music for your mind...

one hell of a show, santa monica, 1972

separated at birth?

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and Mr. Obama, who took a few minutes on a day when he was setting a new course for the war in Afghanistan to express appreciation for, among other things, Mr. Biden’s willingness to speak his mind.
“There’s, I think, an institutional barrier sometimes to truth-telling in front of the president,” Mr. Obama said. “Joe is very good about sometimes articulating what’s on other people’s minds, or things that they’ve said in private conversations that people have been less willing to say in public. Joe, in that sense, can help stir the pot.”

******

NOW do you understand why i love joe biden?

beautiful music for an uncertain day

transport

speaking of transporters, enjoy this; i did.

Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

tip to bart.

file under: DUH!

it's not like i haven't been telling you--and selling you--this FOR YEARS!!

from last week's shoot-out

to my knowledge, this is the only photo in existence of the inaugural "death squad 5000 shoot out race." here, an unknown rassy's rider attempts to escape. such attacks were unsuccessful, so i've been told.

dietary tips from the annihilator's handbook

today's tip: #17, recovery essentials

[click on image to reveal entire secret]

a rainy day at the orphanage

the dogs have spent all winter working the west 40, getting ready for this spring's growing season. wish us luck.

fitness to finish

as the amazing finish to milano-sanremo unfolds, you'll see haussler, hushovd, and cavendish all at the right side of the screen. haussler attacks, and gets a huge gap. moments later, canvendish gives what what would appear to be a futile chase. haussler likely would have won, but he moves to his right, opening a gap on his left for the fast charging cavendishm who shoots right through. follow each of them AFTER the finish: you'll see haussler struggle to dismount, and then fall to his knees, as cavendish gleefully embraces teammates, still full of energy. kid's gonna have a great season, and i'd bet willing to be, a pretty damned fair career.

Introducing: DESTRO'S ELITE TROOPER

Unassuming "Annihilator," as he might be seen tooling around town

in his vintage corvette, between shifts as a hard-sell telephone solicitor.Annihilator, an elite trooper chosen from the ranks of the Iron Grenadiers--the enemy--had to be ready at a moment's notice to do the bidding of DESTRO, in his world-wide campaign against G.I. JOE. Annihilator came with a black sub-machine gun, a gray backpack, a two piece gray helicopter blade set-up, a black gun (that attached to the backpack), and a black handle (that attached to the backpack). when dressed and armed for battle, THIS is the much-feared Annihilator.No known variations of the Annihilator action figure are known to exist. Approach with caution; consider Annihilator armed and dangerous.

not just good news, GREAT news!!

my friends g pickle and cody [that's just two folks, not three] are just weeks away from opening "30th century bicycle," their brand new bike shop in iowa city. located at 310 east prentiss, this small, unassuming shop is located in the heart of the blinky light district in iowa city, just behind the vine on south gilbert. steve and cody are hoping to be open by old capitol weekend, and the way they do things, i bet they will. i am just excited and happy as hell not only for steve and cody, but for the entire iowa city and iowa cycling population. why? because of steve and cody. they are cyclists at heart; they live it.
they GET it.
both have been instrumental to the success of the iowa city bike library, both are long-time bike mechanics and sales people [in a good way--recall the BL connection], both have labored years in other are bike shops [so they know and have seen good and bad, right and wrong], and not only is steve an eagle scout, he was also the undisputed winner of a major 30+ cycling race event AND the very first person EVERY to be awarded [after much non-ado] the cup o' dirt for completing 12 one-hundred mile GRAVEL centuries in a calendar year a couple years ago.
cody is an incredibly talented artist and is a pretty damned good cyclist in her own right, and i suspect a bit too smart to get hooked by the racing thing.
go here to learn more about 30 cent bikes, and to follow their progress. we at the orphanage [g pickle painted it purple a few years ago] wish them nothing but the best of luck.
oh, and is my bike done yet?

