Saturday, December 30, 2006

ask the mostly reverend:

i received the following letter from bunkermonkey4. the little tyke writes:
:) ok ok i know actually i do have a hybrid type bike. its a cannondale bike with strait bars (not road bars) also im kinda bumbed cause i want to go to the amigos sub zero xc race in fort dodge but parents wont let me go up by myself and i have no ride so im bumbed. well i get over it.

DEAR BUNKERMONKEY:
a lesson for everyone here: a bike is a bike. ride the darned thing. i've spent the past several weeks riding gravel and muck and trails with an old road bike with 23C tires, downtube shifting and a saddle that was dragged a few miles across town, and i'm having a great time.
when you're too good for the cannondale hybrid, SOMEONE will notice, and see to it that you get a better one. so ride the bike you have, and be glad you have one. there are kids in china who go to sleep at night without any kind of bike at all.
and for racing, if your folks won't let you go by yourself to the amigos sub zero xc race in fort dodge, maybe--just maybe--your folks know better. maybe you're better suited to be a roadie, or a trackie, and they're hoping you'll discover that without them having to tell you that you have no future as a mountain biker.
or maybe they're telling you to go out and make a friend!
in either event, check the gspot central iowa ride bulletin board below, and learn about some local alternatives, and quit your whining.
there are bikeless kids in china who--because of monopolistic, free-speech-hating microsoft deals with the chinese government--are unable to log on to the gspot and are unable even to dream of the great rides and socialization opportunities they're missing.
be glad you have a cannondale hybrid and parents who love you.
and dream tonight of the abundance of bikes at the orphanage, and if you're lucky, you'll dream you've run away from home, hitch-hiked to fort dodge, and got spanked by cam kirkpatrick, whose parents recognized early on that he would be a successful mountain bike racer once he cut his afro and got old and bald, and let him race whenever and wherever he wanted.
now go to bed, after you tell your parents you love them.
and don't look under your bed: that's where cam always hides!

--the mostly reverend grandpa kim
the orphanage, capitol city, iowa

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