the obstacle: this diagram clearly shows the frozen heat mother nature was pitching sunday. "g" is me, muttering "gosh" as i pedalled my forty-pound blue beauty; "h" represents the headwind into which i was riding, all the way from the orphanage to the douglas avenue walgreen's, countless blocks away; while "v" is the vicodin, sure to raise my morale while reducing my ability to operate heavy equipment.
bicycling is more than just pedaling--it's SCIENCE: oh, yeah, there's a lot of science involved, the way i pedal a bike. LOTS of science. just look at those lines, they was they go up and down. the red line indicates my first wind; the blue, my second wind. most importantly, look at the black line, my fourth wind. FOURTH wind. hell, lots of guys have a hard time getting their second wind. you've seen that puffy-faced dick enrico, from the second wind store, haven't you? he gets all excited about second winds--but i'm talking about FOURTH wind. i'm telling you, that's a LOT of power. and that was into a blizzard. did i mention that? and remember, this was my first time on a bike in three weeks. THREE WEEKS! i'm sick here, remember? and look at that science i'm putting out.
the fitness experts at the orphanage: after a gruelling workout like the one i described above, one that produces that much science, that much raw data, well, it's just not good to leave THAT kind of science laying around. kids could get hurt. that's why the orphanage has on staff a full contingent of highly-trained experts, waiting to make sense of all that data. as far as i'm concerned, they just point out the obvious: i'm one hell of an athlete. even with a broken body, and with three weeks away from my highly-structured and physically- and mentally-demanding several-times-a-day workout schedule, i can still knock them out of the park.
what's it mean? i'm back, baby, i'm back!!