lily munster NEVER looked like THIS!

. . . . .

no wonder herman never left the house for long, eh?

[here's more]

well, more sad news to report, tv fans:

yvonne decarlo, who played the wife of moses before she married up, to

become the wife of the driver of the coolest family car on tv between

1964 and 1966, has died.

. . . . .

now, the COOLEST car on tv at this time belonged to t.v. tommy ivo.

[you've gotta scroll down to the four-engine behemoth!

sometime ask me about seeing this car at the dragstrip.]

that kid was all over the place on television back in the day.

got a show at the beach? tv tommy was there.

got a show with a surf band? tv tommy was there.

dude had a face and a smile all the mothers loved.

and the things he could do to a normal looking car and two or four engines.

wild stuff.

i'm sitting here remembering the smell of nitro fueled funny cars and dragsters.

anyone remember big daddy don garlits?

how about ed "big daddy" roth?

i won't even include george barris,

the guy who designed and built the munster coach. he was such a sell-out.

the REAL deal was ed roth.

but big daddy was a bit too weird for television,

so the munster coach prevailed.

the more things stay the same, the weirder the strange becomes.

thoughts about drugs and sports

this piece won't offer my opinion, but does provide more information about

drug use, inconsistent and non-existent actions by colleagues and governing bodies,

and the response of government, the media, and public.

is it fair?

is it right?

who knows?

death of a cyclist's best friend

reading today's new york times led me to this sad news:

the death of mr. noodle.

mr. noodle, unbeknownst to most college students, single parents, and

bike racers everywhere, is the one person who has always had

their best interests--economic and nutritional--in mind.

put some water on to boil as you read...

. . .

is this man crazy?

[read the related article if you have any doubts.]

another graphic saddam video

it's not that i have this perverse blood lust, but i know folks want to see it,

so here's the latest footage.

let's hope it fosters discussion.

i'm all shook up

. . .

happy birthday to the king [dead] AND ziggy stardust [60]

. . .

Elvis - Nixon Meeting Has Fans Shook Up
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
YORBA LINDA, Calif. (AP) -- The meeting between two of the most improbable cultural icons of the 1970s lasted all of 30 minutes, but it has fascinated the nation for years.
A photo of a cloaked and bejeweled Elvis Presley solemnly shaking hands with a grim-faced President Nixon remains the No. 1 requested document from the National Archives, nearly four decades after the secret meeting took place on Dec. 21, 1970.
Now, on what would be Elvis's 72nd birthday, the Richard Nixon Presidential Library & Birthplace is giving the curious public a good, long look at the relics of the coming together of The King and The President -- and it's got Elvis fans all shook up.
The free exhibit, which opened Monday and will run several months, includes the outfit Elvis wore (a black velvet overcoat, a gold-plated belt and black leather boots); Nixon's outfit (a gray woolen suit, tie and size 11 1/2 black shoes); letters; and a World War II .45-caliber Colt revolver that Elvis gave to Nixon.
''The two of them together somehow is almost incomprehensible,'' said Bud Krogh, Nixon's then-deputy assistant for domestic affairs, who set up the impromptu meeting that day 36 years ago. ''The king of rock and the president of the United States shaking hands in the Oval Office doesn't compute for a lot of people.''
About 50 people were waiting early Monday to see the exhibit.
''Of all the two people, who would ever think that Elvis and Nixon would get together? I couldn't believe it,'' said Gloria Matta Tuchman, 65, of Santa Ana, who said she became enthralled with Elvis as a girl and met him when she was in her 20s.
The chain of events that led to the meeting began when a stretch limousine carrying Elvis pulled up outside the White House. One of his guards handed over a letter from Elvis addressed to Nixon requesting a meeting to discuss how the rock star could help Nixon fight drugs -- including getting credentials as a ''federal agent at large.''
''I will be here as long as it takes to get the credentials of a Federal Agent,'' Elvis wrote. ''I have done an in-depth study of drug abuse and Communist brainwashing techniques and I am right in the middle of the whole thing where I can and will do the most good.''
The Secret Service agents alerted Krogh, an Elvis fan. Krogh met with Elvis, decided he was sincere and scrambled to get him into a noon meeting with Nixon.
About 2 1/2 hours later, Elvis walked into the Oval Office wearing his flamboyant outfit, as well as sunglasses and two huge medallions. But when Elvis entered the Oval Office, Krogh recalls, he froze.
''I think he was just awed by where he found himself. I ended up having to help him walk across over to the president's desk,'' he said.
Elvis and Nixon talked for about 30 minutes, during which Elvis showed Nixon pictures of his daughter and a pair of cufflinks given to him by Spiro Agnew. He also showed Nixon police badges from around the country and asked again for a badge from the U.S. Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs.
Nixon agreed to give him the badge -- but only after learning that the chief of the narcotics bureau had turned down the same request earlier that day and told him the only person who could overrule his decision was the president.
''Oh man, we were set up! But it was fun,'' said Krogh. ''He said all the right words about trying to do the right thing and I took him at his word, but I think he clearly wanted to get a badge and he knew the only way he was going to get it.''
At Elvis' request, the meeting remained secret for more than a year -- until The Washington Post broke the story on Jan. 27, 1972.
Since then, the Richard Nixon Library & Birthplace has more than made up for Elvis' ruse: T-shirts, cups, notepads and watches bearing the famous black-and-white photo remain the top-selling items at the museum's gift shop.
''We've known for years that that photograph is an icon image,'' said Sandy Quinn, the museum's assistant director. ''It is The President and The King.''