hawkeye sportsmanship

guess who beat metcalf the last time he was beaten?
check the clock, by the way... [sorry bout the music]

justice prevails in "driving while black" trial

a young des moines couple who claimed they were brutalized by two des moines police officers in the latest "driving while black" incident were declared to be not guilty of interference with official acts by a polk county jury today. if you don't understand my joy at the jury verdict, and my disgust with the actions of these two officers, whom i feel should be criminally charged themelves, re-read the story carefully, but imagine you are the defendant, and instead of police, insert "angry motorist." you'll have a clearer picture of why this is a rare instance where "the system" beats "the man," and why i do what i do, and ride like i ride.

the truth about shoot outs

back when i was a kid...

speaking of old [see the following post], i brought the change in from my dashboard, and among the pennies, i found a 1945 wheat penny. i don't know why it is, but i can spot these things in a handful of coins, or in the cash drawer at my local coffee shop, back when i was a barista, or wherever. i toss such oddities in a little place, where i have a handful of old coins, dollar bills [silver certificates and other no-longer-issued styles] and things. makes no sense, but i just like the little evolution of money. i mourned--and still do--the loss of the old model t from the ten dollar bill, but in years to come, will appreciate the other eventually outdated styles of cash. no biggie, but as i get older, these little quirks take me back to when quarters were coins, not sandwiches, and jfk regularly appeared in your change, and when, well, you get it.

okay, one more: and when one nickel got you a substantial hersey's bar, or a bottle of pop, and a dime got you both, with two cents back for the bottle.

fitness: the old new is the new you

regular readers of today's sermonette are familiar with my fabulous, no-fail weight loss system, the "skip a meal, fat ass diet"--as seen on oprah--and for years have deluged me with requests--pleaded with me, actually--that i reveal my til-now secret everyday workout plan, to complement what i call SAMFA [Skip A Meal Fat Ass].

well, today it can be shown [at left]. as our secretary of state long ago told us, it takes a village.

some assembly required, naturally.

march 17th

why i love frazz:

click on image to view the ENTIRE strip. go here to read frazz on a daily basis. you should take some time to catch up; frazz rides bikes, and is a pretty cool comic. read it and yehuda regularly.

a good idea from today's sermonette

the weather is nice, and a young man's--and woman's--fancy turns to thoughts of...OH NO YOU DON'T!!!

my annual springtime public service announcement

click here as if your very life depends upon it

first cuts

stay tuned for the whole episode. jon stewart at his BEST!

don't worry: i'm not selling MY bikes 'n shit--

--because i've already SOWN my seeds.

look here to view what's sprung up already!

http://www.kimwestfanclub.com/

my line of infant and toddler clothing my line of one-of-a-kind ceramics

and of course, my photography!
.....
the secret to a long life--a fulfilling life--as a competitive cyclist is finding something that gives you pleasure, and allows expression of your non-competitive side. i have, and i want to share my passion with you now, at the aptly named "kimwestfanclub.com"

my treat to you!!

enjoy

spring fever hits capitol city!!

[click to enlarge]

the recent wave of outdoor cycling, with its promise of sunshine and spring-like weather, and its sucker-punch of cold, wet, wind and more cold and wet, has apparently left in its wake an epidemic of kids feeling shitty. above is a sneak-peak inside the sick bay [taken through the glass window in the germ-free door] at the all9yards training facility in downtown mitchelville. the team's medical staff assures us that all will be back in the green for this weekend's gravel race #2, saturday at 900 am. i understand that the punk girls will be unable to attend, as their training camp in race-hardened tulsa has them getting some ironically out-of-state last-minute miles before their assault on the iowa race calendar. my sources tell me that bikes to you has their garmin-gps in place, and are ready to take no prisoners without maps.

a non-political post

[hey, i just do the google searches; i'm not the one who shoots these photos!]

i'm a member of the think tank at the american mustache institute. at a recent think-in, we discovered and discussed this group. i mention this not as an endorsement, but in an effort to help other people think out of the box, or package, as it were. but they do deserve a fair shake.

