Tuesday, November 06, 2007

a timely reminder: tough guy points

it's that time of year again:
the temperature has dropped, the wind is more likely to blow from the north than the south, and virtually everyone who rides their bike outside is talking about their "epic" bike ride, and about their tough guy points.
well, it WASN'T, and you didn't get any.
please read this post from last winter before you start tossing around terms like "epic." these standards have withstood the test of many seasons, and riders much better than you abide by their requirements.
if it ain't the following, it ain't epic, you got zero points,
so shut up about it.
--the mostly reverend
the face of tough guy points
many riders have been asking me all fall and winter about "tough guy points."
it's a lot like the supreme court's view of obscenity: "i'll know it when i see it."
[former u.s. supreme court justice potter stewart, 1964]
it's like this: you've gotta have several of the following factors:
1--below freezing;
3--long ride [certainly more than 2 hours--that's not even a warm-up];
4--unusually harsh road conditions [soft gravel, muds, ice or such];
5--very brisk pace throughout;
6--you shall NOT use the word "epic" to describe the ride
[penalty: forfeiture of all accumulated points];
7--"precipitation" is a bonus;
8--"someone on the ride vomits or bonks" is a bonus.
. . . . .
bottom line: it's gotta hurt; you've gotta feel it the next day--or no points.
[otherwise they have no redemption value later in the actual season.]


Andy said...

2 hours... I don't care what you say. If its 15 below (f) and my eyelashes are freezing together then a mere hour is enough to make it epic.
Enjoy your ride!

Anonymous said...

I had an epic poop this morning and saved it for verification by you, Kim. I will present it at the Jingle Cross, probably at 1 lap to go via a slingshot or catapult of some sort. Finish the race with a face full of my humanity and you may be awarded a tough guy point, maybe. You still sporting that facial hair?


Anonymous said...

You got lucky last night kim. I thought you where going to miss out on the first points of the season. I checked my water at the end of the ride and no ice. Dam I thought I was going to take an early lead on you. Feeling any better?

Anonymous said...

Tough guy point question.
did a 3+ hour gravel ride on a track bike in the cold but not supper cold. I thought i might be close to getting a point but I had so much damn fun I don't think it counts. Just figured I would ask an expert.

Anonymous said...

Tough Guy Club answer: if you have to question whether or not you're a tough guy rider, well...not. J. Barnes.

the mostly reverend said...

laughing loudly!
j barnes, you've nailed it.

by the way, chad and i are planning to do some 100 mile hilly fixed gear rides later this fall and winter.
we'll keep you posted.

the mostly reverend said...

oh, and pickle: yup, still the fuzzy face. meet me at donnelly's thanksgiving saturday.
i'll bring some poop, too.
i think it will be fun.

S.Fuller said...

100 mile hilly fixed gear rides? Mmmmmm lemme know when those are gonna go down.