[note: i fixed the links!]

a little bit about even less...

i came upon this music clip, featuring steve winwood, at age 19.

it's from a german television show, and i thought you might enjoy

the lesbian dance action.

it's a groovy scene, man.

helps you appreciate the attention to detail paid by

michael meyers in the austin powers films.

rock on, baby . . .

far out . . .

okay, so here's some other critical news:

yes, it can happen to YOU! need proof?

now you better understand your significant other [even YOU, lou and pete].

and here's something just once i'd like to see on television...

and here's a gift for squirrel and teri, on finding their dream home.

now, back to work...

why chia chad grows it long

sorry, chad, but the truth is OUT!

hal turner is a dangerous man, constitutional subtleties or not. read what he has to say about the 110th congress, which convenes today. just another reason i don't listen to "talk" radio. [wish blogger would allow me to post in the usual manner...]

dj ted stevens techno remix

during yesterday's ride, the reverend and the princeton asshole were talking about american history, post-1920. PA learned it from books; the rev was there. among other dignitaries, we discussed alaska senator ted stevens, curiously, a republican. remember the $500,000,000 bridge to nowhere? yeah, THAT guy. turns out, he's an internet expert, too. i saw his speech on the senate floor, discussing his views on internet neutrality, wherein he describes exactly WHAT the internet is, and how it functions. this video puts his complex thoughts in a format more accessible to today's young people.
al gore has nothing on THIS guy!

re-joining all9yards racing team

many folks have asked me, "mostly reverend, how's come you went BACK to all9yards.com racing team? we KNOW you "rode" for them 2 years ago, but last year you raced for team jj. and we thought your policy about relationships with women would apply to racing teams, too. WHAT GIVES, mostly reverend?"

well, now it can be told. that lane anderson is a pretty sneaky fella, you know. and when he wants something--really WANTS something--then he'll go to any and all lengths to get it. and i guess i was one of those things. i may be cheap, but i ain't easy, as this exclusive video shows.
this secretly filmed movie contains actual footage of the process that lane and crew went through to lure me back into the fold. well, we all know that jj is cute and shit, but when you see what LANE did, then you'll know why i'll be sporting the color of money for the next few years. i hope you learn something by watching this; don't feel pity for me. i'm just a simple human being. a man, flesh and blood. but i yield to temptation like the next man of the cloth.
just watch, and you'll see...

in addition to minister and orphanage director, i am a bit of an amateur entymologist. in my quest for the better cyclist, i have found that spiders have been more than quite suitable subjects for preliminary exploration of my many theories. i am happy to release here, for the first time, visual proof beyond reproach of confirmation of one such theory. more details will be available when my study is complete, including how you, too, can benefit.

tough guys

dear readers--
since the weather has turned south, there has been MUCH talk of the legendary, mythical "tough guy point."
what IS a tough guy point?
how do you EARN a tough guy point?
before i tell you, perhaps you would be well served to watch this video a few times.
THESE are "tough guys."

happy hippies' new year's eve

. . .

the beacon theatre, new york city

gov't mule plays "lay down your love light"

http://s85.photobucket.com/albums/k74/louisfarkovitz/?action=view&current=GovtMule-LovelightNewyearseve2007.flv

[sadly, it's too short; but you get the idea of

how i love to spend an evening in new york.]

my new year's gift to my readers

. . .

some pretty hot, cool, groovy jazz & blues from the legendary

jimmy smith

. . .

who's afraid of virginia woolfe: bbc jazz 625, 1965

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTkFWJvdJ8g

. . .

organ grinder swing / midnight secial: copenhagen jazz festival 1985

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLn6v0V3QUw

. . .

moanin': mt. fuji jazz festival, japan 1990

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYosYlqiBOk

. . .

pour a glass of something, and enjoy the master of the hammond.

and thanks for reading this place.

i finally found it, the video of saddam's execution,

director's cut, unrated, whatever.

it's pretty weird, as you might imagine, and yet it's important to view.

as with all these snuff videos, they're just bizarre. i know they're real, and yet they seem so surreal, so dispassionate, you would think that viewing this, and other terrorist execution videos would allow for a rational thought process about capital punishment.

and yet, in the line of business i've had for so long, murder and "unnatural death" still weirds me out. i can deal with those who commit these acts, i can spend long hours talking with them, trying to get to know them, trying to understand the circumstances surrounding the commission of these acts resulting in death, and even defending them in courts of law, and defending them in courts of public opinion. but the actual sorting out of this act, and this person, inside me, attempting to make sense of it all, and to attempt to put it in some sort of "big picture" just doesn't completely fold neatly.

hanging saddam was not the right thing to do; it trivializes all the evil acts for which he was responsible, and minimizes all the evil he represents.

as is "poof, he's dead and gone" is the answer.

it answers ONLY some people's need for punishment, but in terms of prevention, rehabilitation, restitution, and for setting examples of preferred behavior, it falls far short of the proper resolution.

the family members of those who died as a result of the acts for which saddam was being tried at the time of his execution are denied the right to have a verdict in those cases.

have we no better method of achieving justice?

do we not owe the world a better example of how fair and just a criminal justice system actually can be?

i'd be interested in some opinions, readers. thanks.

ask the mostly reverend:

i received the following letter from bunkermonkey4. the little tyke writes:
:) ok ok i know actually i do have a hybrid type bike. its a cannondale bike with strait bars (not road bars) also im kinda bumbed cause i want to go to the amigos sub zero xc race in fort dodge but parents wont let me go up by myself and i have no ride so im bumbed. well i get over it.