weather futures

thursday 3/12: 35F, e @ 7
friday 3/13: 46F, ssw @ 7
saturday 3/14: 48F, s @ 7 all9yards gravel race #2
sunday 3/15: 49F, ese @ 6
monday 3/16: 48F, ne @ 8
tuesday 3/17: 52F, nw @ 9 saint patty's day ride?
wednesday 3/18: 51F, wnw @ 10
thursday 3/19: 54F, e @ 8
friday 3/20: 53F, n @ 10
.....
please put your rollers away and come out and play!!

about last night

it was like this...

...except it was in des moines, not rock island. oh, and it was colder, wetter, windier, and there were just TWO of us. reminded ME a little of all those roller rides in my basement this past winter. except they were outside, and colder, wetter, and windier than actual roller rides. and sometimes, there were more than two of us. gonna be a weird spring, i'm thinking.

hey, where we gonna meet once it IS nice enough for the rest of you to join us? someone mentioned the bike kollective, at 617 grand. they have a bathroom, a pump, tubes and GU, and a nice central location... i'm just thinking out loud, you see.

spring is near, the birds are already flying

from my various intertubes sources, this early-season account of improving relations between motorists and bicyclists comes from the manhattan, kansas area. i've edited out the email info, but here's what i know:
.....
3.10.09, 1043 am: This is from two of my riding buddies in Manhattan, KS., Kyle Arnold and Dr. Charlie Gillum. This incident happened about 1 mile east of Wabaunsee where both the Jag E-Type and Healey had undergone engine work. Kick-boxer Charlie is also the source of many entertaining e-mails. --scott
.....
3.10.09, 634 am: Kyle is actually being generous to this guy. We all noted after the incident; it WAS NOT a no passing zone, as he was yelling. He had a long straight away and nar –a-car-in-sight. And he knew that. His intentions were to screw with us. All the time Kyle was very calmly (smiling) waving him around…he just kept leaning on the horn and cussing us. We were all over hugging the ditch. He could have gone by easily at any time.
When he sped up and swerved right in front of Kyle and slammed breaks on, there was no way anyone could have avoided the crash. He was obviously intending to hurt Kyle.
When the big dumb ox jumped out of the car letting us know he intended to kick our ass, we were all suppose to take one look at him and then cower down and apologize for being on his road in the first place. Once he realized we were more than happy to oblige his request for fist-ta-cuffs, he quickly showed his true colors….yellow. Grizzly cowered back into the car and drove off.
And if you guys took the time to read..”bikers fashion weekly” you would have noted that my mismatched, miss colored, missed style bike gloves went perfectly with my taped up tri-bars and taped up shoes. It is not easy for one to stay on the fashion edge…but, I try. --Charlie
.....
3.09.09, 602 pm: Most of you missed out on the now famous "Saturday Breakfast Ride" to Wamego so here is the recap story chronicling the kind of epic excitement we experience on such rides. I hope that as the weather continues to improve this spring, we will see many of you out enjoying this beautiful ride.
Saturday 3/7/2009
It was a balmy 63 degrees when we departed the mall parking lot near Whiskey Creek around 7:34 am. It was just Charlie, Trey, David and myself this week and we were slightly worried about the chance for rain. We established a fast pace, especially for such an early season ride. We each took long pulls keeping the tempo high through Zeandale and on into Wabaunsee County. We were making good time; our fear of rain had diminished. We made the gentle left and right turns and approached the cemetery just a mile or so before Hwy 99. (For those of you that remember: this is the exact area where I lost major amounts of skin last year when I collided into Larry at 30+mph.) I was in the front, pulling us up the gradual hill toward the cemetery. Charlie had said pull to the top of the hill and then he would take over. There was a head and cross wind and it had gotten colder, so I was out in the middle of our lane making sure the riders behind me were not being guttered.
I then heard the call "car back!".
