--i immediately knew what i HAD to do.
and here it is.
i'm sharing this with you essentially as i was given it; glean from it what you will. i can't tell you what to do ["you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it order it with a slice of lime."]
. . . . .
When God wants something done, He always gives it to ONE PERSON to do—a Moses, a Peter, a Paul, a David, a Gideon, a Mary. Had you noticed?
In Pray and Be Rich, Dr. Richard Gaylord Briley reveals a startling Biblical truth that has great implications for your life:
One person, committed to a goal, is all God needs to change the world.
He’s done it many times. And if history turns many more pages, He’ll surely do it again. At the very least, you and God together can change your world.
The new audio program – Pray and Be Rich – is about one person—YOU—and the success plans that God has for all who believe, pray and act on the message of the Bible.
To start, to get the most from this sensational audio program and find daring faith to act upon your God-given potential for success, you must already believe that:
The Bible is more than humanity’s oldest book of living wisdom—though it is at least that.
Life has meaning and purpose.
Your life has a special purpose, even if that purpose and a plan to achieve it are not yet clear to you.
In Pray and Be Rich, Dr. Briley unlocks the Bible’s secrets about wealth, its use and abuse.
It astonishes many that Jesus spoke more about wise use of our possessions (our wealth) than any other subject. Riches are extensions of whatever we make of ourselves. Wealth is extra power to use for good or evil.
All babies are born poor. But as you’ll find out in Pray and Be Rich, five percent of them, in free societies, grow up to be richer than the rest.
This widely-ignored fact gives extra hope for success to anyone with a clear goal in life.
Pray and Be Rich reveals the Biblical secrets that will enable you to become a member of the five percent of people who rise to the top and succeed.
About Dr. Briley – creator of Pray and Be Rich
Richard Gaylord Briley is a protégé of both Arthur S. DeMoss, the billionaire philanthropist, and Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking, with whom he worked 18 years.
In Pray and Be Rich, Dr. Briley reveals the secrets he learned from Peale and DeMoss – both of whom used Biblical secrets to become great successes.
In Pray and Be Rich, Briley reveals how to apply purposeful faith and “seven spiritual secrets of success” (hidden in plain view in the Bible) to reach life-enhancing goals.
Thousands say this program has helped to put them on their path to success.
While learning what’s in this book, Dr. Briley raised over two billion dollars for religious and charitable causes, started two medical research foundations and found true success to be spiritually based.
He says, “My major life purpose to help people solidify vague dreams into measured, reachable goals.” In fact, God wants his believers to be a success!

the really groovy thing is that this book--which really DOES contain the bible's heretofore unrevealed "7 secrets of success"--isn't all that you get for just $9.95 [you read THAT right--down from the regular retail price of $49.95. you ALSO get "the deck of reagan." read below for just a sample of the wit and wisdom you can learn from playing solitaire--or go fish--with the deck of reagan.

go forth and be successful--or rich, whichever comes first.

and tell me about it...