DEAR BUNKERMONKEY:
a lesson for everyone here: a bike is a bike. ride the darned thing. i've spent the past several weeks riding gravel and muck and trails with an old road bike with 23C tires, downtube shifting and a saddle that was dragged a few miles across town, and i'm having a great time.
when you're too good for the cannondale hybrid, SOMEONE will notice, and see to it that you get a better one. so ride the bike you have, and be glad you have one. there are kids in china who go to sleep at night without any kind of bike at all.
and for racing, if your folks won't let you go by yourself to the amigos sub zero xc race in fort dodge, maybe--just maybe--your folks know better. maybe you're better suited to be a roadie, or a trackie, and they're hoping you'll discover that without them having to tell you that you have no future as a mountain biker.
or maybe they're telling you to go out and make a friend!
in either event, check the gspot central iowa ride bulletin board below, and learn about some local alternatives, and quit your whining.
there are bikeless kids in china who--because of monopolistic, free-speech-hating microsoft deals with the chinese government--are unable to log on to the gspot and are unable even to dream of the great rides and socialization opportunities they're missing.
be glad you have a cannondale hybrid and parents who love you.
and dream tonight of the abundance of bikes at the orphanage, and if you're lucky, you'll dream you've run away from home, hitch-hiked to fort dodge, and got spanked by cam kirkpatrick, whose parents recognized early on that he would be a successful mountain bike racer once he cut his afro and got old and bald, and let him race whenever and wherever he wanted.
now go to bed, after you tell your parents you love them.
and don't look under your bed: that's where cam always hides!

--the mostly reverend grandpa kim
the orphanage, capitol city, iowa

testing . . .

i can't seem to post photos for some reason or another, so to try something different, i did a google search for "des moines cycle club" and this photo was the first one to appear:

http://www.bikeiowa.com/uploads/gallery/2005Oct-RollingThunderPics.030.jpg

curiously, it appeared in a post by squirrel a year ago. i'm fairly certain that this is just an example of what makes dmcc the olympic breeding team that usa cycling has determined them to be.

but i'm just trying to work out the bugs in my blog.

fucking blogger . . .

all i wanna do is post some goddamned photos to complement this post. set the mood, display the tone. but it won't let me.

so humor me as you read along.

the past few days

have been amazing here in central iowa. average temperatures for this time of year is 31f, 0c, and we usually have received 8-12 inches of snow. but lately, the last nearly two weeks? holy shit, has it been great. looking back in my training log just now, i'm flipping back examining my weekly hours and kilometer totals. i have to go back to the first week of november to find a small week: just 230km, but my program only called for 9 hours, and that's about what i had [just reread: collarbone still mending, so that explains that. i forgot i was hospitalized in october. nice weather-induced forgetfulness]. but since then, here's the weekly totals: 237 km, 274 km, 257 km, 352 km, 300 km, 324 km, and for this week, with another day to go, 497 km. what the hell is this all about?

let me tell you. i've been fortunate to be able to ride with a lot of my teammates that i don't usually get to see this time of year [hollander between jobs, the robinson boys, paul, jimbo, and others--we're gonna have a very good 3s/4s group this season], and there have been the usual suspects [lippold, chad, donny, nathan] who have been putting in some long days and can be counted on to show up. but i've also been treated to the company of several riders who have been back for the holidays, including garrett, nick [the princeton asshole], acorn, sean noonan, randy reichart, and probably a couple others. it's great to catch up with them, talk about their plans for next season, where in the world they'll be racing, and such. the political discussions have had other voices, and that's always nice. several other riders have shown up largely due to this place, the gspot, which has proven to be quite successful as a tool to get folks out on their bikes, and riding with other folks. i've also been joined by several new riders, including little richard, and some great new buddies on the monday night fixie rides, including chris, tom, peter and billy, and every now and then, squirrel and steve the trackstand king of capitol city. sweet jane showed up once. every now and then, lou and pete show up and then go off together somewhere after a few miles. but they're still around, too.

but the groovy thing is that, as is normal for this time of year, we are doing lots of gravel riding. LOTS of it [80 milers--75% gravel--is not unusual]. we are mixing up the road rides, going places--gasp--we don't often go when the weather is nice . . .

. . .

[warning: soap box ahead which makes no fucking sense to me. seriously, it's stupid we ride the same goddamned roads all the time, but the collective stupidity of the riders around here baffles the hell out of me. individually folks are all about incorporating new routes, but when you get them all together, they become deer in headlights, afraid to vary from routine. splain that, lucy.]