As usual, I moved over and we went to pure single file. I looked up the road, all clear, and then motioned to the driver that it was safe to pass. After a short while I looked back again and the white truck was still behind us, so I motioned again. The white truck started to pass but then pulled up beside us and the window came down. I got ready....... The driver from the truck yelled: "It's a fucking no passing zone......a fucking no passing zone....." I said calmly, "I'm just letting you know it's safe to pass us, you don't have to pass" All the while thinking, gosh it was one thing passing in a no passing zone, but pulling up beside us to yell is a bit more unsafe....
For those of you that don't know me, know that I've been biking seriously for many years now. I seen a lot, been buzzed many times and have probably had the F word yelled my way 20+ times while on my bike. I've also hit birds while biking and had the other bird flown toward me many times more. So this was absolutely nothing new.... I've learned and still believe that the best thing we (bikers) can do is just waive back at these asses as if they are our best friends. So this is the approach I take.
Now back to the story....I was already a bit tired from pulling hard up the hill, so what happened next is a bit blurry.... The truck accelerated very quickly and I figured that was the end of it. Then the truck swerved hard in front of us and his break lights came on. I remember seeing the break lights and thinking, this guy is just being a jerk and is tapping the breaks to freak us out. All of a sudden I realized he was actually breaking HARD and stopping right in front of us. I yelled to the guys behind and laid on my breaks as hard as possible, yet at that moment I knew I was going down and was likely going to be hitting this truck. I locked up my rear break, leaned and fishtailed my back end around before smacking into the truck. I flipped and rolled into the ditch yet again!!!! Yet unlike last time, I was mostly unharmed.
The next thing I remember is this large 6'5 300++ pound 55 year old Grizzly Adams dude jumping out of his white truck yelling "I'm going to kick some ass!!!" He was spouting off something about bikers should not be on his road blah blah blah... And then there was 5'10 160 pound (race weight) spandex clad Charlie Gillium flipping his biking shoes off, yelling back: "Bring it on!!!! We'll see who's ass gets kicked!!!!!!" (Charlie was a competitive kick boxer in his earlier years!) I'm now totally beyond shock, and in disbelief!!!
Grizzly has a lady friend in his truck so I try to talk to her, hoping she may be rational and understanding. I say, you know we can't just stop that fast. I just ran into the back of your truck and my bike is messed up and it may cost money to repair. She spouts back: "We've had problems with you bikers before!!!"
I decide this is hopeless, I yell to David and Trey to get the license plate and I pull out the phone and dial 911. Charlie is waiting for Mr. Grizzly to make the first move. I get the 911 dispatch lady on the phone and start explaining about the road rage and my messed up bike. I remember yelling the tag number and telling the dispatch lady to send help.
The next thing I know Grizzly dude and the white truck are speeding away!!!
I guess Charlie with fists in the air and the two different biking gloves (one long fingered, one short) scared him off!!! Yeah Charlie!!!! (side note: I am 100% certain Charlie really would have kicked his ass had it gone that far!!)
So I have to get to work now, but I'm still talking to the police and am expecting a call tomorrow. My rear Power Tap wheel is messed up, and I'm sure Mr. Grizzly is not going to enjoy those higher insurance premiums after buying me a new wheel and having a road rage report on his record! I'm thankful that no one use injured and still in shock from the ordeal!
More to follow. Stay safe out there! --Kyle
.....
gee, if only they had a 5 foot safety bubble in kansas!! --me

the second-most interesting news tidbit of the day

april showers bring may flowers,

what does THIS weather bring?

march madness, of course!!

i've taken the cure; have you?

it's a long story, but here's a long story...

remind me to tell you next time we ride...

change we can believe in comes to ragby!

the route maps were released today by the register.
although they do show the roads to be ridden this year,
they fail to reveal what is likely to happen this year: ragby 2009 coincides with the annual iowa observance of the world naked bike ride, which kicked off yesterday in australia and south africa, and will continue in the southern hemisphere through march, and begin in the northern hemisphere in june.

