it was pretty good bread...

It was pretty good bread because I was making um, $2.71 an hour. I was making a hundred and a quarter a week, and uh, yea it was good enough money to be working on so i got an Oldsmobile, a groovy Olds.

.....

check out this wonderful zappa documentary,

[sorry, i can't embed this one.]

the POLITICAL compass

think you're REALLY left, or right?

absolutely dead certain you are NOT an extremist?

take this free, quick and painless test to find out.
if you're REALLY brave, post your results in the comments section.

anonymously, if you desire.

friday afternoon--we listen, here at the orphanage

it's time again for "dear donny..."

.....

leave your questions for donny in the comments section, as you already know, and we'll publish answers as soon as we get them!

.....
here's ANOTHER way to get better the fast and easy way!
unfortunately, there is NOT a "buy it now" option, and

you only have until december 4 to act.

good luck, guys!!

what's on the turntable? [a peachy little number]

more about religion

questions about religion are everywhere these days. let's hear what the smartest man on earth has to say on this timely and hotly debated subject...

Q: Dear Dr. Science,
Is god just fattening us up to eat us later?
--from Jack Clarke of Kingston, TX

A: It always amazes me how much a person's questions say about himself. You couldn't have painted a better picture of yourself had you been Vermeer himself. I can see you on your father's knee as he reads Hansel and Gretel, while you squirm in discomfort. The old woman keeps offering the lost children candy and cake, but she has an ulterior motive. Kindly old woman in a house made of cookies, vengeful God in heaven - both have a lot in common for a neurotic wrestling with paranoid delusions. Emotional maturity is hard to come by, but the alternative is even more difficult. I'm surprised you even sleep at night. You do sleep, don't you?

cycling fashion, 2008

a recent article in the wall street journal talks about cycling in the harsh midwest winters, and the high-tech alternatives available to those who wish to buy some comfort. many of us prefer to get our tough guy points the old-fashioned way--by the seat of our pants.

in what might be the 2008 version of the all9yards/bikeworld team kit, chad fruitofthelune models the latest in jinglecross bikewear. clearly a departure from the traditional team green, chad opted for traditional sunday dress blues.

truly a memorable race effort, chad.

just in time for gift-giving!

found in quality hotels and motels everywhere!

[thanks, mistress reader]

.....

and this helpful reminder for self-assessment from an alert reader.

over the coffee [remember that?]

RELIGION DOESN'T DISQUALIFY A PRESIDENT

- by Donald Kaul
As experienced readers of this space (both of you) know, I am not a fan of the Republican Presidential candidates.
I like the Libertarian, Ron Paul, but he'd drive me crazy as President. I admire John McCain but he's in love with the war. It goes down from there---to Rudy Giuliani, who is Dick Cheney without the charm.
But I don't understand why some people, and more than a few, think Mitt Romney is unqualified because he is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. A Mormon.
There seems to be this feeling that Mormonism is more cult than religion and a kooky cult at that. To that I say, let's put it to the test:
Do Mormons drink sacramental wine and pretend they're drinking the blood of their founder? No, Mormons don't drink at all, actually.
Do Mormons, as a matter of ritual, hire a non-medical person to mutilate their baby sons' penises when they're eight days old? I don't believe so.
Do Mormons rush into crowded buildings and blow themselves up in expectation that God will reward them with eternal life in a heaven equipped with 32 virgins per martyr? Never heard of it happening.
All of those things happen in other religions.
What about polygamy? Well, what about it? The Mormon Church withdrew its sanction of polygamy in 1890---117 years ago. If you're expecting Mitt Romney to take two or three more wives any time soon you're going to be sadly disappointed. Actually, of the four major Republican candidates, he's the only one who's had only one wife.
My point is this: Looked at from the outside, all religions seem more than passing strange and, at their extremes, downright crazy. That is because they are not rational; they are systems of belief. Attempts to justify religious beliefs rationally are always a little absurd (see "scientific creationism"). Belief and the feeling of well-being it engenders need no further justification.
I'm fine with that. It's a free country; believe what you want (except for the bombing, of course).
I'm sure Mormons practice things that seem odd to the rest of us. So what? Looked at objectively, from a distance, they are an admirable people---clean-living, industrious, generous and civic-minded.
If you don't want to vote for Mitt Romney, I can think of a number of very good reasons not to do so. Being a Mormon isn't one of them.
I suppose you now imagine that I think the Democratic candidates are the cat's pajamas, a bunch of would-be philosopher-kings vying to lead us out of the wilderness.
Not even close. I think they tend to be professional politicians who have spent their political lives walking around with a tin cup, begging money from rich contributors. They have sold out so many times to so many people that they can hardly remember who owns them anymore. They just know it's not the American people.
Not that I blame them. That's our system. If you don't do it you don't get to be a serious candidate for President. You get to be Dennis Kucinich.
Still, there's something about each of the Democrats that I can like. It's an extremely intelligent, articulate group, for the most part very knowledgeable about the problems that beset this country.
What's missing, I think, is a sense of boldness in addressing those problems, a message that some solutions require sacrifice, not merely by the very rich but by all of us.
I'd like a candidate to tell Iowa that corn-based ethanol is a fraud and that the state is setting itself up for disaster by depending on it for so much of its economic prosperity. I'd like him or her to tell the American voter that the problem with gasoline isn't that it's too expensive, but that it's too cheap.
It's not enough to talk truth to power; you have to talk it to voters too.
I'm not holding my breath.
--
Don Kaul is a two-time Pulitzer Prize-losing Washington correspondent who, by his own account, is right more than he's wrong. Email: dkaul1@verizon.net -- A photo of Donald Kaul is available CLICK HERE
# # # # # #
Distributed by MinutemanMedia.org.