. . .

and folks are having a great time. the miles roll along effortlessly, for the most part, although there has been a large number of bonks the past few days, and we LOVE that, kiddies, we do. LIVE to make others bonk. that's why i carry food: to give them AFTER it's too late.

right, garrett? little richard? others?

but the riding has been fantastic. eagles, deer, we saw a coyote today, enormous hawks,

actually friendly motorists, roads with hardly ANY traffic . . .

. . .

[guys, are you reading this? when i get on your cases for next spring and summer,

ASK THE FOLKS WHO RODE OUT EAST OF TOWN!!]

. . .

. . . and i remember why and how much i love cycling. i'm lifting weights now, and sometimes the weeks are pretty hefty, and the miles are long and the hills are a pain, but i just LOVE how it makes me feel. and i'm not getting all "i'm gonna eat flesh" or weird shit like that, but it's why cycling is so damned much fun.

you guys can ride your trainers in the basement, and you can do your off-weeks when the temperatures are 25-30 degrees above normal, but if you missed this shit this week, well, i'm sorry for you. really. not mean and vicious, just sorry. we've had a hell of a lot of fun out here. dcorn rode a few times, we made little richard late for home, we pissed off a few motorists, and a few cyclists, and we got some tough guy points.

the ride today was a "sacrifice" to the weather gods. they deserve it.

and so do we.

[hope you enjoyed the photos blogger wouldn't let me post.]

[goddammit]

busted, on video

apparently, over the years, i've had more difficulty controlling my sleep than i'd previously realized. thank goodness, my friends have kept an eye out for me, and have taken great measures to ensure my safety, notwithstanding the potentially devastating effects of narcolepsy. i guess my years of denial now make me feel a little bit silly, in light of this video proof.

makes me feel a wee bit silly, but it makes me REALLY appreciate my friends.

bruised, on film

many of us have experienced the joys and sorrows slipping off the saddle and on to the top tube.

this time of year, it's appropriate to call it the nutcracker suite.

well, here's one that will make ALL of us wince.

is this tempermental thing going to allow me to post again? have i sat in the corner long enough? have i atoned for my errors? no. but let's see if the damned place will allow me to put some fresh drivel on the site...

will the death of gerald ford outshine the death of james brown? i'll search youtube for gerald's best moves [a quick perusal of 500 videos from snl yields nand], and you, the faithful readers will vote.

if you like to gamble, and you think of yourself as a seer, then you'll LOVE this place.

Sex Machine

can this man work a crowd?
god DAMN!
what a musical genius.
this is NOT the val aire,
nor hoyt sherman!

James Brown

we've GOTTA get podium girls this season!

James Brown Olympia 1966

man, oh MAN!! the more i dig, the more amazing footage i find. this man is incredible. check out the footwork of his back-up singers. michael jackson has nothing on THESE guys!
a true showman, he was. listen to, and then buy, his old stuff. there's some great old studio and live work out there, especially "live at the apollo." nice story going around about the night he opened for mick jagger at the apollo. seems mick had to take several cigarette breaks during his set, just to calm his nerves. seems james brown tore the roof off the apollo, and mick had some might big shoes to fill--and feared he couldn't!

James Brown

jb from the ed sullivan show.
couple of classics.
damn, what moves.

JAMES BROWN

who could not love this man, and his music? miss ya, jb!

test

my christmas card to you . . .

i woke up last night, following my 5-hour, 130 km. gravel, sidewalk, trail, asphalt ride yesterday, at midnight to watch my new favorite christmas movie, "bad santa" [by the way, i can't believe they were able to assemble 2:30 of clean footage for this tame trailer] on comedy central [and THIS version was uncut and vulgar, according to the disclaimer. i thought it was good, clean fun].

anyway, while drinking hot chocolate and eating lefse--the central norway way--i felt myself overcome with the "reason for the season," and decided to send this card to all my readers.

it's an interactive christmas greeting i think you'll ALL enjoy!

[please take the time to follow all the way through.]

happy christmas and shit from all the kids at the orphanage.

another gift to all bike riders

it's that time of year--when biker boys and girls go on long bike rides, and because it's december and they're happy to be outside, they ride at a nice and easy pace, and talk about the things that make life interesting. things that are deep and critical: family, religion or lack thereof, politics, art, theater, what is the nature of beauty, is there a Good, in the platonic sense, what-have-you.

well, here's another gift to you all.

read this, study the photos, and talk about it on your next ride.

ya just gotta love young people.

[solid advice: don't do it in front of cameras.]

last minute gift ideas for her!!

. . .

there should be SOMETHING perfect here.

. . .

wanna be a better lover? spend some time here -

she'll thank you for it, later, and breathlessly

[speakers are necessary, chad!]

if you get really good at it, post some times.

enjoy . . .

you just have to love/fear/hate/pity/feel bad for the people of kansas, part 2

. . .

