i don't think this actually applies to izzy

Dear Dr. Science,

Bears have cubs, dogs have pups,

but what do you call a baby squirrel?

--a concerned reader
. . .
Technically, a baby squirrel is known as a "smurf."

By the way, possession of a baby squirrel is a felony in most states.

It is especially frowned upon

to take an immature squirrel across state lines

in order to fulfill some sick need you have to rescue pitiful creatures

so you can feel better about yourself.

Remember, self-esteem cannot be bought

at the expense of cute, fuzzy creatures.

If you'd like to have an approximation of a baby squirrel

to cuddle in private moments,

why not try taking a few mismatched socks and

balling them up together?

You can draw eyes, nose and mouth with a magic marker.

At least that's what I've always done,

and I feel pretty good about myself.