Friday, April 13, 2007

cleaning out the "in" basket

jan's heading for depression:
don't park your bike in a public rack!
read this...
Jan Ullrich Feels He Can No Longer Trust Anyone
With His Bags Of Blood
BERLIN—Sources close to Tour de France-winning cyclist Jan Ullrich
said Monday that the retired champion is beginning to feel
that plastic bags of his blood may not be safe in the hands of anyone
but himself after Spanish authorities found several of Ullrich's blood bags
in the office of an infamous Spanish doping doctor.
"Even long after I retire,
sacks of my blood are still turning up in the strangest places,"
Ullrich, the only German to ever win the Tour,
reportedly said to business associates.
"You think your blood bags are safe with someone,
and the next thing you know, aha! There it is in some Madrid refrigerator.
Do I trust myself to people too easily, do you think?"
Authorities in possession of the blood would not speculate on its origin,
but photos posted on the Velo News website seem to show the inscription
"To Lance And Sheryl, Best Wishes,
on the seal of one bag.
* * * * *
as a public service, read this:
How can you tell the difference between
normal age-related memory loss and Alzheimer's?
Here's a quick test:
Start with a seven-digit phone number.
Say it out loud to the person you are testing.
After 5 minutes, tell them the phone number again,
along with two others.
Have them pick out the original phone number
you gave them 5 minutes ago.
What does the person's answer mean?
People with any kind of memory loss may have trouble
remembering the entire phone number immediately,
but that's not the test.
After 5 minutes, a person with Alzheimer's
and someone with another type of memory loss
may remember zero to four digits.
But if you give them three different phone numbers,
including the original, the person with Alzheimer's
won't recognize the original phone number, while the other person will.
Memory loss is normal as we get older;
it can start as early as age 30.
In the brains of people with Alzheimer's disease,
neurons (read nerve cells that contain information)
tangle with each other and stop working properly.
Forgetfulness is the first sign,
then short-term memory loss.
Long-term memory is the last to disappear.
Alzheimer's disease with this symptom checker.
No single test can diagnose Alzheimer's.
So no matter how a person does on the phone number test,
if you're concerned, get your loved one to a doctor for evaluation.
Want better recall?
Give your mind a workout with this word puzzler.
RealAge Benefit: Learning a new game that requires brainpower
can make your RealAge 1.3 years younger.
* * * * *
RealAge Smart Search:
* * * * *
and finally, this...
i just got home, after a day between here at the orphanage,
and ames, and elkhart, and ames, and it's 100 am,
i'm going through the emails that
my secretary [remember her?] hasn't deleted,
and--i shit you not--there is an email from an old buddy from law school.
i haven't seen him in nearly 20 years.
turns out he's an entertainment lawyer on the east coast,
and somehow or other, his firm has a connection with westwood one,
the branch of cbs who syndicated imus, and who fired him this afternoon.
seems they're looking for someone to take over part of his time slot-
-just an hour a day, low-key approach,
but completely different than the crap
imus and crew were putting out.
he remembered me from law school;
actually, he remembered the themed costume parties i put on
every six weeks for nearly three years, and did a google search for me.
found the daily sermonette.
short story long, i'm flying to new york in a couple weeks.
they're looking at putting the daily sermonette on the air,
just a few dozen stations to begin with,
take some calls, play some music
[a live band on fridays doing acoustic stuff from the front porch],
and talk about whatever the stream of consciousness produces.
he recalled fondly my contributions to various classes,
including family/abortion law, constitutional law, and such.
whad'ya think about that?
i told him i might be able to do lou's wedding,
and he was intrigued by the idea of reports from the devil
and other bike racing news.
cbs is looking for "a fresh, new perspective."
. . . . .
i think i'm ready for bed;
gotta take the recycling out bright and early tomorrow.
* * * * *
we'll miss ya, kurt.
and so it goes.


Anonymous said...

Hey - that was funny.


lost78 said...

Sweet, I wanna be your web developer once you get hired. I'm cheap, I work for bikes and bike parts.

So it goes, indeed. I'm just about to dive into Slaughterhouse Five again. What a human!