MY DEAR FRIEND--
I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE. I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD A CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRASNFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANFER IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU. I AM WORKING WITH MR PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR THE UBS WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS SENATOR YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990s. THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE. THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. OUR SOON TO BE DEPOSED PRESIDENT GEORGE W BUSH HAS SAID SO IN A PUBLIC SPEECH. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. I AM PERSONALLY AT RISK OF BEING PLACED UNDER HOUSE ARREST BY THE MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITION PARTY. MY FAMILY LAWWER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRASNFERRED. AS CONSIDERATION FOR YOUR SMALL EFFORTS IN THIS MATTER YOU WILL BE RICHLY REWARDED BY SHORT TERM GAIN FOLLOWED BY GENERATIONS OF INCREASED REGULATION AND OF INCREASED TAX BURDEN ON YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN. PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION I WILL RESPONDWITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS. YOURS FAITHFULLY, MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON, IN SERVICE OF GEORGE W BUSH
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