technical difficulties

here: kill some time, but be honest!

long story short: i found this quiz.
take it; it's harmless, free,
and mildly interesting in what it tells about you,
and about folks where you live.
[hint: they're not getting much.]

good tunes to ya!

i took a friend to see the derek trucks band saturday night; she was unfamiliar with derek, the band, his wife susan, and the allman brothers. i know: where DO i find these people. we spent time with them on the bus following the show, she had a great time and all that, but she still is wondering about them.
i sent her several links, including this one, showing susan, derek, warren, and the whole band doing a knock-out cover of "the weight" [only thing finer is adding the memphis horns].
so enjoy this one, and put the load right on me.

some things

there are some things i understand, some things that i don't fully understand, and some things that just aren't worth trying to understand.
"i have a radio show" is a perfect example.
"rush limbaugh is the voice and the intellectual force and energy behind the republican party" is another.
"rush and kim have radio shows on the clear channel radio network."
it's a big old crazy mixed-up world.

economics 101, or grad school seminar

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

the bicyclist's bill of rights, and why it is BAD BAD BAD

the great debate on the hill these days, as it relates to bicyclists, and so long as you don't count [fill in the blanks for things considered much more important than riding a bicycle in the minds of lawmakers] is the whether or not the state legislature should adopt what is ironically called the bicyclist's bill of rights.
upon close examination, rather than ENHANCE the rights of bicycle riders, this proposal REDUCES or ELIMINATES the status of bicyclists legally, while doing much more immeasurable harm to us even before the bill is approved--if it gets approved. the bill faces an uncertain future at best in the statehouse.
i've included a link to the text of the bill.
read it carefully, and you'll be as pissed off as i am about it. just scan it, or ignore it, and you'll believe, as its author and chief lobbyist for the iowa bike coalition mark wyatt does, that it's the best thing to happen to iowa bicyclists since indoor plumbing.
section-by-section analysis:
1-1, section 1--i'm cool with this one, which asserts the bicyclist's right to operate on the streets or highways.
1-9, section 2--diminishes a bicycle's right to use a narrow lane. in other words, if the lane is narrow, the car can squeeze us out, rather than be prohibited from passing us. BULLSHIT.
1-19, section 3--passing a bike, the infamous 5' bubble. this new language takes away our right to occupy the ENTIRE lane. BULLSHIT.
2-3, section 4--following too closely. the language "reasonable" and "prudent" "with due regard to traffic and speed" provides enough language to fit conveniently up our asses. guess who wins THIS argument, kiddies?
2-13, section 5--please don't honk at me. gee, i couldn't find the penalty provision for this one.
2-21, section 6--hand and arm signals. guess what, our bill of rights guarantees our right to signal with our right arms. praise mark from whom all blessings flow. of all the things i've been hassled by cops about over the years, i've NEVER been given THIS shit. i don't think even the cops knew about this one. get real.
2-35, section 7--when crossing sidewalk or trail, drivers must yield, unless there is a sign posted. translation: watch for a blossoming of "trail users must stop" signs.
3-27, section 8--an open door policy? "darwin at work," or "dumb and dumber?"
4-1, section 9--kill a biker, only 1G.
4-15, section 10--a special simple misdemeanor fine reduced from $150 or more to just $25, or . . .
4-21, section 11-- . . . $35 for the open door thing. hey, bikies: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM AN OPEN CAR DOOR. even better, ride with care as you pass a parked car. DON'T be a dumbass.
this bill has NO provisions for public awareness for the motoring public, nor does it mention the need to education law enforcement. city police, county deputies, and state patrol officers, as well as city and county attorneys would ALL benefit greatly from several hours of training about the currently available laws as they relate to the legal operation of bicycles in iowa.
i've said it before, i'm saying it now, and i'll KEEP saying it: this bill is WRONG. that mark wyatt is its daddy is further proof that he doesn't understand the needs of ALL bicyclists, and that the iowa bike coalition could be much better served with someone else at the helm. saying that is like saying that anyone would be better than dubya in the white house, isn't it? couldn't do worse, right?