December 22, 2006 Editorial from the New York Times

. . .
Senator Brownback and the Judge
If most people were asked to list the qualities they want in a federal judge, few would include “has not attended a same-sex commitment ceremony.” But that was the outrageous litmus test that Senator Sam Brownback, Republican of Kansas, applied to Janet Neff, whose nomination he has been blocking. Mr. Brownback — who has presidential ambitions — now says he will allow a vote on her nomination. We hope that is a sign that gay-baiting is becoming less tolerable, even to Republican primary voters.
Judge Neff, a Michigan state court judge, attended the commitment ceremony of the daughter of a family who had lived next door to her for 26 years. She said that attending and delivering a homily was like joining in an important event in the life of one of her own daughters.
Mr. Brownback, one of the most conservative senators, considered it to be a disqualifier for the bench. Later, he made an equally objectionable offer: he would allow a vote on Judge Neff if she agreed to recuse herself from cases involving same-sex unions. The Senate does not get to tell federal judges what areas of law they may rule on.
Senator Brownback now seems to be calculating that even in the Republican Party, the sort of extreme bigotry he has shown toward gay people would not be a selling point. At a time when Vice President Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter is pregnant and President Bush has declared himself “happy for her,” Mr. Brownback’s hostility puts him far out on the political fringe.
Mr. Brownback says that although he will allow Judge Neff’s nomination to come to a vote, he is still likely to vote against her. If he does, he should be asked to explain his vote if he hits the presidential campaign trail. Whether someone has attended a same-sex commitment ceremony is not a worthy litmus test to impose on someone seeking an important office. Whether someone holds hateful views toward gay people certainly is.

. . .

by the way . . .

. . .

what's all this huff and puff about rosie and donald?

my holiday thoughts and wishes for you all

old addy and i had more in common than you might think!

HELP!!!

hey, wanna do a ROAD ride xmas morning? post a comment, let me know what you want to do. i'd rather not off-road it, but gravel would be GREAT!!!

oh, and happy holidays and shit...

John Lennon, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton and Mitch Mitchel

holy crap! a belated birthday gift from and to keith richards, who turned 63 yesterday. THIS is how i remember him! what a group of musicians! enjoy this rarity, and thanks, youtube!!!

still stumped? perfect for that special someone!

package requirements will vary, of course.

Black Sabbath - War Pigs (Live in Paris - 1970)

ahhhh.... takes me back to my high school daze: stacks of large marshall and fender amps, cheap drugs, a vibrant anti-war movement, and youthful ozzie. enjoy...

teaser for a post a couple down from here:

here is a recent shot of me riding gravel on my sweet, old ralph road bike, which recently completed a one-day cycling hat-trick. read all the posts for today to learn just exactly what the hell i mean by that!

i love that bike. i'm seen here sitting on noonan's wheel who is shown sitting on lou's wheel, which is getting dirtier that lou thought it would, when i told him there would only be a little bit of gravel on this road [there were several miles]. i love gravel, especially in mid-december in iowa WITH SHORT SLEEVES!!! [by the way, congrats to sean for his 17th place at collegiate cross nats today in rhode island.]

out and about in capitol city . . .

what the hell is THIS, and where was IT spotted?

have yuppies moved in, and are they threatening to ruin life as we have come to know it?

or is it just further proof that howard dean really IS planning to run again in 2008?

YEE HAW . . .

the ralph collection, only at the orphanage . . .

folks familiar with the iowa racing scene are at once familiar with the brand "ralph cycles" whether through socks, t-shirts, legend and lore, or from having actually ridden next to an actual ralph cycle. little is known about the history of the fellow responsible for these rare and exquisite bikes. even less is known about how one ever went about actually getting one. it's a small and tightly knit cadre of ralph loyalists. but it is a wide-spread one: ralph's have been spotted on the east coast, throughout the midwest, up and down the rocky mountain chain, on the west coast, and even in japan. it is often said that the largest collection of ralph cycles is to be seen on the ragby, during the last week of july. but that's not quite true. for years, the largest know aggregation of ralph cycles has been right here, in capitol city, in the bike room at the orphanage.

above is one of the earliest examples of the artist's work, in blue and white: a 50cm road version, with a rare braze-on front der hanger. most frames came in the clamp-on style. this frame dates from the early to mid-90s, and is made from a proprietary blend of steel/alloy tubing. it provided the reverend years of cycling comfort, and was ridden to countless victories and podium finishes throughout the midwest. it is retired.

above is its immediate successor, another ralph road bike, shown equipped with the woundup carbon fork which was the hallmark of the ralph marque. again, a beautiful 50cm in blue and white, with its very comfortable 73/73 geometry, this bike, as with all ralph bikes ever owned by the reverend, had a hundred-mile shakedown cruise. the reverend firmly believes that if a new bike can't deliver a comfortable century first time out, it isn't worth a shit. [bank on that advice when you buy your next $8,000 ride.] this valiant bike is STILL performing a yeoman's task. just today, the rev completed a hat-trick with this old work horse he now calls his "atr" -- all terrain ralph. we rode with lou, miss jane, paul v from ames, and rick [whose ne'er-do-well friends bailed on him] and covered road miles, then gravel, and finally some great singletrack at raccoon river valley park, followed by more single track at denman's at the science center. this bike--i LOVE it--handled ALL of the challenges of the day in fine fashion. its early-90s dura ace downtube shifters were given a fine workout through sticky mud and dry, deep sand, and the little 21C tires treated me well. although i have a better understanding why we don't do cross and mountain biking with slicks! this bike will be ridden and raced for the foreseeable future. it's a stud's bike, and has accumulated more "tough guy" points than most of you riders around these parts, i shit you not.

