Wednesday, June 27, 2007

news from the city desk...

in a joint release this morning,
the city of des moines street department and
its department of parks and recreation
proudly announce an expedited approach to unveiling
their long-anticipated urban bike trail system.
an unnamed official was quoted as saying,
"we've dragged our feet too long on this, and as a result,
far too many cyclists have been killed and injured
due to the city's inaction.
of course, it's my personal opinion that one death,
or even one injured cyclist, is far too great a price to pay
to ensure that our city streets are safe for ALL who choose to use them.
because we build and maintain a system of streets, we [the city] are
legally and MORALLY obligated to make and keep them safe
for each and every person who chooses to use them,
for whatever purpose, and by whatever mode of transport.
we have failed miserably in our social compact
with our residents and guests.
for that, i am deeply and eternally sorry.
this expedited approach is but a small first step.
but trust me,
it won't be the last!
i hope and trust that the motoring public will cooperate
with our efforts to help create and maintain
a truly safe enviroment for bicyclists.
but personally, i doubt that there will be a smooth transition.
for the most part, those drivers are just a bunch of
lazy dumb-asses who can't see beyond the boundaries of their huge bellies."


Dave said...

Did you dream this statement? It sounds to good to be true.

the mostly reverend said...

well, dave [if that's really your name], the number one rule of the internets is:
"1--you can't print it if it isn't true."
somewhere in the top ten rules of the internets is:
"?--number 1 is not applicable if you are trying to hook up."