they don't call them "wily" for nothing

this time of year, we ride lots of gravel. we also have lots of fun doing so. roads we ride all the time seem different each and every night, the combination of routes are limitless, so each time out is a distinct adventure, a fact that hasn't sunk in around here during the warmer months, for some inexplicable reason. but that's adifferent rant. last night, nine hardy souls set out from waterworks park shortly after 530 for a three-hour cruise. along for the ride were chad, scott robinson and his brother "the instigator," jared, kurt, lippold, the reverend, sean, and "new guy." we headed south. after about an hour, chad signalled "old guy stop," and we did. dave, finishing first, rolled up the road. apparently, despite a warning, new guy rolled along too. the rest of us decided it was time to school new guy, and noticing they were rolling maybe a half-mile or more ahead, we turned right. eventually, dave and new guy caught back on. dave shared this tale:

it seems he looked back--dave rides with a head-mounted light in addition to a bike-mounted headlight--and saw four bikes approaching, so he and new guy continued south, as the rest of us continued our quite merry way away from them. turns out that rather than four bikes, there were several coyotes silently following them at what was believed to be a "too close for comfort" distance.
dave has been working on his sprint lately, and might want to consider adding the 5000 metre pursuit to his track resume. the gauntlet has been thrown down, the bar has been raised.

let's hear YOUR night-time wildlife adventures, okay readers? leave them in the comments section.

.....

by the way, chad and i are going to ride fixed gear bikes this sunday, december 2d, regardless of weather. we intend to do three or more long fixie rides before christmas, long being three or more hours. might include hills, will not likely include gravel. more details will be given here as sunday approaches, but bear in mind that iptv is broadcasting the iowa-minnesota wrestling meet at 200 pm, so i'd like to be home by then, so a 1000 am start time is possible.

remember, sunday morning fixie road ride.

damned cell phones

ANOTHER dropped call.

how i spent my thanksgiving vacation

note the dangling skinsuit; this was post-race sunday,

and i was no doubt grousing about NOT being on mt. krumpit.

that or an electrical issue. i've gotta work on my image.

i DID have fun dispensing grief with every vanilla beverage.

full report to follow, but i must make a trip to ottumwa this morning.

dollars to doughnuts--the writer's guild strike

"today's sermonette" will appear following this brief word from our sponsor:

"gone jingling"...with this post, i head off--singlespeed ralph in tow--piloting the coffeebus to iowa city to take part in the festivities in the annual jinglecrossrock races.

come join us on the hill for a swell time.--the rev and the orphans

. . . . .

and now, today's feature story:

"Jay Leno rode his motorcycle to a picket line at NBC in Burbank to pass out doughnuts to the strikers there."
"Meanwhile, one powerful name is playing Santa Claus to his loyal colleagues. CBS "Late Show" host Daveid Letterman has quietly announced to his staff that he would pay them out of his own pocket over the holidays if the strike continues."

.....

johnny knew, and nbc never understood.--the rev

two peas in a pod

these two kids are cruising for a bruising...

will they never learn that heads are for helmets, not thinking?
but wait, one of these guys has snow on his head, while the other...

.....

