Wednesday, August 01, 2007

i don't think this actually applies to izzy



Dear Dr. Science,
Bears have cubs, dogs have pups,
but what do you call a baby squirrel?
--a concerned reader
. . .
Technically, a baby squirrel is known as a "smurf."

By the way, possession of a baby squirrel is a felony in most states.
It is especially frowned upon
to take an immature squirrel across state lines
in order to fulfill some sick need you have to rescue pitiful creatures
so you can feel better about yourself.
Remember, self-esteem cannot be bought
at the expense of cute, fuzzy creatures.
If you'd like to have an approximation of a baby squirrel
to cuddle in private moments,
why not try taking a few mismatched socks and
balling them up together?
You can draw eyes, nose and mouth with a magic marker.
At least that's what I've always done,
and I feel pretty good about myself.

2 comments:

Marlin Perkins said...

A baby squirrel is called a kit or kitten.

the mostly reverend said...

what do you call the off-spring of a rabid, man-eating raccoon?