above is the newest of my ralphs: an aluminum single-speed cyclocross bike, with track-style rear drop-outs. it dates from october, 2000, and was built up by, of course, my man fry guy, who had many little tricks to execute to meet my bizarre expectations. as i recall, one of the most frustrating features was the rear brake set-up. but once done, no changes have been needed. in fact, the only thing i've changed since this thing rolled out of the door was to install a larger chainring, from a 38 to a 46, i believe. sweet speed: i think 175 cranks, can't recall the rear cog. none of that shit matters: it is extremely light, maneuverable, agile, comfy [yes, i did the 100 miler break-in], and beautiful. love this bike, too. despite the broken nose it delivered in mid-october, 2000, and the broken clavicle, ribs and collapsed lung it provided in october, 2006. pilot error, too much speed for the circumstances. but, goddamn it's fun!!

the orphanage was privileged recently to be the owner of this fine example of ralphdom: an orange with yellow scandium machine actually rumored to have been ridden by the man himself. unfortunately, this bike proved to be too much bike for the reverend, and it is now the prized possession of a certain "mr. tony" who promises to debut a track-worthy version later this next spring. the orange color is significant, and hopefully mr. tony will maintain the original color scheme, as the very first ralph bicycles were orange, as were the first generation socks and t-shirts. rumors persist about a re-issuance of ralphwear, although they most likely will be bootlegged articles. stay tuned to the daily sermonette for more details about ralph clothing.

track bike? you finally got one?

yup, and here it is...

a nice little motobecane, purchased new, from "sprtymama" on eBay, for about $350 including shipping. i ditched the pedals, saddle, seatpost, bars and stem for old campy nuevo record pedals and cinelli toe clips, american classic seat post, selle san marco concor saddle, and cinelli bars and stem, and i'm set. i really recommend these bikes: cheap, several sizes, and several colors from which to choose. lightweight, comfy. did i say cheap?

here are the two latest fixies in the orphanage: mr. moto and my very fine late-60s schwinn racer. god, how i love that schwinn. it is remarkably comfortable [note the steve bauer-like geometry], and upside-down original handlebars with the real deal handgrips. sporty bmx saddle tops it off; kickstand makes it the envy of all my friends.

and what does the well-heeled cyclist wear while fixie spinning? how about a pair of maybe early 80s [or even late 70s] duegi lace-up racing shoes? these are so modern they came with state of the art breathable mesh uppers for the ultimate in comfort. [reverend's tip: don't throw ANYTHING away!] there you have it, my fixie shit for 2007 [and mostly likely through 2027]. thanks for asking!!

i've been busy . . .

but i've got lots of great ideas to write about.

i'll get to it soon...really. i just have a couple projects to finish.

the PERFECT gift . . . for the right person

still stumped for that hard to buy-for friend?

LOOK NO MORE!!!

seriously . . .

i wonder who will be the first to score one?

* * * * *

quote of the day

"many people do not understand that cycling is like a disease," continued aitor gonzález. "when you compete, your organism deteriorates, and to be able to maintain healthful analytical values, it is necessary to help the body; that is, a rider who finishes the tour without any medical aid, finishes it ill; with anemia values of testosterone like a woman; with anaemia and a series of pathological symptoms."

--from cyclingnews.com, december 13, 2006

. . . . .

TINA MARIE BROWN
Des Moines
Tina Marie Brown, 46, was stolen from us in a tragic accident on Friday, December 8, 2006. A memorial service will be held 9 a.m. Thursday, December 14, 2006 at Hamilton's Funeral Home, 605 Lyon Street. Visitation will be held Wednesday from 5 to 8 p.m. at the funeral home.
Tina was born May 19, 1960 to Larry and Leta Brown. She will be remembered for her love of her children and granddaughter; her free spirit; and her willingness to help anyone in need.
Tina is survived by her children, Samuel (Maria) Hill and Jadi (John Wright) Brown; granddaughter, Dakoda Wright; mother, Leta Brown; stepfather, Robert Frye; sisters, LeAnna (Peary) Sinopoli, Brenda (William) Campbell, and Jessica (Brian) Baber; brothers, Joe (Colleen) Brown and Brad (Ashley) Brown; and significant other, John Vitiritto. She was preceded in death by her father, Larry Brown.
Memorial contributions may be given to the family.

. . .

. . .

. . .

i have not yet heard from the family, but tentative plans call for cyclists to meet on the west side [front] of the state capitol building at 830 am thursday, and then proceed to the hamilton funeral home in time for the 900 am service. PLEASE make all efforts to attend, folks. the next one could be for you. ms. brown was struck and left for dead by a hit and run motorist friday night at 1100 pm on the south side of des moines, near the s.e.14th street hy-vee. police are looking for "a maroon vehicle." this does not look good. anyone interested in attending the visitation wednesday evening should post a comment here. as a further show of support, post your thoughts here, and i will pass them along to the family.

thanks.