[did i hear you correctly? the other guy rides like a what?]

it really wasn't that crowded

i'm nothing, if i'm not what you'd call a "traditionalist," and so, after dinner, i went to the mall.
the dixie square mall, in harvey, illinois, to be precise.
plenty of parking, just 20 miles south of chicago: it's a lovely place to go if you just want to get away from the hustle and bustle of the usual black friday throngs. to me, it says "christmas, american style, 21st century." didn't really buy anything, but that's okay by me. i might go back again really soon. there's something tranquil about the place. must be the post-neo-nihilist gap thing near the atrium, which is unusually large.

by the way, are you at a loss for what to do with your drumsticks, now that the meal is over?

try this.

oh, and one last thing for which i forever will be thankful:

something else for which to give thanks

please take a few minutes to watch and listen to this speech.

then you'll be thankful, too.

from the cure at troy

history says, don't hope

on this side of the grave.

but then, once in a lifetime,

the longed-for tidal wave

of justice can rise up,

and hope and history rhyme.

~seamus heaney~

happy thanksgiving

a couple of my thanksgiving favorites: eating holiday fare at a lonely greasy spoon, and dealing with that nagging heroin craving . . . i mean, leftovers.

thank god i'm an atheist*

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States. While it’s technically not a religious holiday, it can be a difficult one for atheists for grammatical reasons. “Thank” is a transitive verb, meaning that it requires a direct object. One cannot simply thank. One must thank someone or something. For the vast majority of Americans, that someone or something is god. So, as atheists, who are we thanking? Well, we could thank each other for showing up for dinner. We could thank the poultry farmers for providing the main course. We could thank the football players for working on a holiday. However, none of these seem to be very good reasons to take a couple of days off and have a feast.
Despite the cognitive dissonance caused by its name, I support the spirit of Thanksgiving. I think that taking time once a year to reflect on the positive aspects of one’s life is a good idea. In a world that often seems like it has gone mad, it’s easy for the good things to slip through the mental cracks. After watching the devastation of a monster hurricane or seeing the rising death toll of an unpopular war, we forget to appreciate the roofs over our heads and the people who love us. The news is full of poverty and forced labor, but most of us have the money to buy computers and the free time to visit blogs. There are only 850 million telephone lines in this world of 6.5 billion people, but most of us have broadband, cell phones and on-demand movies. Billions of people are enslaved by religion, but we are free.
I can thank the people responsible for some of that. My family will be there, so I can thank them. If you happen to run into a veteran tomorrow, you might want to thank him, also. If you happen to know Tim Berners-Lee, maybe send him an email. However, most of the people responsible for this incredible quality of life I enjoy are anonymous, dead or both. So, while we are celebrating Thanksgiving, lets also celebrate the simpler holiday of Gladhaving, because that encourages you to appreciate all the good in your life, including the parts for which there is no one to thank but yourself. If you do this, I guarantee you’ll awaken from your Turkey-induced coma on Friday morning with a much rosier picture of the world. It may only last until you turn on the news or try to find a parking space at the mall, but it’s better than nothing.

--the mostly reverend--
P.S. In the spirit of the holiday, I’d like to thank all of you for reading, commenters and lurkers alike. I’d also like to thank the few good electronic friends I’ve made because of this blog. You know who you are. If you’re not sure whether I’m including you, assume that I am. That way, everyone’s happy.

*[taken from the evangelical atheist, to whom i also give thanks]

NEVER BEFORE IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND!!

today, during a mid-morning press conference in des moines, in which delaware senator joe biden, chairman of the senate foreign relations committee, and the thinking person's choice for the democratic nomination for president, unveiled his national energy policy, something rare and exciting took place, in front of a packed meeting hall, and national media.
a legitimate candidate for the presidency used the words "bicycle" and "energy policy" in the same sentence, and in a very positive light. yes, the bicycle is actually viewed by at least one candidate for president as actual "transportation," and not just a means of recreation. biden spoke of his confrontations in the past with representatives of the transportation industry [read "truckers"] and construction industry [read "highway lobby"] in which he reminded them that their money flows from the transportation department, and that the portion of those highway funds allocated to construction of trails, bike lanes, light- and high-speed rail systems are ALSO integral parts of the national transportation system.

i like and respect this man, who, by the way, commutes by rail four hours a day from his home to washington. he points out that he is one of the few members of congress who has never lived in d.c., and is a huge fan of rail transportation. i want to ride a tandem with him some day. keep reading for updates.

oh, it's his birthday today, too. 62, a year older than duane allman.

happy birthday, duane

long story short: my weekend

it began with the highest of intentions.
instead, it got a little weird at times...
i tried to remain cool, and succeeded for the most part,
but doing so took quite a toll on me.
but it was nothing that a little binge & purge couldn't cure!