thought for the day

i've not been posting much lately.

yes, i can hear the mixed responses. i've been busy doing stuff, and much of it has to do with cycling: with the radio show, at the legislature and that idiotic bill of rights thing, for the kollective [it's volunteer "season" and we're getting LOTS of folks to come down on friday nights--have YOU?], and with an area elementary school, where we are attempting to build a cycling club to include students, parents, faculty and staff.

there are some very cool things just on and over the horizon, though, and although i can't officially announce anything just yet, i'd advise you to get your old cruisers out, check your tires, tubes, brakes, chains, and streamers, and set aside wednesday nights for the spring, summer, and fall for some sweet, old riding enjoyment. on yehuda moon, there is a sense among some commuter cyclists that the racers don't know how to have fun on bikes. i'm doing all i can to help change that image. oh, by the way, the iowa race season, you know, the season that exists OUTSIDE, kicks off in fine fashion this weekend, with TWO races in the area. saturday, bring your bikes to the mitchelville city park for a 50 mile gravel road race sponsored by all9yards.com racing team. 10 am start. sunday, make it out to the cumming tap for free breakfast burritos from 700 to 900 am, and then hit the gravel for a 100 km out-and-back race. it's a fundraiser for the des moines bike kollective, with great prizes, and a killer course.

DON'T FORGET THAT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME BEGINS SATURDAY NIGHT/SUNDAY MORNING.

oh, and about the kollective: there is a 5-week bike repair class that begins tonight, and at the end of the month, ladies nights begin. the 2d and 4th mondays of the month with be all for you, with topics to be announced later.

oh, it's riding time again...

he IS a big fat liar

i TRIED to listen to this crap, but, jesus christ, what a fucking blowhard...

how soon they forget

You Might be a Republican If...

1) You believe that Bush's redistribution of middle-class tax cuts to thetop 1% of tax-payers was good for America, but Obama's plan to return it to the middle class is 'socialism.'

2) You believe stem cells are living human beings, but thousands of Iraqi children are 'expendable collateral damage.'

3) You believe tax cuts for billionaires are a great idea, yet you wonder why the economy has stalled, your job just got out sourced to India, and oil company executives receive $400,000,000.00 retirement packages as they cut pensions for their labor force.

4) You believe that the surge worked because the violence in Iraq is back to 2006 levels, which is only horrible, compared to what it was in 2007; intolerable. Besides, Brit Hume said so.

5) You think trial lawyers are harmful to America, but you support prosecuting some guy in Muncie Indiana who burned his 99¢ American flag that was made in China by forced child labor.

6) You're all for the 'rule of law' when it's applied to Bill Clinton for lying about his infidelity, but not for prosecuting Karl Rove and Scooter Libby for committing treason.

7) You think George W. Bush is actually a really smart guy, but his folksy manner just makes him seem dumber than he really is.

8) You believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

9) You believe Ronald Reagan was a great president who had complete control of all aspects of government, but that Iran-Contra Affair was an insignificant scandal that went on without his knowledge.

10) You believe Democrats tax and spend, but George W. Bush was a fiscal conservative.

11) You believe Oliver North, who was CONVICTED of perjury, obstruction of justice, destroying evidence and accepting bribes is a patriot, but John Kerry, who saved a man's life while under enemy fire in Vietnam is a coward.

12) You believe George W. Bush has kept us safe from terror, and that the failure to prevent the 9/11 attacks were Clinton's fault.

13) You actually believe Fox News is fair & balanced.

14) You still believe Saddam had truckloads of WMDs, and that he somehow managed to sneak them into Syria, right under our noses.

