where i swear i observed the following:
the woman in line ahead of me had selected: a half-gallon of skim milk,
a carton of eggs, a half-gallon of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce,
a 1 lb. bag of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
as she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out,
a fellow was standing at the end of the checkout line
watching her every move.
while the cashier was ringing up the purchases,
the slightly inebriated man calmly stated, "you must be single."
the woman was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but i was intrigued by the derelict's intuition,
since i, too, am single, and frankly,
i began looking over MY selections as well.
the woman looked at the six items on the belt
and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections
that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
curiosity was obviously getting the better of her, and she said,
"well, you know what? you're absolutely right.
but how on earth did you know that?"
the man replied, "'cause you're ugly."
* * * *
* * * *
happy saint paddy's day, y'all!