coffee and cyclocross weekend, part 1

the mostly reverend hits the road this weekend, firing up the coffeebus and heading west to lincoln, nebraska, to raise the caffeine levels of racers and specatators alike at the sobe no ear cyclocross races and nebraska state cyclocross championships. we're one of the featured highlights. go figure. for the mostly reverend, it's an opportunity to determine whether he really sucks as much as his results at the iowa state championships would seem to indicate, or whether [his hunch] gear selection really does matter on a singlespeed bike. the week the mostly just spent on his death bed will no doubt cloud the issue, further making it questionable whether this foray into the cyclocross arena is pure folly, pure sport, or some combination of the two. however, he IS looking forward to driving and operating the coffeebus again.

this weekend is a tuneup for next weekend's jinglecross rock weekend, where the coffeebus will again be pumping fresh coffee, espresso beverages, plus hot choclate AND hot cider from zanzibar's coffee adventure in des moines, and for the mostly reverend, yet another chance to embarass himself and all the orphans prior to cyclocross nationals in kansas city in december.

stay tuned for results.

THIS JUST IN ! !

lane anderson's late night cyclocross training sessions.

your daily affirmation

as you go out on your daily bike ride, on this terribly windy day [gusts to 80+ k/h], meditate on this.

namaste.

.....

click for your prc UPDATE

money, it's a crime

what does twenty thousand dollars buy nowadays?

your morning cup of otis

so smooth, for over forty years.
thanks, man.

let's follow that with a hot cup of joe.

campaign issues, circa 2007

what's happened to this country?

..... [thanks, sandy]

how to recruit team members

Following the withdrawal of the Discovery Channel team from cycling, Chechu Rubiera is still not on the 2008 roster of a ProTour team, a fact his fans, represented by checurubiera.info, hopes to change.
"Chechu once told us that he had the best fans in the world," a spokesperson for the site said on Sunday in an open letter to the cycling community. "The team which hires Chechu Rubiera in 2008 will gain not only a dedicated professional and gifted athlete, but an extraordinary group of fans around the world. From Australia, South America, Africa, Germany, France, Belgium, Great Britain and Hungary. And in the US, from California, Texas, Missouri, Massachusetts, Washington, Arizona and Kansas. Not forgetting his aficionados, Spaniards who have supported him since his first win twenty years ago."--from cyclingnews.com

well, always one to make lemonade from free lemons, i posted the following:

.....

the mostly reverend (20:56:49) :
chechu–if you DON’T score a team, all9yards.com racing team has a spot available for you. we are in central iowa, very near the hometown of former teammate jason mccartney.

we’d LOVE to race in support of you.

best wishes,the mostly reverend grandpa kim
.....

we'll keep readers of today's sermonette posted of any signings.

wish us luck!!

in the interest of free-flowing discussion

got a question? ask uncle donny here.

.....
lots of folks have asked,

"hey, grandpa, doesn't donny love me any more?"
well sure he does; he's just awfully busy lately, much too busy to answer each and every letter he gets. but just as santa has "helpers" to read all the letters the big jolly one gets, the kids at the orphanage will answer your letters to donny.
do you want to tell donny "punk on!"?
wanna tell bart he's an old fart?
wanna leave a snappy response to donny's latest post?
leave it here, in the comments section.
we'll see that donny reads it,
and we'll get an answer right away!

....

here's an interesting question from one of donnie's readers:

donny, can you play some REAL punk music from, say, the pixies and fugazi?

well, sure!

here are the pixies performing "where is my mind?" in 1988.

.....

november 14 update--punk rock where to go in "dead" moines?

a google search of punk rock des moines works great!

did you know that thank you donny is a punk rock band from des moines.

neither did i!

and here are the fugazis performing "bulldog front" also in 1988.

suggested signage

food sustainability survey

here's an opportunity to help shape governmental policy regarding the things we eat, where and how it's grown, whether and how it's inspected, and where we buy it. it takes just a few minutes, so go here. thanks.

and while you're completing the food survey, give a listen to the allman brothers covering van morrison's "and it stoned me" from this year's run at the beacon theatre, complete with horns.

from chad vande lune

Thankfulness

I've been wanting to send out an e-mail to the team to somehow express how thankful I am for all the support you all have given my family the last few months. I'll start first with the meals. The meals have been great. Thank you to everyone who has given food. It helps a lot to know that people are still thinking about us. Also, cyclists are the best cooks. Next I'd like to say thanks to everyone who gave money. We never thought anything like this would happen to Price so we didn't have any life insurance for him. What we also didn't know was that the cycling community was his life insurance policy. The money you all gave paid for the funeral expenses, headstone, and hospital bills. You all carried part of the load for us during a very difficult time in our lives. Kim, I want to personally thank you for your leadership with this. Last and most important thanks for your friendships. Price has taught me that family and friendship are truly all that matter. Price's short life has taught me many things that I will not forget.