musings on monday

want to enjoy something that is neither political nor cycling related? then click here:

http://badaboo.free.fr/merryxmas.swf

yesterday's ride... a group of team green riders [apparently we are the southern alliance?] set off to explore the proposed fairground crit course. seven of us ultimately met there, and did a few laps. it's different than the course some of the old-timers will remember. this version includes the climb to grandpa's barn, or whatever it's called, but continues into the campgrounds, and around to the north. it then returns to the fairgrounds proper by turning left at the little office/store, and rolling down the hill past the bunny and bird barn. a sharp, VERY tricky left-hander then takes you back up the hill. there are a couple options there; one is hard, the other, harder. it's going to be fun, and will mark quite a memorable return to this great venue. mark your calendars [march 31-april 1, the new second-half of the altoona weekend, replacing the water works criterium--i think. who knows; it's december.]

then we intrepid explorers ventured by gravel to mitchelville, to check the course for the march chia chad gravel series, rumored to be the site of a new state championship. rolling north out of town on the only hard surface on the route [which is certain to be wind-swept in march], we dive east for maybe 13-15 miles of limestone hell. no kidding. wrap your bars and your balls for this race. there's a stretch of road that climbs 200+ feet in less than 3/4 mile. we will be at the mercy of the county road crews and ma nature.

you off-roadies and trans-iowa wannabes need to be here march 10, 17, 24.yes, the day before kent park. we'll be giving vouchers for your accumulated winter tough guy points. this is starting off to be a great winter season of riding, folks, and bodes well for next year. and you inside trainer and roller racers? keep it up.

this may be the most amazing thing you've ever seen!!!!

i pity the fool who doesn't watch!

Clinton Got a Blow Job [with Visuals]

i'm giving gifts all over the place. this one's for all my political friends!

what are MY friends and teammates are getting for christmas???

hint, hint...

i hope they enjoy it as much i think they should!

SOUL Sixtysix - land of 1000 dances - live

hot soul on a cold morning!

enjoy...

doggie update

temperature at 600 am: 5* F, -20*C

windchill at 600 am: -20*F, -31*C

my dogs are STILL outside, frantically chasing each other around

the german obstacle course i have erected just for their pleasure...

those dogs are crazy!!

in its final form--the nutcracker, on bike parts, with visuals.

check it out, you WILL enjoy it!!

things i have contemplated lately . . .

[note: this is just an informative article]

Radiation-Pattern Baldness - How come that Russian spy still had eyebrows?

By Melonyce McAfee

Former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko died recently from the effects of radiation poisoning. Photographs of the ex-operative on his deathbed show a sickly man with a bald head but a pair of seemingly healthy eyebrows. Does radiation affect only the hair on your scalp?
No. Given enough time, severe radiation poisoning such as Litvinenko's would likely have affected the hair all over his body. Radiation causes hair loss because it tends to damage fast-growing cells like those of the germinal layer of the hair follicle. But there's likely to be more hair follicles engaged in active growth at any given time on your head than in your eyebrow region. (That's why people have to cut their hair more often than they trim their eyebrows.) This fact might explain why people who are undergoing chemotherapy—or who get poisoned with polonium-210—seem to lose hair from their scalp first.
Just because you're exposed to radiation doesn't necessarily mean you'll lose your hair, though. Whether your hair falls out can depend on what element you came into contact with and in what dosage. Litvinenko was exposed to short-range alpha radioactivity, from a source that traveled through the subdermal cells of his entire body. People who receive external-beam X-ray radiation tend to lose hair only on the parts of their bodies that were directly exposed. The effects of chemotherapy can also vary, depending on the type of chemo administered.
Hair-follicle damage looks dramatic, but most of the time it's not permanent. Had Litvinenko survived and recovered, he would probably have regrown his hair in two or three months. But radiation can be deadly for all rapidly dividing cells, such as those in bone marrow or the gastrointestinal tract. Litvinenko died as a result of bone marrow damage and the loss of white blood cells.

[the reverend says: when you start to lose something you once had in abundance, you appreciate more that which you still have, and notice others who have less... cycling fitness, for example. and you tend to do what you can to replenish your stock.]

Gay Cheney pregnant
December 07, 2006
WASHINGTON: Mary Cheney, the gay daughter of US Vice-President Dick Cheney and wife Lynne, is pregnant.
Mary Cheney, 37, and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, 45, are "ecstatic" about the baby, due in late spring, The Washington Post reported last night, quoting a source close to the couple.
The Vice-President's other, older daughter, Elizabeth Cheney, is on leave as deputy assistant secretary of state before having her fifth child with her husband in July.
There was no announcement of either daughter's pregnancy from the Vice-President's office, but the Post quoted spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride as saying Mr and Mrs Cheney were "looking forward with eager anticipation to the arrival of their sixth grandchild".
The Post quoted its source as saying the circumstances of Mary Cheney's pregnancy would remain private.

[the reverend says: i'm just thinking of the prayers that would be said around the christmas table this year...by not just cheney, but by ALL his hypocritical republican cronies. notwithstanding my differences with mary cheney politcally--she supported bush, both times--i congratulate her and her partner of FIFTEEN YEARS family values.]

it's beginning to sound a lot like

"a christmas story"

better than "it's a wonderful life"

and more realistic than "the bachelor" and "survivor"

"a christmas story" may very well be the key to economic survival

to the city of cleveland. but that doesn't matter to us.

what does matter are these sound clips from the movie, ranked as the top ten by

someone who is a lot more whacked out by it than the rest of us.