15) You believe Terri Schiavo was sentient all along, and that Bill Frist had the ability to diagnose her condition by watching a 5 second video of her sleeping.

16) You're in favor of stronger prison sentences for drug users, yet your favorite radio personality is Rush Limbaugh.

17) You complain about having to press 1 for English, yet you hire illegal Mexicans to mow your lawn because they're cheaper than hiring the kid next door.

18) Homosexuality is abhorrent to you, except when a Republican senator, the president of the National Association of Evangelicals, and a planted White House journalist get caught having sexual affairs with gay men, then you suddenly feel sorry for them.

19) The war in Iraq makes perfect sense to you, but any suggestion by Barack Obama that we target al Qaeda terrorists in Pakistan is 'dangerous and reckless.'

20) You don't mind that president Bush tortured al Qaeda suspects, yet you're horrified by the barbarism of al Qaeda when they capture one of our guys.

21) You believe the 1/10 of 1% of scientists who claim global warming is a hoax, and reject the 99.9% who say it's real, because Sean Hannity and his friends in the oil industry have convinced you that science is a liberal conspiracy.

22) You believe that patriotism means you should support your government right or wrong (unless a Democrat's in power, then it's your patriotic duty to call him a closet Muslim, challenge his birth certificate, expose his sex life and impeach him).

23) You're proud of your party's 'culture of life.' Yet you support the death penalty for minors, you believe 600,000 dead Iraqis is justified because one of them was Saddam Hussein, and you oppose confronting the genocide in Darfur because they don't have oil.

24) You support prayer in school, as long as your kids aren't subjected to any prayers other than Christian ones.

25) You think Darwin's theory of evolution is a loony fairy tale and that mankind actually began with two naked teenagers, a magic apple and a talking snake.

26) You think $35 billion spent on health care for children is a waste of taxpayer's money, but $3 TRILLION spent on a catastrophic war that has isolated us from our allies, decimated our economy and made us less safe wasmoney well spent.

27) You believe embargoing communist Cuba is sound foreign policy, but trading with China is just good business.

28) You believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were faithful husbands and that Larry Craig just has a wide stance.

29) You fervently defend the Constitution, but when president Bush got caught monitoring 300 million phones without a warrant, politicizing our justice system, hyping evidence for going to war and pardoning a convicted perjurer who just happened to be on his staff, then it's okay, because he was just 'protecting America.'

30) You were outraged when a gallon of gasoline went from $1.29 to $1.40 during the two terms of the Clinton presidency, but you didn't seem to mind when prices tripled under George W. Bush, the "oil man."

31) You were furious when Bill Clinton pardoned international commodities trader Marc Rich, who was convicted of tax evasion, but applauded when George W. Bush exonerated Scooter Libby for obstructing justice to protect Dick Cheney from a treason indictment.

32) With no evidence whatsoever, you complained of 'voter fraud,' and demanded that thousands of blacks be scrubbed from voting lists during the 2004 election in Ohio, yet when Rush Limbaugh asked his audience to illegally claim to be Democrats and vote for Hillary Clinton during the Ohio Primary in February to "stir up trouble," a felony, you were okay with that.

33) You believe that Barack Obama should be held accountable for every sermon that Jeremiah Wright ever gave, but John McCain, who sought the endorsement of anti-Semitic, xenophobic, openly racist and homophobic pastors should be given a pass.

34) You believe that Barack Obama is either a secret Muslim, was actually born in Kenya, and his parents forged a fake birth certificate when he was born - just in case he should ever run for president, or that his father's nationality disqualifies his son from being president, all because you read that on the Internet.

35) You believe that the 8 consecutive years of prosperity and strong economic growth from 1993 - 2001 was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush, but today's recession is all Clinton's fault.

36) You think this list is mean-spirited and biased, and even though you privately acknowledge to yourself that it's all true, you believe the Democrats are just as bad. Here's a bulletin: Nobody has EVER been this bad.

The Republican party is OVER. Thank God.