a rabbi, an old order amish minister,

and a unitarian universalist walk into a mule race

at a county fair. it seems that one of the mules had taken

a serious interest in not racing that particular afternoon,

and to make things worse, this old mule was causing a bit

of a commotion, what with all her braying, kicking and stomping.

the old timers had seen a lot of obstinence over the years,

but this old girl had a will and determination, combined with her

noteworthy size, that rendered her a potentially lethal mule.

mildred, the mule, had thrown walter, her owner, and as well

as three other farmers who had been sitting on the fence nearby

and who had nobly but unsuccessfully tried to rein her in.

when mildred noticed the trio approaching the ring,

she reared on her hind legs, and let out a mighty snort.

the rabbi rushed up, and with his arms flailing, shouted

" - - - - - !"

the angry mule continued her perilous stampede.

slightly bemused, the unitarian universalist skipped up,

hopped the fence in a single bound, and sang out,

" - - - - -!"

again, the mule refused to respond.

in fact, she seemed even more inspired.

slowly, the old order amish minister approached the ring.

he looked directly in her eyes, and she immediately began

slowly to return to earth. with a barely perceptible tremble,

which seemed to grow with each step mildred took,

her eyes never leaving the amish minister's gaze,

he slowly approached mildred's trailer, and

turned to his two companions and said,

" - - - - -."

[i've gotta get a new cell phone carrier, dammit.]