Saturday, June 09, 2007

it's not fair! [world naked bike ride]

paris: "it's not fair!"
mum: "what's not fair, dear? it's not fair that your dubious good looks and our family's indisputable billions weren't enough to keep you from being arrested for drunk driving in the first place?"

paris: "no, but it's not fair!"

mum: "what's not fair, dear? it's not fair that all the notoriety and infamy following your arrest for violating the california criminal code when you drove your terribly expensive little silver sports car while your driving privileges were suspended or revoked wasn't sufficient to keep that stupid judge from revoking your probation and tossing your pert and widely familiar little ass in jail like he does several dozen times a week to countless scores of "little people" who do exactly the same thing as you did?"

paris: "no, but it's not fair!"

mum: "what's not fair, dear? it's not fair that once your incredibly high-priced lawyers and terribly expensive medical and psychiatric experts convinced the county sheriff's personnel that you are on the verge of wetting your pants out of anger at not getting your way and that they should release you to "home detention" with "electronic monitoring" despite the specific, hand-written provisions added by the sentencing judge that seemed to explicitly prohibit home release, work furloughs, and electronic monitoring in lieu of incarceration, which would seem to reduce the special treatment you ought to receive to the same disgusting level as everyone else who commits the same damned thing?"

paris: "no, it's not fair that by being in jail this weekend, i'm not going to be able to help stop indecent exposure to vehicle emissions."

mum: "well, that sounds wonderful, dear. how in the world would you be able to do THAT?"

paris: "today is the annual WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE. i learned about it at the mtv movie awards the other night, and it sounds totally fabulous. i can even take my little doggie with me. where is she, by the way?"

1 comment:

Bart said...

Hearing that Paris was sodomized by her cell mates would make me laugh out loud.