#10 "You used up all the glue on purpose."
#9 "Electric sex gleeming in the window..."
#8 "Deliver a bowling alley..."
#7 "You'll shoot your eye out..."
#6 "Spare tires..."
#5 "Meatloaf..."
#4 "That is the ugliest lamp..."
#3 "Icicles have been known to kill..."
#2 "Ohhhh Fu-u-u-u-u-dge..."
#1 "Fra-jee-lay! It must be Italian..."
Bonus Clip -- Deck the Halls with what?

i've been to the rock and roll hall of fame several times;

NEXT time i'm in the city by the lake, i'm gonna have roast duck,

and finally buy my "official red ryder 200 shot carbine action range model air rifle."

Kansas Outlaws Practice Of Evolution

i went on a little gravel ride tonight with a couple teammates. nothing special; just some buddies riding bikes, eating some dust, talking some shit, dodging trucks pulling trailers, looking for the moon, trying to find new roads and new hills. you know: december bike riding in iowa. it was 40-some degrees today, and we rolled out of town with a brilliant red sunset. ["red at night: sailor's delight" - note to self: shower, and go looking for a navyette. is that what they call them?] so we talked about lots of things, the three of us. light-hearted banter, joking about sports, the pros and cons of dusty versus muddy paris-roubaixs, and whether we preferred blue or white holiday lighting schemes. really pretty much talked about everything. except the latest news out of kansas. they've out-done themselves, and i'm thinking of moving there.

NEWS FLASH!!!

one of the topics we discussed was our old friend, scot dickson, who currently resides in delaware. here, in its entirety, is the very first email i opened after posting the above; it was sent to several friends [scot used to live in kansas; i thought of him when i posted that bit of news.]

Walt,
Yesterday I needed to dress warmly since the temp reached only 35 which was a big shock after Friday's 74. So I dug into the time capsule to find something warm. I found a never-worn red Lambertini winter cycling top and bottom that I had won at a San Antonio crit April 22, 1979. That makes the suit older than you Walt. The red is so bright that you could ride at night without lights. I need to show up on one of the big weekend rides wearing this outfit along with a hairnet (strap helmet) astride my 1976 custom Bornstein frame. I also have some new/old stock official National Team clothing acquired from Ed Burke in 1979 that will need to make an appearance.
Scott

today's sermonette

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for awhile, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast. [you young punks need to take notes.]

my source is on a roll today: it's time to post this fella, with the following discalimer: while the mostly reverend is aware of, and sympathetic to, the many types and forms of inspiration and guidance that motivates and fills the hearts of clerics everywhere, the mostly reverend himself does NOT feel that such expressions and emanations from him are NOT holy or divine in nature.

however, i DO wholly endorse the expressions of this man, who bares his soul for nearly 15 seconds of fame. truly an inspired person, on a mission from god, and i hope his wings carry him quickly and safely away.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR BUSH:

gimme a B!

gimme a U!

gimme a S!

gimme an H!

what's that spell?

no, really: what DOES that spell?

here's a sweet little something i've been saving for just such a time

as this: click here.

it's a couple years old, but let's just see how well

it predicted the future!!

[plus, click on her, to better understand my

love of sport.]

who IS this woman, and

why does she keep haunting my dreams?

is she one of these women?

and why do i feel that without subtitles i would completely miss the point of this? but why do i feel an understanding of the spanish language is NOT needed to appreciate this blog? [but any translations would be looked kindly upon!]

third attempt here . . . for a good time, click on the link which follows:

http://images2.jokaroo.net/videos/grandpajapan.wmv

and maybe it will work!

bobby

the movie, bobby, starring an amazing all-star cast

who all waived their standard fees and agreed to work for scale

just to be a part of this movie, was released friday, december 1.

i've not seen it yet. but unlike most movies about people or events that i have witnessed, experienced, lived through, or the such, i will see this one.

bobby kennedy was the last, true, great hope for the true spirit of this country, the standard bearer by which i measure all politicians and people. his death marked a very tragic closing of a period of not just hope and optimism, but of access and opportunity for change.

i, for one, hope that period returns.

and soon.

here's what one newspaper had to say about "bobby."
and you can watch a trailer from "bobby" here.

or at the link below...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0308055/trailers-screenplay-E29342-10-

s i c k

i hate this crap . . .

you go to sleep feeling fine, and then you wake up

and feel like shit.

all i want to do is ride my bike,

and feel normal.

i don't understand how some folks enjoy feeling like shit

all the time.

plus, i'm out of coffee. used all of mine yesterday at a team meeting,

and as evidence of my ill health, i spilled grounds in the maker,

and the coffee didn't brew correctly.

waaaaaaa.......

by the way, i DO intend to attend the iowa state-iowa dual today.

go clones!

this really is a clash between two different types of programs:

iowa is evil; iowa state is good.

like the star trek episode i saw yesterday.

today's youth--WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?

i've got a lot of things on my chest today, and

they all have to do with misspent youth.

why, just check out this article. old folks aren't

even safe riding bicycles these days!

and get this! these kids refuse to grow up!

doesn't he know how stupid she looks?

i guess i rest my case.