Sincerely, Chad

punk rock cycling training camp

much has been made here in capitol city about the newest women's [and men's, too?] cycling team, the aptly-named punk rock bicyclers. although great efforts have been taken to keep in place the invisibility cloak, we at the orphanage have kept our collective noses to the grindstone, and our vulcan ears to the cosmos. our report follows:

although the roster of prc team members has been changing faster than the list of lance's ex-girlfriends, our intrepid photographer snapped the following shots of a recent prc workout.
seems donny has taken sitting in to new heights. view this special sneak video for more team tactics. today's sermonette will keep you posted with latest details as they become known.

[thanks, orphan d.k., for the tips]

winter is here...what to do?

well, i don't know about you,

but i'm not going to just sit around waiting for the writer's strike to end.

not this guy!

i got up bright and early this morning and joined my new friends at

THE MALL!

hell, these places are open every day.

they're heated, and they play wonderful holiday music.

so, it's 830 am, and i've already walked three hours,

consumed five double lattes, three large cinnabuns,

and have a bowling date for friday afternoon.

WHO KNEW???

shit, i'll see ya the mall tomorrow morning, 500 am.

which mall? who gives a shit.

they're all the same now, aren't they?

.....

so how do you intend to spend the winter?

share your fun ideas in the comment section.

a timely reminder: tough guy points

it's that time of year again:

the temperature has dropped, the wind is more likely to blow from the north than the south, and virtually everyone who rides their bike outside is talking about their "epic" bike ride, and about their tough guy points.

well, it WASN'T, and you didn't get any.

please read this post from last winter before you start tossing around terms like "epic." these standards have withstood the test of many seasons, and riders much better than you abide by their requirements.

if it ain't the following, it ain't epic, you got zero points,

so shut up about it.
amen. --the mostly reverend

.....

the face of tough guy points

many riders have been asking me all fall and winter about "tough guy points."

it's a lot like the supreme court's view of obscenity: "i'll know it when i see it."

[former u.s. supreme court justice potter stewart, 1964]

it's like this: you've gotta have several of the following factors:

1--below freezing;

2--windy;

3--long ride [certainly more than 2 hours--that's not even a warm-up];

4--unusually harsh road conditions [soft gravel, muds, ice or such];

5--very brisk pace throughout;

6--you shall NOT use the word "epic" to describe the ride

[penalty: forfeiture of all accumulated points];

7--"precipitation" is a bonus;

8--"someone on the ride vomits or bonks" is a bonus.

. . . . .

bottom line: it's gotta hurt; you've gotta feel it the next day--or no points.

[otherwise they have no redemption value later in the actual season.]

bubba wants quality, bubba GETS quality

it doesn't get higher quality than frank zappa...on "miami vice," no less.



to learn more about zappadan, the festival that we at the orphanage celebrate as our sacred holiday of choice, read here.

make a note of this woman's name!

she's going places, for sure.

loose stools and random thoughts

Tuesday Morning World Championship Coffee Time
Tuesday mornings ~7-ish at Zanzibars

--2723 ingersoll avenue--
Because we miss each other this time of year.
-jane

[found this in my in-box; best thing i've heard in days!--the rev]

.....

today's topic:

road conditions and responsibility--who's to blame?

go here and vote.

.....

.....

and finally,

i'm almost looking forward to getting the flu this winter!

a couple MORE things to worry about

donny q has hinted that the new woman's team might be sporting jackets like these next year. a clever idea, but not new, as bart sported a jersey like this--using actual racing numbers--on turkey day a few ragbrais ago. as i recall, bart, you over-heated during the late-july day of riding in the humid sunshine . . . to the delight of all the other turkey day participants.

...

this is one of the more bizarre accounts i've read about abuse of cyclists.

keep your eyes open out there.

remembering the dog days of summer

chillin' by the pool,

waiting for another dogarita

vegetarian humor

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
+ Sauteed Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00

+ Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the cook over and asked, 'Why such a price difference for the Republican?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit, it takes all morning."

last post today: a QUIZ

whose birthday is today?

.....

happy birthday, buddy!

.....

i wish i could remember these things

same wishes to you, too, belatedly, mr. pickle.

monkey art update

give a primate a block of marble and a chisel,

and they'll make a masterpiece every time.

.....

since selling out their current fabulous exhibit of ape art at zanzibar's coffee adventure, the resident artists at the great ape trust have turned their sights to something of a more permanent nature: the great sculptures of michelangelo. above is a sneak peak at their first effort.